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to say something or should i keep my nose out?

(12 Posts)
biddysmama Thu 30-Jun-11 22:29:37

Help me out, am I sticking my nose in or should I say sonething? E is a fb friend and my cousins step sister,d is my cousins best mate and fb friend...
Saw a conversation today where e asked d for a lift, d asked if she had car seat for her 2 year old and e said "I've got <older childs> booster, he'll be ok on that" d is 18 ish and only just passed her test and the kid going on the booster is a couple of months younger thanmy dd, who is 27 months....

Its illegal (and stupid) right? So should I tell d since its her car,she probably doesn't know since she's young and no kids and she'd get fined/be to blame for an accident... And what should I saw so I'm not being judgy (I am tho lol)

AgentZigzag Thu 30-Jun-11 22:33:54

I would say something, not just because of it being illegal and something could happen to the DC, but you'd be the one wondering if you could have stopped it if something did happen.

Could you tell d away from fb? And perhaps ask her to not say anything to e so as not to kick up a storm in the family?

worraliberty Thu 30-Jun-11 22:34:31

Hmm how about mailing her a link and saying "Hope you don't think I'm interfering but just incase you're unaware...."

worraliberty Thu 30-Jun-11 22:35:10

I mean a link to Rospa or DVLA or something explaining the law

Haudyerwheesht Thu 30-Jun-11 22:35:23

Well, ds was on a high back booster from 26m because he outgrew his baby one so you never know BUT you could say 'watch out guys I heard the police had been spot checking vehicles with kids for correct car seat usage'

plupervert Thu 30-Jun-11 22:38:17

What a reckless mother.

You could tell D by personal message that you hope she has replied that she is uncomfortable taking a child not in the legally required seat.

This wouldn't go on D's wall, so E wouldn't be aware of any snitching, and D won't feel under pressure (because she could pretend it was her, D's own idea).

If D has already said yes, you could always jump in again, this time with a public wall post, offering the use of your DD's car seat for the journey, as you know such a small child needs proper protection. Even if it would be inconvenient for them to take you up on it, your concern should shame the mother and get D out of an embarrassing corner. No-one wants to tell a mother she is being reckless, but no-one wants to see a child hurt, either.

That's not to mention the potential for crawling around the car.... You will be doing D a real favour here! smile

thisisyesterday Thu 30-Jun-11 22:38:39

yes, i would say something.

i'm very blunt though so it would be more like "e, the baby is only 2!!! she needs a proper seat"

possibly followed up with "would you like to borrow one" or something, if you have a spare seat

biddysmama Thu 30-Jun-11 22:45:29

im pretty sure d wont know its not the right seat, shes not used to being around small children

i need to say something because i cant stop thinking about it, my dd is 32lb and the kid is smaller than her. i am pretty tactless sometimes so need guidance lol

tallulahxhunny Thu 30-Jun-11 22:51:12

what would the situation be in e was getting in a taxi with her dc? they only use boosters in taxis not proper baby seats.

i would say nothing !

hottoddy2 Thu 30-Jun-11 22:51:39

Let me ask you a question - Think of the worst case scenario and you did and said nothing. Could you live with yourself?

At the end of the day, the child's safety is the most important issue here.

Say to d what you know from a helping point of view - and find out if other arrangements can be made to get a proper car seat.

thisisyesterday Thu 30-Jun-11 22:53:38

the law states that she HAS to be in an appropriate car seat unless it is in a taxi

presumable E does not drive a taxi and as such it is her responsibility as the driver to ensure the child travels safely

the fact that you are allowed to use no seat in a taxi does not make this any less dangerous and the OP ought to say something to them

springydaffs Thu 30-Jun-11 23:41:37

of course you step in - always, always - to protect a child, even if it makes you look like a nosey bint etc, doesn't matter.

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