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To suspect I may be a tosser

(53 Posts)
spiderslegs Wed 29-Jun-11 01:42:46

Really,

It's gone too far.

I stayed in a yurt last week.

I don't have a TV.

I am a SAHM.

I breast-fed my youngest until she was 2.7 years old.

But still.

I read the Telegraph & the Spectator.

madhattershouse Wed 29-Jun-11 01:49:02

The papers may save you. No TV and a yurt...you are in danger of being a tosser. Tread carefully. My advice is to get yourself to Greggs for a sausage roll and fruitshoot before it is too late grin.

spiderslegs Wed 29-Jun-11 01:53:42

Am drinking homemade beer (although from DH's brewery)

Wank.

I'm doomed.

(nibbles pork products to redeem oneself...)

madhattershouse Wed 29-Jun-11 01:55:58

If the said pork product is parma..you've had it!

giyadas Wed 29-Jun-11 01:58:47

Oh dear, it's not looking good is it? sad
But at least you realise, which can go a long way towards warding off unacceptably offensive tosser-icity. grin

madhattershouse Wed 29-Jun-11 02:02:51

tosser-icitygrin!!

JarethTheGoblinKing Wed 29-Jun-11 02:08:35

homemade beer? grin

spiderslegs Wed 29-Jun-11 02:13:01

Arse & wank, wank , wank ,wank, no - the pork is pancetta, fuck, but it is, HOME CURED PORK

spiderslegs Wed 29-Jun-11 02:13:33

& The beer is homemade

JarethTheGoblinKing Wed 29-Jun-11 02:14:45

You may be bordering on slightly wanky, but I don't think you're a tosser grin

giraffesCantZumba Wed 29-Jun-11 03:41:32

You need to eat one of those billy bear "meat" things that will sort ya out

thumbwitch Wed 29-Jun-11 03:55:39

I know it's a fine point of difference but I agree with Jareth - more wanky than tosser. grin

Have you woven any lentils or home-brewed yoghurt recently? wink

hairfullofsnakes Wed 29-Jun-11 05:37:45

I breastfeed my nearly 2 yr old, make homemade sauces and..

I read the daily mail shock

Isn't reading that paper the biggest sin on here?!

hairfullofsnakes Wed 29-Jun-11 05:38:35

How was the yurt by the way?!

GabbyLoggon Wed 29-Jun-11 10:19:36

thius is bizarre but true. Years ago, when I was working, there was a report that an African woman was still breastfeeding her chil;d when it was 27 years old.

thumbwitch Wed 29-Jun-11 10:27:30

maybe that's where David Walliams got his idea for "bitty" from, hmm?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 29-Jun-11 10:30:52

Tosser is a bit strong. Middle-class cliche, perhaps?

You're not alone; I'm becoming one too. Which I find weird, and quite amusing, because that's SO not the way I grew up.

Born-again middle-class cliche, that's me.

Tchootnika Wed 29-Jun-11 10:35:43

shock
Euwww, read 2.7 years as '27' just then... It was almost believable, too alongside mention of 'yurt' (can't stand that word...)
OP, you scared me...

thumbwitch Wed 29-Jun-11 10:38:40

Umm, Gabby wrote 27 years old. 2.7yo is barely newsworthy.

Tchootnika Wed 29-Jun-11 10:42:42

It is when set alongside yurts and Telegraph, apparently.
(and curious combination, btw... were you setting out to frighten yurt dwellers with devilish reading material, OP ?)

jbcbj Wed 29-Jun-11 10:45:52

i reckon you are not a tosser just because of the things you mentioned, but you would be if you assumed that those of us who don't live in yurts/brew our own beer (does rhubarb vodka count?)/knit out own pulses and legumes were sub-species.

although if you are modeling the sock/sandal/hairy leg combo i may re-think...grin

spiderslegs Wed 29-Jun-11 11:02:02

Wanky I can live with - My name's Spiders & I am a bit wanky, ok I can do that.

Yurt was very good - would recommend, am off now to assuage hangover.

Thankfully I will be using conventional methods, tea, chocolate biscuits, paracetamol.

I think that brings me down the wank-scale a bit.

PippiLongBottom Wed 29-Jun-11 11:04:53

Do you wear social worker type shoes? If not, I reckon you're ok.

spiderslegs Wed 29-Jun-11 11:06:44

Bollocks, I just remembered, I commissioned my first piece of art yesterday, a drawing of my daughter's favourite invertebrates for her birthday.

I am off the scale.

May go & shoot myself.

BulletWithAName Wed 29-Jun-11 11:09:25

I'd say you were a bit poncy, but not a tosser- you're not that bad! grin

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