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.. to be absolutely effing fuming that dh has been checking my emails remotely through his iphone?

(48 Posts)
ChardonnayGirl2 Tue 28-Jun-11 18:31:13

We have a family email account, the one that all main email goes to. Its dh's birthday this weekend - a big one. I have ordered from a party supplies firm some odds and sods for the party - plus a massive banner to hang from the house.

I checked my emails today and several of them were unopened, but in a paler shade of grey IFYKWIM ?

As well as the party one he has opened one from 'Paul', which is a request to go to a reunion from Friends Reunited - I dont even know this guy! hmm

I'm really pissed off. By snooping he has ruined a surprise for his birthday, and more importantly, doubted my trustworthyness (!) by reading a totally innocent email from this bloke who I dont even remember.

He is out tonight so I cant discuss it. I am so pissed off with him, its probably a good thing....

icooksocks Tue 28-Jun-11 18:32:57

Are you absolutely sure he's been checking your emails?????

Portofino Tue 28-Jun-11 18:33:06

If it is a family account, why should he not check it? I access our family account via my phone. If I wanted to do something secretly I have a gmail account that dh doesn't see.

Vicky2011 Tue 28-Jun-11 18:33:07

YABU - to expect privacy when you share an email account. Get Gmail or something then its a much bigger deal to read someone else's email. I can quite see how this could have happened over a shared email account

LaurieFairyCake Tue 28-Jun-11 18:34:03

But you don't even know why yet confused - is there trust problems between you?

No man is going to notice party balloon stuff and link it to him (my dh wouldn't notice if a giant parcel arrived with Party Stuff in giant letters on it)

thisisyesterday Tue 28-Jun-11 18:34:30


you have a family e-mail account and you are annoyed that he has looked in it??

of course you're being unreasonable! why on earth would you order anything using an account he has access to?

if you want a private account then open one... he has just as much right to look at e-mails in the "family" account as anyone else

FaffTastic Tue 28-Jun-11 18:34:40

At this stage YABU. How do you even know he's read them or accessed them remotely. You could be jumping to totally the wrong conclusion.

If you are right and he has then, YANBU

thisisyesterday Tue 28-Jun-11 18:35:19

how is he "snooping" if it is his OWN e-mail account>

really, you're bonkers

WidowWadman Tue 28-Jun-11 18:36:12

If you were planninmg a surprise you're an idiot to use the family account for this. Don't even understand why you would have one in the first place.

ChardonnayGirl2 Tue 28-Jun-11 18:36:33

Its historically a 'family' account, but he never uses it, he's got his own, so has no need to check 'mine'. Plus, if he saw an email from a party company 3 days before his 40th I would like to think he'd just ignore it, knowing that its probably something to do with his party sad

FaffTastic Tue 28-Jun-11 18:36:46

To add to my above post you are only not unreasonable if it was your private account that he accessed not the shared one. Still think you're jumping to conclusions though based on your OP

AttillaTheMum Tue 28-Jun-11 18:36:56

I think YABU. It is a family account.

If you posted that your DH was fuming about you checking his emails I think he would get short shrift.

thisisyesterday Tue 28-Jun-11 18:37:05

well i would suggest you get your own e-mail account now then.

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots Tue 28-Jun-11 18:37:54

But he wasn't snooping if it's a family, ie, shared, email account. Why would he not check it on his iPhone? If he chooses to spoil his own surprise then so be it.

The obvious answer is to get your own email address. But tbh if I was him, And I'd seen the email from "Paul" that you will deny all knowledge of, and then you open your own account, I would be very suspicious.


squeakytoy Tue 28-Jun-11 18:38:00

it is not YOUR email account, it is a "family" account... so you are being rather OTT... get your own private account and use that..

How would he know the email from "paul" was specifically for you until he opened it? It could have been for anyone in the family if this is a joint account..

FaffTastic Tue 28-Jun-11 18:38:33

Just realised it was the family account he accessed. You are being totally out of order and should have used your private email. Plus you don't know that he actually read them yet. YABVVVVU

amothersplaceisinthewrong Tue 28-Jun-11 18:39:08

Get your own email account if you want privacy!

eurochick Tue 28-Jun-11 18:41:03

YABU. It was a shared account.

JamieAgain Tue 28-Jun-11 18:42:35

We've got separate gmail accounts but both check each others. If I want to hide anything I just put it into the Junk Mail folder where no-one looks. I don't think either of us feels the need for privacy.

ChardonnayGirl2 Tue 28-Jun-11 18:43:16

This is my own email account!! (bangs head)!! It was set up with the service provider when we got email, then as because I got so much 'crap' sent to it, fb notifications etc , he got his own account, has had for 3+ years.

He has no need to check it anymore than I have to check his - and I'm not going to open up an email account to order a few paper plates if I think he's not going to check the account, because he hasnt for the last 3 years!

ChardonnayGirl2 Tue 28-Jun-11 18:45:11

oh and the message said 'ChardonnayGirl - you have a message from Paul, so he would have known it was for me.'

Perhaps I should have explained that this is effectively my account and he has his own in the OP....

shineoncrazydiam0nd Tue 28-Jun-11 18:51:51

I think I'd scrap this 'family' email and just get one of your own. Takes ten seconds to set up. I'm not sure you can blame him too much - he obviously has free access to it.

I wouldn't like someone reading my emails though- would be a massive no no from me. but then, I make sure that no one has my password.

Jellykat Tue 28-Jun-11 19:02:23

I can see why you're peed off Chardonnay - but why after 3 years is he suddenly checking the account?.. surely that's the crux of the matter.

Rockerchic Tue 28-Jun-11 19:02:52

I read threads like this and I think how grateful I am to have a DP that doesn't do this.

InTheNightKitchen Tue 28-Jun-11 19:05:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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