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to be unbelievably bored and fed up with being POOR, FAT, IDLE and a miserable SHOUTY MUM!

(25 Posts)
RuddyNora Fri 01-Jul-11 20:58:59

So as from tomorrow,

I shall not be on mumsnet for at least 6 months (if ever again) to cure my addiction - I shall play with the DCs instead. I actually turned down DS1's plea to play monopoly with him last night so I could continue reading stuff on here sad.

I shall stop smoking - cold turkey. I only smoke in the eves after DCs in bed but can get through 10 while standing in the garden freezing/boiling/getting wet [delete as appropriate] and therefore don't go to bed until midnight as I am in and out all night.

I shall start the alternate day diet which I have been thinking about for a loooong while but could'nt be arsed to start. I know I can do it, have done numerous 'fasting' diets before so I know I can last for a day at a time. I will have a meal replacement shakes on a 'fasting' day. I know this will greatly improve my health and have researched it a lot. I will eat healthy on the 'eating' days but will not give up completely if a choc bar passes my lips as I will already have almost halved my weekly calories!

I shall start writing a book that I have been thinking about for a loooong while, as well as looking for a new job to start in September and a nursery for baby DS.

I shall get up every morning at 6.00am (hence the stopping smoking so I go to bed earlier) so I can go to the gym/swim for an hour before DH goes to work. I shall also start walkingrunning with DD in the evenings as she is starting to get a pudge and thinks she needs to stop eating when all she needs to do is keep active so lead by example I say.

I shall talk quietly and firmly to to the DCs when they misbehave and ignore me without throwing things at them and shouting like a banshee.

AIBU in thinking I will never be able to keep that up?

I am 40 in 100 days and I adore my DCs and DH but hate my life. I have been rich and poor, fat and thin but never so miserable as now (no I do not need to see my GP before anyone says it - I already have and was offered anti-d's which I don't want). 100 days to change my life is quite symbolic I think.

Anyone else like to share what things they have been thinking about for a looooong time and need a kick up the arse to do?

Tryharder Fri 01-Jul-11 21:07:06

Your post kind of hit a nerve with me because I will be 40 at roughly the same time as you and could've written a lot of what you were saying.

Let us know how you get on!

BsshBossh Fri 01-Jul-11 21:07:43

Of course you can do all/most those things, OP. Good for you! I quit smoking many years ago, I started to exercise in my 30s, I'm now losing weight on a diet and sticking with it, I've even started to write a novel and have nearly finished it. I just now need to cut down the amount of time I spend on Mumsnet blush - so I guess that's my new goal. Oh and I am 41 in two months time grin.

SuePurblybilt Fri 01-Jul-11 21:11:06

Oh I've had that sort of day too. My house is a fecking kip, I've chores undone, I'm ratty, unhealthy and tired. Been like that for about a month.

I do love MN but I got a lot more done last month when I was on a break grin. I think I'm going to have to limit it to an hour an evening. This dipping in and out is fatal.

The diet sounds interesting. Do you just have one shake thingy all day on the 'fast' days then?

fedupofnamechanging Fri 01-Jul-11 21:11:07

I like the idea of the alternate days diet.

I think that if you've identified things in your life that are making you unhappy, then you do need to change them. Life is short and it's so sad to spend it behaving in a way that causes you painful regrets.

I think it's difficult to maintain being calm and reasonable all the time, but trying to maintain it most of the time is a good thing. It's also good that you will exercise with your DD, you are right to lead by example.

I would like to sort out my diet, and my house (lots of work needs doing. It is clean and tidy but the garden is a shocker and the whole place needs redecorating). I'd also like to find exercise I enjoy (no luck there so far).

I hope you stick to your aims.

LordOfTheFlies Fri 01-Jul-11 21:11:30

Phew! it's alot of changes to do at once.
I like the idea of the alternate day diet though,seems alot easier to get back on the wagon.
Why not give up the ciggies and do the extra swim/walking.
Then start the diet because your metabolism will be kickstarted by the extra excercise. (Light evenings make it easier).
I would excercise at night because I'm rubbish in the morning.

BTW turning 40 is a good lifechanging milestone (I'm 45)

Do you need to get the job to pay for nursery? If not you would have a bit extra time. If you need the nursery to have the childcare to get the job it's worth looking now (waiting lists for most)

Good luckwink

I need to lose weight/excercise- my DS cheerfully told me I was getting chubby.Good job the little bugger can run fast!
I don't smoke/drink but I'm a bit overly fond of the Nescafe Gold Blend blush

asecretlemonadedrinker Fri 01-Jul-11 21:11:40

Good for you. I just reached 25 (I know, but in my mind I am still 18 and have wasted the last 7 years) and I feel the same. I would suggest one thing at a time though. Really build up your life, don't crash and burn. Good luck x

Asinine Fri 01-Jul-11 21:13:25

The book/blog should be called '100 days to change my life', and written diary style.

MummyTigger Fri 01-Jul-11 21:15:15

TBH, I would say that expecting one massive lifestyle change to happen in 100 days, let alone SIX, is really pushing it. What I'd suggest is taking things a step at a time. Quit the smoking and start getting up early on a regular basis. Once you feel you've grown accustomed to those changes, you can move onto changing your diet and searching for a new career.

Taking things one step at a time is the best way to achieve results, and you have to realise that results won't happen immediately. You don't ask an athlete to jump over ten hurdles in one go, they space them out to have time to recover, and that's what you should be doing.

I think that you're being incredibly matter-of-fact and brave about this smile And in a year, when you're a healthy, happy, tolerant, non-smoking, working mum you can come back to us and boast all you want - because you've bloody well deserved it!

And as for the quitting MumsNet thing - I think that having a support network of people here to egg you on and cheer you up when you just feel like giving up and reaching for that cigarette would be much better than trying to go it all on your own smile And I hope you achieve all you want to achieve, and more. You sound like you deserve it!

PinkSchmoo Fri 01-Jul-11 21:17:01

35 in two months. I would love to be fit funky and fabulous. I am currently flabby, frumpy and fucked off.

Is there any chance of turning it round in 2 months with an 8 wo DS who is the most wonderful time drain ever....

How about a couch to 5k? Doable?


peppapighastakenovermylife Fri 01-Jul-11 21:21:08

30 next year.

I like the idea of the alternate day diet, even if I will probably do a less extreme diet day as still breastfeeding. Maybe just a not eat lots of cake days hmm

chicletteeth Fri 01-Jul-11 21:30:05

I need to stop shouting too


I shout (a lot some days) and I hate myself for it afterwards.

i am by myself (during the week) with 3 DS aged 6 and under and sometimes, I just can't help it.

DH coming home at weekends doesn't really help on the discipline front either.

mitfordsisters Fri 01-Jul-11 21:30:29

Ruddynora, I think I love you. is good for help in getting off fags

tralalala Fri 01-Jul-11 21:33:19

go for it. I went cold turkey on MN for 6 months best thing I ever did as I to me it's abit like driving witha mobile for you kids. You're basically on half available.

I now come on now and again ONLY if the kids are asleep and DH out. Completely improved my relationship with my kids. I used to find them annoying me as basically I ignored them to talk to a bunch of strangers. My DS1 (aged 5) told me he hated the computer as I would 'forget about him' when I was on it.
Since only coming on if kids out I have so much more time, do loads more with them, play with them, talk to them properly. I'm much happier and so are they and I didnt miss MN at all after a few days, in fact it was relief!

Good Luck, take it all day by day, and if you diet only do something sustainable forever (ie just eat a bit less and change stuff to healthier stuff) I did that and lost 4 stone and maintained it for about 4 years. Diets make you obsess about stuff,

RuddyNora Fri 01-Jul-11 21:48:10

Thanks ladies. I AM going to do all of it at once. It is doable and necessary. The alternate day diet will be sustainable and as I understand it very good for me.

I have spent too long procrastinating. The countdown to my 40th is all the motivation I need. It's so scary - I'm still 18 inside and need to grow up. What I save on fags I will be putting to a makeover - works out to about £350 quid - yikes.

After visiting my GP and being offered anti-ds, I realised that I am causing my own unhappiness and only I can do something about it. I cannot wait for something to come to me to change it. Wish me luck - I am off!

Bumperlicioso Fri 01-Jul-11 21:56:02

I think you sound like you want to make some really positive changes. My worry would be that they may not be realistic, and if you slip up on one it will all go to pot. I tend to have that 'throw the baby out with the bathwater' mentality.

Could you do, eg as another poster suggested and just Mn when kids are asleep? You can get browser add ons that can limit your access to certain sites.

Good luck. I know the feeling of wanting to make many changes. But ime some change lead naturally on to others without the pressure.

yearningforthesun Fri 01-Jul-11 22:02:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SweetGrapes Fri 01-Jul-11 22:14:26

All the best! Hope I don't see you again!! grin

Am 40 in 100 days too (give or take a few days...) and had been thinking the same. Think I'll join you in being absent from here. That, and the weight loss/over eating are my big problems at the moment.

madhousewife Fri 01-Jul-11 22:16:44

You are an inspiration!

iloveblue Fri 01-Jul-11 22:29:05

I've just read this book - and have found it very inspiring. It has really urged me to make changes in my life.
There is a blog attached to it too.
She talks a bit about writing books (she has written several other books), which may also be helpful.

Candid Fri 01-Jul-11 22:37:15

You really can do this.
Just getting off the pc will aid you to achieve most of your goals.

I quit smoking about 8 yrs ago and started exercising. It has done wonders for me. When you list the reasons for quitting, there are loads and pretty much none for not quitting. The money aspect was a big motivator for me. I felt like such a mug handing over a fiver at a time for something that was going to kill me and make me stink.

I cut my time on here and other sites as I realised I was doing the same as you. I was saying 'in a minute, in a minute' to my dcs pleas to read them some books because I was more intersted in crap online. Now I usually switch on if I'm having a coffee break or in the evenings a few times during the week after they've gone to bed and I've spent some time chatting with dh. I realised I wasn't spending much time with dh either.

I've got weight to lose but I think I'll do a low gi diet.

I need a general revamp. I feel like I've turned into a frump. I'm 2 stone overweight, my hair is greying and needs dying and cutting. I need my feet sorting out and a pedicure. I need new clothes because I've not wanted to spend much money on clothes in this size. This has major repercussions on my life as I avoid going out with friends and family if I haven't seen them in a whils as I think they'll judge me for being an overweight frump.

So I'll join you in changing my life to make it better.

Rowgtfc72 Fri 01-Jul-11 23:06:11

Im 40 in January and would love to lose three stone by then if I can get my fat arse into gear! More pressing is dd starting Reception at a new school in September and not being the fat,old,grey haired mum at the school gate.

bumpsoon Fri 01-Jul-11 23:18:44

Just turned forty , am fat , borderline alcoholic, chain smoke through the evenings (outdoors), very shouty ' why are you so grumpy mummy?' parent {answer: dont ask darling otherwise you will never have the grandchildren i will yearn for in a decade or so }. As for writing a bleeding book , i would be happy just getting the bathroom cleaned more than once a fortnight grin

scottishmummy Fri 01-Jul-11 23:30:10

dereg from mn
walk more
get active health referral
dietary advice and alcohol reduction
know and recognise your own triggers,and be aware of flash points with the kids

Darnsarfupnorf Sat 02-Jul-11 00:08:45

snap! kind of...i dont smoke and ive just turned 20 but im still fat, lazy, grumpy and need to find some motivation. everything i think will kick my arse into gear doesnt it just depresses me!

i need motivation, i need to lose weight, i need to clean and i need a man! dd is now 3mo, beautiful and an absolute dream baby so whats wrong with me!

love this thread, good to know its not just me! was starting to think i was a failure as mother and a house wife (lol!) but thank god it seems to be normal, i dont feel so crap about myself now!

you can do it though! if you really want it its doable, good luck! xx

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