To suspect I may be a tosser

[spiderslegs]

Really,

It's gone too far.

I stayed in a yurt last week.

I don't have a TV.

I am a SAHM.

I breast-fed my youngest until she was 2.7 years old.

But still.

I read the Telegraph & the Spectator.

[madhattershouse]

The papers may save you. No TV and a yurt...you are in danger of being a tosser. Tread carefully. My advice is to get yourself to Greggs for a sausage roll and fruitshoot before it is too late .

[spiderslegs]

Am drinking homemade beer (although from DH's brewery)

Wank.

I'm doomed.

(nibbles pork products to redeem oneself...)

[madhattershouse]

If the said pork product is parma..you've had it!

[giyadas]

Oh dear, it's not looking good is it?
But at least you realise, which can go a long way towards warding off unacceptably offensive tosser-icity.

[madhattershouse]

tosser-icity!!

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

homemade beer?

[spiderslegs]

Arse & wank, wank , wank ,wank, no - the pork is pancetta, fuck, but it is, HOME CURED PORK

[spiderslegs]

& The beer is homemade

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

You may be bordering on slightly wanky, but I don't think you're a tosser

[giraffesCantZumba]

You need to eat one of those billy bear "meat" things that will sort ya out

[thumbwitch]

I know it's a fine point of difference but I agree with Jareth - more wanky than tosser.

Have you woven any lentils or home-brewed yoghurt recently?

[hairfullofsnakes]

I breastfeed my nearly 2 yr old, make homemade sauces and..

I read the daily mail



Isn't reading that paper the biggest sin on here?!

[hairfullofsnakes]

How was the yurt by the way?!

[GabbyLoggon]

thius is bizarre but true. Years ago, when I was working, there was a report that an African woman was still breastfeeding her chil;d when it was 27 years old.

[thumbwitch]

maybe that's where David Walliams got his idea for "bitty" from, hmm?

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

Tosser is a bit strong. Middle-class cliche, perhaps?

You're not alone; I'm becoming one too. Which I find weird, and quite amusing, because that's SO not the way I grew up.

Born-again middle-class cliche, that's me.

[Tchootnika]

Euwww, read 2.7 years as '27' just then... It was almost believable, too alongside mention of 'yurt' (can't stand that word...)
OP, you scared me...

[thumbwitch]

Umm, Gabby wrote 27 years old. 2.7yo is barely newsworthy.

[Tchootnika]

It is when set alongside yurts and Telegraph, apparently.
(and curious combination, btw... were you setting out to frighten yurt dwellers with devilish reading material, OP ?)

[jbcbj]

i reckon you are not a tosser just because of the things you mentioned, but you would be if you assumed that those of us who don't live in yurts/brew our own beer (does rhubarb vodka count?)/knit out own pulses and legumes were sub-species.

although if you are modeling the sock/sandal/hairy leg combo i may re-think...

[spiderslegs]

Wanky I can live with - My name's Spiders & I am a bit wanky, ok I can do that.

Yurt was very good - would recommend, am off now to assuage hangover.

Thankfully I will be using conventional methods, tea, chocolate biscuits, paracetamol.

I think that brings me down the wank-scale a bit.

[PippiLongBottom]

Do you wear social worker type shoes? If not, I reckon you're ok.

[spiderslegs]

Bollocks, I just remembered, I commissioned my first piece of art yesterday, a drawing of my daughter's favourite invertebrates for her birthday.

I am off the scale.

May go & shoot myself.

[BulletWithAName]

I'd say you were a bit poncy, but not a tosser- you're not that bad!

[beamel]

I don't know what a yurt is [thicky emoticon].
Does that make me more or less of a tosser ?