Talk

Advanced search

Would you have just you,dp and both parents only at the top table of your wedding?because

(28 Posts)
hearcomesthesummerrain Wed 29-Jun-11 13:43:26

We would then have to have his best man(brother),his wife their two kids and our two kids.

That is why I would just have parents what would you do?.

itisnearlysummer Wed 29-Jun-11 13:45:54

why would you have to have the best man and his entire family?

My DH has been a best man twice this year and on both times he sat at the top table and we (me and DCs) sat with other people. Wasn't a problem for any of us.

diddl Wed 29-Jun-11 13:48:12

Both our best man & bridesmaid had families & they sat with the other guests.

Isn´t that what usually happens?

Lizcat Wed 29-Jun-11 13:48:58

DH and I did not want a top table at our wedding, we wanted to sit with our friends. Unfortunately his parents managed to engineer a top table and we had to sit with them sad.

mollymole Wed 29-Jun-11 13:49:11

your wedding , your choice - do not justify it, just say this is the way it is going to be and there will be no further discussion

also - not usual to have best mans family on top table anyone - just best man and usually chief bridesmaid - the rest of them seated elsewhere

hearcomesthesummerrain Wed 29-Jun-11 13:50:57

Only because my dp was his bestman at his wedding and as his girlfriend my sil sat me on the top table,although neither of us had kids then.

I just dont want her to feel left out and cause bad feelings,should I still have my bridemaids at tt?.

MorticiaAddams Wed 29-Jun-11 13:51:21

We had the best man and the bridesmaids at the top table and their families sat with other people.

It's your wedding but won't it seem odd doing his best man speech from somewhere other than next to the groom>

hearcomesthesummerrain Wed 29-Jun-11 13:51:52

Or just go with my idea originally?

jester68 Wed 29-Jun-11 13:52:14

When my eldest brother got married at top table he had parents, bridesmaids and best men. Everyone else sat witht he other guests otherwise it would have had to have been one huge table

hearcomesthesummerrain Wed 29-Jun-11 13:52:22

We are not doing speeches,

defineme Wed 29-Jun-11 13:53:02

I sat best man (also bil) on top table so also had his girlfriend too, my best friend was only adult bridesmaid and I put her dh on the top table with us too-would have hated anyone to feel lonely! Also had brother and my sil because I have no dad. Never occurred to me to not do what I wanted and they were the people giving speeches and/or closest family.
We do laugh with bf's dh that he was on our top table-we did realsise in retrospect it was unusual!

catgirl1976 Wed 29-Jun-11 13:53:27

You do not need the Best Mans family

Just you and DH. Both sets of parents, Best Man and Chief Bridesmaid (other bridesmaids if you wish but usually only if adults)

Family of Best Man and Bridesmaids sit separate

Stick either to protocol or to what you would prefer - don't feel you must match what they did

itisnearlysummer Wed 29-Jun-11 13:54:06

Best man, bridesmaids, parents. I think that, and variations of that, is pretty standard.

You don't need to include families.

Do what you want, not to repay them. They did what they wanted.

Inertia Wed 29-Jun-11 13:54:41

I'd have bride, groom, parents, best man, bridesmaid on top table. Possibly with your children as well, depending on how old they, who would look after them if they're not sat with you.

Best man's wife and children on another table with someone you know. I've never known best man's wife/family sit on the top table with the best man.

sausagesandmarmelade Wed 29-Jun-11 13:55:01

I think you have found the right solution to avoid an overly crowded top table.

You could sit the BM with his family on another table...they would probably be happier being seated together.

When it comes to the speech...someone could make way for the BM to stand at the top table.

sausagesandmarmelade Wed 29-Jun-11 13:57:44

We had a policy at our wedding not to split couples/partners up.

We actually had the BM and his newish GF up at the top table...and kept the bridesmaids with their families. Hubs had recently lost his father, so to make the mother feel more comfortable we moved his sister and her family (who was also one of our bridesmaids) up to the top table.

Worked for us...and them.

We think people are more important than any kind of etiquette rules!

whysolate Wed 29-Jun-11 14:00:42

You do what you want. Your wedding, your rules! smile

MadYoungCatLady Wed 29-Jun-11 14:03:04

Its your day - its what you and DP want - to hell with etiquette! If you just want the parents on the top table, fine! If you want it to be you two and snow white and the seven dwarves, also fine!
Where would best man feel happier - on a table with his family or seperated from them on the top table? Ask him - explain you do not have enough room on tt for the whole family (obviously this is such a shame blah blah blah) but would like them to be on table number one instead (that seems to make people feel slightly more special than other guests - can't say as I understand why, they are all blinking tables! Every table could be number one ;) ) and wondered if he would be happier there?
Don't worry yourself with "they did it, so we have to do it too" - are you having the same first dance? The same gift list? The same colour scheme?
And if etiquette at wedddings is important to you remember - they are the ones who broke with tradition by putting you on the tt.
You get this day once - do it yor way! Good luck for the upcoming nuptials!

27tilly Wed 29-Jun-11 14:04:40

We has both sets of parents, Best man, Adult bridesmaid (my sister) That was it

Our children and my sisters children sat with our nan and best mans gf sat with friends.

It worked for us, We also had 3 child bridesmaids (1 was our DD) and 3 pageboys (our DS and my 2 nephews) but they were up and down like bloody yo yo's so it worked them sitting with the guests.

exoticfruits Wed 29-Jun-11 14:07:35

Just choose what suits you and don't worry.

hearcomesthesummerrain Wed 29-Jun-11 14:09:05

Thanks 27tilly I think thats a good idea?.

MadYoungCatLady Wed 29-Jun-11 14:09:39

Feeling very jealous of you OP - cant wait to marry my DP but the stupid laws in this country say I have to divorce H first. tsk...

nocake Wed 29-Jun-11 14:09:56

We didn't have a top table, which pretty much solved the problem.

Actually we only had one table...

And no best man...

or bridesmaids.

grin

27tilly Wed 29-Jun-11 14:19:58

It worked for us and everyone else, Kids could do as they please and best mans gf is one of my close friends and she was happy to do whatever we wanted.

There are no ''rules'' who is and isn't at the top table. It's whatever suites you :-)

camdancer Wed 29-Jun-11 14:26:30

We had a table of 6 - me, DH and our parents. Best man sat on another table with his gf and people he knew, bridesmaids same. Everyone including us was on round tables so no formal top table. It worked fine. Do what feels right for you rather than what is the "right" thing.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now