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A few rants about my sister's upcoming wedding. I will gripe, and you can tell me if IABU about each point, and then I'll get over it. Promise.

(93 Posts)
IAmBridesmaidzilla Fri 01-Jul-11 13:47:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fivegomadindorset Fri 01-Jul-11 13:50:25

YANBU go to go but she sounds awful

TobyLerone Fri 01-Jul-11 13:50:49

1/ YANBU, especially about the meal part.

2/ YANBU -- bridesmaids transport is usually sorted out for them.

3/ YApossiblyBU. How much did you try to be involved with the 'fun' stuff?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Fri 01-Jul-11 13:51:15

Oh no, I don't think you are being unreasonable. She is not behaving considerately or thoughtfully at all.

tazmin Fri 01-Jul-11 13:51:29

He wasn't invited to either of the stag do's, incidentally.
what was said when you asked why this was?

'I thought you could sort yourselves out?'.
you say ok, can you check the bus times on the internet and hopefully we wont get delayed

why didnt you just say no to paying £200 for a hen night, I would have no compuction in doing so and would have said so from the moment it was mentioned

CheerMum Fri 01-Jul-11 13:53:26

to be honest, she sounds like a typical bride (i.e. complete bridezilla). it sounds like there are a few things you need to sort out (like how you are getting to the venue). Maybe you three sisters could have a lunch together somewhere neutral to sort out the details?

(pats bmz nicely on the head)

bagelmonkey Fri 01-Jul-11 13:55:01

If she's treating your DH as 'staff' at her wedding, rather than as a guest, and expecting him to play through the meal, presumably she's paying him?

Thought not

goodkate Fri 01-Jul-11 13:56:14

I think you are being very calm in the circumstances. I'm getting married next week and I hope I'm been a bit nicer.

I think on the whole you should stick it out BUT I would make it quite clear that you have to sort the children out before you can go to your mums. If she screams and stamps her feet, thats her problem not yours.

I think your DH is right to refuse too, he needs to eat, so he should stick to his guns.

I would just walk around all day with an air of calm and unhassledness (like you've smoked a joint). You'll enjoy it more.

SposeIOughtToNameChange Fri 01-Jul-11 13:58:28

Typical bride. Put up, shut up, it'll be over soon.

I'd tell DH he has to sort himself out, don't get involved in that bit. Then tell her how you're getting there, to check she agrees. Finally, make damn sure you have fun on the day - free champagne = your earnings!

Remember, it's nearly over and soon you'll have your sister back. It's a temporary insanity.

SposeIOughtToNameChange Fri 01-Jul-11 13:59:11

BTW, of course YANBU, but YABU to expect her to be reasonable.

dreamingbohemian Fri 01-Jul-11 13:59:42

Oh she's a total bridezilla. The only things that maybe you are being a bit U about is: 1) should her fiance be obligated to invite your DH to his stag do? are they friends at all? 2) it probably makes sense for her friends to organise the hen do if they go out with her all the time, know what she likes to do (assuming if you and your other sis have kids you probably aren't still going clubbing with her!) £200 is crazy though.

But otherwise no, definitely YANBU

IAmBridesmaidzilla Fri 01-Jul-11 14:00:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Fri 01-Jul-11 14:01:02

YANBU - she sounds absolutely dreadful!

Sarsaparilllla Fri 01-Jul-11 14:02:26

YANBU, she sounds like a pain in the arse

SposeIOughtToNameChange Fri 01-Jul-11 14:02:27

Dsis1 and I are in danger of becoming the bitchy older sisters in this little Family Drama.

Exactly. Don't. It's just a wedding. We all know that the marriage is more important. Please don't get upset by the wedding. She is temporarily mad.

IAmBridesmaidzilla Fri 01-Jul-11 14:03:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goodkate Fri 01-Jul-11 14:04:09

Stay calm, its better that way - rise above it all - Hell be superior and show them how to behave - don't get dragged into the squalid arguments.

And enjoy the day for yourself, get drunk, be smoochy with your DH, pay lots of attention to your children - You'll have fun and realise whats important.

TobyLerone Fri 01-Jul-11 14:05:38

My youngest sister is pregnant with her PFB and is being all Pregzilla! I know the feeling, OP. My mum is behaving like nobody's ever had a baby before (she has 4 grandchildren already) and it's all a bit ridiculous. I miss her.

IAmBridesmaidzilla Fri 01-Jul-11 14:06:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goodkate Fri 01-Jul-11 14:10:25

If it's any consolation my Dad & Sister have fallen out this week, the week before my wedding. To be honest my sister is very unhappy, she can't have children, her husband isn't very nice to her etc etc. but we have all got a bit fed up of her constant sniping and general bitchiness so my Dad put his foot down and told her to stop, she told him to FO.

Still I can't get too upset I have a day to enjoy and they can resolve it themselves. They are grown up, people get over things - you'll have a fab day if you don't let it bother you.

IAmBridesmaidzilla Fri 01-Jul-11 14:10:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingbohemian Fri 01-Jul-11 14:12:06

Where I come from it would be really rare for a guy to invite his FIL on his stag do, and even BILs would be a close call, unless they were actual friends and not just people you saw at family events. So maybe give the fiance a break on that.

Are you and your sister the only bridesmaids? Is she being this rude to anyone else? If she is, then I guess try not to take it too personally, although it sounds like there's a lot of other stuff going on here.

goodkate Fri 01-Jul-11 14:12:15

OMG - even more reason to chill out love.

Tell you what I do when things like this happen - I pretend I have different heads. So for the wedding I put on my dreamy, slightly dim head with my boogie feet - works a treat - And I leave my stress head at home!

dreamingbohemian Fri 01-Jul-11 14:14:25

Okay everything she's doing is about 50 times worse considering you're pregnant! Wow.

funnypeculiar Fri 01-Jul-11 14:17:23

1. YANBU - that's a big ask 2 weeks before the wedding, & will impact massively on your dh. Could he offer to record a DVD to be played? (of his constant practicing?!?
2.Do you mean organising a car TO your mum's house or from mum's to venue? I think it's fair enough to expect a car to venue - but could you not fit in with your mum (assuming your dad is going with your sister). Or just ask for the wedding car phone number to book an extra car ;-)
3. Annoying, but if she's 8 years younger, maybe her mates are more in touch with what she'd want? £200 is mad, imo, but seems to be increasingly 'normal' - I'd let that one go.

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