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to be concerned that my DD doesn't get involved in play?

(11 Posts)
hellospoon Thu 30-Jun-11 12:01:48

DD is 16 months old, she is very outgoing, quite boisterous and very bright for her age however I am concerned that when I take her to play groups she never follows or gets involved with other children she just plays by herself.

AIBU to be concerned? I am worried she is going to be a loner and never make friends. This is my first DD so I am not sure how it all works re friends and play

newnamenickname Thu 30-Jun-11 12:09:02

No, I don't think so. I think at that age they mainly just play on their own anyway. My daughter probably wouldn't have played with other kids at that age. I think around two she started taking an interest in the other kids, and now at 2.5 she plays alongside them in the playgroups (duplo/ cars/ puppets) and they chase each other and play in the playhouse.

ZonkedOut Thu 30-Jun-11 12:16:24

Don't worry, it's usual at that age. My DD is 25 months and is only just playing with (more like alongside) other children.

I think they don't really make friends as such until nearer 3.

CoffeeDog Thu 30-Jun-11 12:21:37

I have twin boys.... the rarely play together...... she will whens she ready or finds some one worthy ;)

hellospoon Thu 30-Jun-11 12:56:01

Coffee, I was wondering if she is abit of a friend snob lol! She likes adults and will go to any adult but just not other kids.

I guess she will decide when she wants to join in, she is very boisterous at home and with people she knows however very shy and distant with kids at play group. I am wondering weather to go to them as I hate them!

hellospoon Thu 30-Jun-11 12:56:01

Coffee, I was wondering if she is abit of a friend snob lol! She likes adults and will go to any adult but just not other kids.

I guess she will decide when she wants to join in, she is very boisterous at home and with people she knows however very shy and distant with kids at play group. I am wondering weather to go to them as I hate them!

girlywhirly Thu 30-Jun-11 12:56:21

Until about 3yo children tend to play by themselves or alongside others, they don't play 'games' together. It's just a developmental thing. Unless another child grabs their toy away and they grab it back, there isn't much interaction. It's often found that dc in nurseries/playgroups start earlier than 3 to play together interactively.

So, don't stop going to the groups because suddenly she will start interacting with the other dc in play, chatting with them, etc. Having said that, some dc are more interested to watch other children's play rather than get involved themselves. Unless they actively avoid being with other children there is nothing to worry about.

My cousin pointed out something interesting about her DD1 and her friends' DS1, some days they were delighted to see each other, would run and hug, other days just said hello and that was that! It didn't mean they'd stopped being friends. You'll know when DD starts talking about other children and asking if they can play with her that she is making friends, or is interested in having their company. This is when you can be a bit more selective about who to invite over to play, or to parties.

Up until about 6yo boys and girls play games together, after 6yo they start playing in same sex groups, this is entirely normal until they hit their teens and start getting interested in the other sex again!

valiumredhead Thu 30-Jun-11 12:56:40

At this age it is all 'parallel play' don't worry smile It's not until much later thay start 'playing together.'

itisnearlysummer Thu 30-Jun-11 14:34:14

Just to add my voice to the others, children play alongside other children long before they play together.

At 16 mo, your DD is perfectly normal.

bubblecoral Thu 30-Jun-11 15:45:51

She is completely normal. If you are worried, look up the EYFS and see what things they should be doing by that age, or any other information on child development.

PrettyMeerkat Thu 30-Jun-11 16:26:32

No it's not unusual. They play near each other, not with each other at that age.

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