The man in question is my husband. I wrote in relationships about this so I won't drag it all out again here, but basically, we separated in May at his request. It was a total shock to me and I've been really struggling to keep myself together for my DS. I have anxiety and depression problems, and my father was also dying at the time my husband left so it's been very hard.
Anyway, H informed me last week that he has 'met someone' already. Turns out he met her barely a week after he left home, and thy've been dating. That hit me really hard, I felt like I just couldn't take any more hurt and I became clinically depressed. DS has had to go and stay with H as I wasn't able to look after him properly. It's been awful. But then H started telling me what a lovely, kind person she is (I don't give a toss if she's mother Theresa at this point)...and then he says she's a Christian.
Am I totally missing something here? How can you be a Christian and think it's OK to sleep with someone who's not even divorced, someone who's barely out of the marital home?
I hate him for doing this to me, and telling me about her when he knew I was barely holding things together anyway. but this 'she's lovely, she's a Christian' just makes me hate the woman and I don't even know her.
Apparently H has told her the situation with my mental health issues, and that this is making it particularly hard for me to cope with him leaving. He told me she 'struggles' with what she's doing and prays over it, and that just makes me want to scream 'hypocrite!'
She wasn't doing much struggling when she asked him to go to a concert that involved an 'overnight stay' less than two weeks after he'd left me. H even had the cheek to expect me to look after DS so they could go! (it was a day that we have agreed DS will spend with H regularly).
I am supposed to be meeting this woman on the weekend-I don't want to, but H keeps bleating on about how much he wants her to meet DS and there's NO WAY I'm letting them meet until I've met her first. But all I can think about is this stupid Christian thing and I know I'll end up confronting her about it just to vent my anger. But I'm not very well up on modern Christian thinking, so for all I know it's perfectly fine to have a sexual relationship with someone who's only separated...?
So AIBU to think she's going against her religion? And AIBU to want to put her on the spot and ask her to explain how she can be a Christian and sleep with a married man knowing the hurt and pain she's putting another woman through?
Sorry, I know this has turned into a bit of a rant, but H also told me that she 'understands' what I'm going through because her partner left her when their son was also very young, and met someone very quickly.
Her 'understanding' just makes me want to poke her eyes out.
She 'understands' so well that she's willing to put me through what she went through when her partner left her. How is any of what she's doing in keeping with Christian thinking and behaviour?
.....and breathe....
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AIBU?
To think that if you are a Christian, it's wrong to sleep with a man who's not divorced?
43 replies
StableButDeluded · 30/06/2011 19:55
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