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to not mind/notice that my DS calls me by my name instead of Mum sometimes?

(42 Posts)
Ernie01 Tue 28-Jun-11 13:23:28

I honestly hadn't noticed (or when I had, not really thought it signified anything). But have had a lot of people recently saying that they think I shouldn't let him do it because it isn't respectful... Don't really care what other people think, since DS absolutely does respect me and is in fact one of the best behaved and respectful children I know, but just wondered what the gerneral view is?

charliejosh Tue 28-Jun-11 13:24:47

ds does it, usually when step dd's are around. Doesnt bother me or strike me as disrespectful at all.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 28-Jun-11 13:25:41

If it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother you. But, in our house, DS will only occasionally use my first name in a jokey way and, even then, very, very gingerly..... smile

CMOTdibbler Tue 28-Jun-11 13:27:51

My ds does it, and it doesn't bother me. It is my name after all grin
He started when he was 2, and is 5 now

nickelbabe Tue 28-Jun-11 13:29:07

i don't think i'll mind it either - i find it weird when people refer to me as Ms Don, so in theory, i've never been anyone except Andrea IRL.
it will be odd to hear someone call me mummy instead.

MaxSchreck Tue 28-Jun-11 13:29:31

My DD does it a lot, she's 6.
It doesn't bother me at all.

I have asked her why she does it and she says it's because it's my name.

worraliberty Tue 28-Jun-11 13:32:07

I hate that..I love being known as Mum grin

But it does remind me of my brother when he was little.

He kept calling our Mum by her name so she said, "You mustn't do that, it's very rude!"

A few days later the shopkeeper said to him, "How's your Mum these days, I haven't seen her around? What's her name again?"

He shuffled and looked down at his feet before saying "She has a very rude name and I'm not allowed to tell you what it is" grin

inchoccyheaven Tue 28-Jun-11 13:33:00

My nephew has done this for past few years ( he is 7 ) and my sis in law doesn't seem to mind but I wouldn't like it. I don't think it's disrepectful for them to do it.
There are a million people who will call me by my name but only 2 that will ever call me mum and for me that is special.

ajandjjmum Tue 28-Jun-11 13:36:48

When I au-paired many moons ago, the dc called their parents by their Christian names. It had evolved because they were away from family, and only heard the parents talking to each other - the oldest son started using their names and the others followed suit. It didn't bother then at all.

BUT I was quite said when the youngest - four at the time - announced after kindergarten one day that it was very unfair, everyone else had a mum and a dad and he didn't. He also went thru' a phase of calling me Mum, because mums were the people who picked you up from school. sad

julienoshoes Tue 28-Jun-11 13:50:49

My daughters both call me Julie. It's my name, nothing disrespectful about it because I am happy to be called Julie. They introduce me to others as "This is Julie, my mom" Possibly because my step children have always called me Julie, and I try and treat them the same. My son has always called me "Mom". I don't know why he does it differently, as they all have the same upbringing. I really don't mind either, we have a fabulous relationship and they know how much I love them all.

All of them call all of their paternal aunts and uncles by their given names too, as everyone is happy with it. My sister they call 'Auntie D....' because that is what she prefers.
I wouldn't dream calling my mother anything other than mom, she would hate it-and that would be disrespectful. My children call her Grandma, as that is what she likes.

It's nothing to do with anyone else what your children call you. The key is you are all happy with it.

but then I have no intention of ever being called Grandma/Granny/Nanny/Nan etc. I'd hate it and would consider it disrespectful of anyone to try and insist on it and ignoring my wishes.
My step grandchildren call me Julie, because that is my name. Our special relationship doesn't depend on me being called by Grandma.

Children know who is important and who loves them, and it doesn't depend on what they are called.

Jas Tue 28-Jun-11 13:51:53

Both my dds did this until they satrted school - my partner and parents called me by my name, and no one ever called me mum so they never learnt to use it.

My ds always called me mum as he has picked it up from his older sisters.

They all call me by my name now to get my attention if I don't answer to mum!

Ephiny Tue 28-Jun-11 13:55:35

I'd prefer to just be called by my name. Don't see why it would be disrespectful to use someone's given name.

Balconygarden Tue 28-Jun-11 13:57:59

My children have nearly always called me by my first name, and only seem to call me "mum" when they think they haven't caught my attention, e.g. "Balcony, Balcony,....Mum!". I love it actually, I've got quite an unusual first name (and it probably adds to my sense of rebellion not to be called "mum"). I called my parents mum and dad, but DH called his by their first names (he had progressive 1960's parents).

Jaspants Tue 28-Jun-11 13:58:12

If I'm ignoring their whinging or demands busy and haven't heard them, then mine use my first name.

This started from when I told them if we were somewhere busy and lots of DCs were calling "Mum" I may not work out it was them calling me.

cornflakegirl Tue 28-Jun-11 14:05:14

DS1 is 6 and switches between mummy and daddy and our names for DH and I. He has done for several years. I always refer to DH as daddy when I'm talking to him, but we spend a lot of time with friends whose children call us by our names, which is probably where it started. We've never discouraged him from doing it, but don't encourage it either - it's just a non-issue.

It was quite amusing though last year when he was in Reception - I'd dropped him of and forgot to take his scooter with me. Cue him and his teacher shouting after me - her shouting "Mum" and him shouting my name...

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 28-Jun-11 14:06:10

There is someone in my family that tried to insist her grandchildren could not use any of the normal terms for 'grandmother' because that was only for old ladies. She's sixty-something. Puh-lease....

piratecat Tue 28-Jun-11 14:07:52

it's how you feel about it that matters.

my dd calls me Ian, (has watched too much Hacker the Dog on Cbbc!)

thisisyesterday Tue 28-Jun-11 14:10:00

ernie01, i could've written your post myself!

ds1 calls me and dp by our first names and has done for ages. his reasoning? it's what everyone else calls us, and they're our names! which is so true

nothing to do with lack of respect at all.

his younger brothers do it now too because i guess that's what they've grown up hearing. sometimes I wish i was a "mummy" now and then, but most of the time i don't even notice.

only problem we have is out and about and at school when people think i am not his mum grin

gotolder Tue 28-Jun-11 14:26:53

My children always called me Mum: my problem was that all of their friends did as well!

The only difficulty arose when we were all out together; me and up to ,maybe, as many as ten children of all ages and races calling me Mum: people can be very judgementalgrin.

superjobeespecs Tue 28-Jun-11 14:44:07

DD has called me my christian name occasionally and she's 6 more because i can tune her out if she's saying mum mummy but my name isnt specificaly (sp!!) linked to her.

funnily enough tho when im out and about and ppl shout super i never notice but if they go muuuuuum i do? madness hmm

GinSlinger Tue 28-Jun-11 15:15:23

My DS started calling me by my name when he was a teenager but he uses Mum when he talks to me on the phone or if he writes a note -

x2boys Tue 28-Jun-11 16:25:11

my 4 yo old does this occasionally but seems to think its funny i just says its mummy to you and he laughs most of the time he calls me mummy

ScarletOHaHa Tue 28-Jun-11 17:29:56

Same as x2boys with my 4 yo. Don't mind being called by my first name by other people's kids. If parents would rather Auntie Scarlet, that is fine too.

JamieAgain Tue 28-Jun-11 17:32:38

How old is your child?

Lots of children do this when they start to hear others calling you by your name so of course it seems natural for them to do so.

i must say, when mine did it for a bit, i missed Mum

BluddyMoFo Tue 28-Jun-11 17:34:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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