To think that Ex deserves a huge kick in the face!

[BumWiper]

Ex hasn't seen DC1 in years.No cards,phone calls,maintenence,nothing.He contacted me last week asking to visit DC.I said yes after much thought,so DC and I met him in town.Meeting went ok,DC didn't seem too interested in him to be honest.
He rang this evening demanding DC stay overnight every weekend.I kindly explained that as he is practically a stranger to DC it would be better to build a relationship and trust first so that DC would be comfortable staying.

He lost it.Called me all the names under the sun,its my fault DC dosen't know him,I should have been talking about him as she grew up etc etc and that he will see me in court.
So I said I'll see you then and added that he can send on the cheque for half of DC's costs for the last 9 years.

DC calls DH dad,knows hes not real dad but likes to call him that.He gets the fathers day cards,was there for the first day of school,takes her to gymnastics and dancing.
I'm just pissed off that now Ex is showing interest in being part of DC's life when I and later DH have picked up his slack for nine years.

[worraliberty]

What 'reasons' did he give for not seeing him?

[BumWiper]

No reason.I havent heard from Ex in years.He seemed to disappear off the face of the earth.I knew he was fine and still alive as I always kept in contact with his parents and they see DC every couple of months.

[worraliberty]

Has he explained why he suddenly wants contact now?

[BumWiper]

He says that he wants to get to know her,be part of her life.

Personally I think he wants contact because he lost his job and wants to claim the extra ?29-80 dependant.

[BumWiper]

But thats just me being mean and thinking alterier motives.

[AgentZigzag]

He's a bit of a twat going in all guns blazing at such an early stage, throwing his weight and threats about.

And the bit about him thinking you should have talked about him to his DD...??

He obviously thinks he can brow beat you into thinking kindly of him

I'd stand back and let him get on with his tantrum, just do whatever you have to when and if the time comes, hopefully he'll calm down and it won't come anywhere near a court.

What was he like when you were together? I'm guessing at not a reasonable man.

[AgentZigzag]

What does your DD think of it all?

Does she want to see him?

[Cocoflower]

"I kindly explained that as he is practically a stranger to DC it would be better to build a relationship and trust first so that DC would be comfortable staying."

And this is exactly the view the court will take, so frankly he is welcome to follow his threat through.(Though I would go down the solicitor route and mediation first and they should explain this to him)

[BumWiper]

DC dosen't really care.I asked her did she want to see him again and was told -Not really-.Shes nine,almost ten.

He was actually really nice before I became pregnant and then he became quite possesive.