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AIBU to expect him to help?

(7 Posts)
amverytired Sat 02-Jul-11 10:08:34

Have had serious relationship issues which we are working through. Things fairly good now. I'm a SAHM that does some part-time work during academic year. 3 young dc (1 in school, 2 pre-schoolers). Dh has started a new job in same company as he worked in before. He now leaves at 6.40 and is back at 5.15. He's on his feet all day. When he comes home he helps dish up dinner, eats with us all, plays with dc, does his stuff in the garden and helps get them to bed. He might put a plate or 2 in the dishwasher. He now says he doesn't want to do any housework at the weekends as he is working so much during the week.
Our house is a tip. Dc have stuff to do at the weekends which I take care of and I also do the shopping then while he minds dc, does things in garden. Pigs would be flying before he ever took them out by himself so the cleaning up part at the weekend is like shovelling snow in a blizzard. AIBU to expect a bit more help?

PrettyMeerkat Sat 02-Jul-11 10:23:57

Why won't he take the children out by himself? It must be (well I know from experience) near impossible to get the place clean and tidy with them all there.

So at the weekends he messes about in the garden and you do all the housework, looking after kids, kids activities, food shopping etc?

How does he expect you to get all that done with 3 small children?! I understand that he works all day but although it's a fairly early start it's an early return.

hocuspontas Sat 02-Jul-11 10:32:02

Well your working week doesn't stop on Friday evening so why should his?

Nailitorelse Sat 02-Jul-11 10:43:29

Know your place woman...........and don't bother voting either!

fuzzpig Sat 02-Jul-11 10:47:20

Why won't he take them out on his own? Presumably you manage it, why can't he?

Very good point about your work not stopping at the weekend... But his does. It is an early start, does he get a lie-in at the weekends? Maybe he could sleep late and then get up and take the DCs out?

Lonnie Sat 02-Jul-11 10:53:20

Why is it a choice? I mean Ive never given my dh a choice in if he wished to parent our children just like he doesnt give me a choice it is a joint venture.

Say to him " what would you rather take the kids to the park for 1 hour whilst I do the laundry and blitz the kitchen " or stay home do the laundry and blitz the kitchen whilst I go to the park.

stillfrazzled Sat 02-Jul-11 11:05:02

I always say this on these threads: YANBU in wanting him to do stuff. YABU in describing it as 'helping'.

What you want him to do is HIS FAIR FUCKING SHARE of the work. 'Helping' suggests you both see it as your problem, so maybe an attitude change is required?

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