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to slap my teenaged daughter?

(221 Posts)
DogsBestFriend Tue 28-Jun-11 11:26:51

Excuse me whilst I seethe.

It was 16yo DDs last GCSE this morning at school a couple of villages away. She'd already tried the "School doesn't want us there, says we can't stop there" trick and I'd pointed out that this was bullshit unfortunate and that she would have to wait until 3.30pm to get the school bus home.

So, at 11am she gives me heart palpitations by leaving a "Call me! NOW!" message on 0800 reverse - she's got no credit left for emergencies on her mobile of course. She tells me that she's left school and is walking home (along dangerous A and B roads without pavements). I tell her to get her arse back into school! Madam argues that she doesn't want to be stuck there on her own.

I call the school to confirm that they're happy for her to remain until 3.30pm. Call madam back to say that school suggest the library and use the PCs, you have money, soon it will be lunchtime anyway, it's only 4.5 hours. Nope, she's going to call her father on 0800 reverse (who does sod all and will tell her to piss off). Failing that she's - get this - going to call her friend's Dad, who lives further away than we do and who she knows to be struggling for money, and ask him, as "The two people who should be doing this for me and caring for me won't".

She's right on one of them... but WTF am I supposed to do? Fashion transport for her out of a lawnmower and a few bits of wood? angry

Her Prom is very much at risk of going ahead without her on Friday, that's for sure. Otherwise, can I slap her please?

grin <<only half joking>>

Flisspaps Tue 28-Jun-11 11:28:16

I'd be telling her if she doesn't get her arse back into school pronto, there will certainly be no Prom on Friday.

Riveninside Tue 28-Jun-11 11:29:17

some teenage girls are remarkably self centered and selfish.

itisnearlysummer Tue 28-Jun-11 11:29:20

Let her prom go ahead without her if she doesn't return to school and does make that call.

If she is not mature enough to realise that is inappropriate she's not mature enough for a prom and all that.

Don't slap her though, I'm sure she will know her rights grin

PfftTheMagicDragon Tue 28-Jun-11 11:31:14

Back to school or no prom. And if she talks to you in such a manner again, no prom. Stick to it.

But really, of course you shouldn't slap her.

Shoesytwoesy Tue 28-Jun-11 11:31:29

well, I have to say I kind of understand her wanting to leave, I imagine all her friends have.

Animation Tue 28-Jun-11 11:31:58

You hade me going there. I thought you HAD slapped her!

No, not OK to slap. She's just being a teenager.

worraliberty Tue 28-Jun-11 11:32:18

I actually do feel for her.

Could you or her not have arranged a lift home? It would drive me nuts hanging around a school like that once my exam was over.

itisnearlysummer Tue 28-Jun-11 11:33:49

Maybe shoesy, but understanding what she wants and why isn't the same thing as she should be able to do/have what she wants and when. It's not how the world works.

LaWeasel Tue 28-Jun-11 11:35:20

I do feel a bit bad that she had to stay. Could she not have had a lift with a friend, or is there noone nearby she could spend the afternoon with? And is the road home that dangerous? (if it's got footpaths and she's got a key I'd let her)

Although obviously she is being very rude saying she'll ring others etc.

mumblechum1 Tue 28-Jun-11 11:35:26

I don't see why she couldn't have walked home tbh.

I work p/t so haven't been around to take ds to about half of his GCSEs so he's just got on his bike to do them rather than hang around in school for 7 hours for a one hour exam. (10 mile round trip).

Were you at work, so unable to give her a lift?

SusanneLinder Tue 28-Jun-11 11:35:30

I wouldn't have expected my teenage daughter to hang about school after her last exam. Sorry, I think YABU, and def don't slap her.

Did you not discuss at what time the exam finished and when she was to be home?

LaWeasel Tue 28-Jun-11 11:36:56

If she's 16 and in walking distance from home it is cruel and not fair to make her stay.

PfftTheMagicDragon Tue 28-Jun-11 11:37:28

Yes, she could have walked home. But that doesn't excuse the rudeness, and her behaviour.

How far is it home?

DogsBestFriend Tue 28-Jun-11 11:37:55

I'm without transport AND working, so unable to give her a lift!

There is no-one else locally who could help apart from her FTOAFWF (Fucking Twat Of A Feckless Wanky Father). grin

It's life... it's 4.5 hours, some of which will be spent eating lunch... she'll bloody well have to live with it!

tazmin Tue 28-Jun-11 11:38:11

i wouldnt want to hang round for hours either

i think you are being pretty unreasonable

hairylights Tue 28-Jun-11 11:38:32

Is there a reason you were unable
to pick her up after her exam?

Walking home surely isn't that dangerous?

Animation Tue 28-Jun-11 11:38:59

She should be able to walk home at 16 years old!

TechLovingDad Tue 28-Jun-11 11:40:11

It's cruel to make her stay? Really?

chubsasaurus Tue 28-Jun-11 11:40:14

She's 16. Why can't she walk home?

DogsBestFriend Tue 28-Jun-11 11:40:43

Oh, and yes, the roads are dangerous - semi rural area, lots of road narrowing and twists and, as I said, no pavement for 90% of the route.

LaWeasel Tue 28-Jun-11 11:41:12

Can we have a rundown of the route home?

I used to walk three miles home over an A-road and along country roads with no paths if no one got me from my train.

Obviously that's not a great daily option, but it's a one of - she's 16, surely she's capable of crossing the road?

(If not being gracious about things she doesn't agree with - and she is absolutely being difficult and vile)

LaWeasel Tue 28-Jun-11 11:42:17

x-post.

So similar to what I used to do.

PfftTheMagicDragon Tue 28-Jun-11 11:42:24

But she is 16. She can do so many things. I would think that she is capable of navigating a dangerous road alone. If not at 16, when? I think you are being over protective.

Still, I don't think she should have spoken to you the way that she did.

MmeLindor. Tue 28-Jun-11 11:42:44

How far would she have to walk home? I walk along A and B roads without pavements and would be ok with a 16yo doing it too.

She is being cheeky and unreasonable and a typical teenager but perhaps she is excited about having finished her GCSEs (and good on her for doing that) and some of her friends are meeting somewhere.

Have you asked her what her friends are doing?

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