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to think he shouldn't have had a serious strop at this? - A bit sexual, sorry!

(206 Posts)
YodelOdelTee Tue 28-Jun-11 11:14:31

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons smile I am a regular - I remember pirate sex, lavender, judge and the MN bat and that the special word for spiders is LOOOOOFAH'S ha ha ha ha!!!

I have been having casual sex with a man for little under 12 months. No feelings are involved, just sex and a friendship. We go back 10 years to when our friendship began but have only ever been friends, or now more recently friends and fuck buddies.

He has some mental issues, depression is one. During intercourse he goes soft so I give him oral as he stays erect for that and we play around, but lately he is very selfish and it mostly consists of me giving a bj but nothing for me angry.

So this morning, Steve and I were on messenger just chatting and joking around and the conversation went like this;

S - So if you're not busy today how about you come and suck on my lollipop

Me - Sounds good, but what do I get in return? (hoping he'd say something along the lines of he'd perform oral sex or at least play with me.)

S - My company and a cup of tea

Me - You can't buy me with tea and biscuits, i'm not a prostitute! Ha ha ha (insert smiley emoticon)

And from that moment on it all kicked off. He accused me of only thinking that he's using me for sex and that all along i've thought that he only thinks of me as easy sex etc etc. He's refusing to speak to me now and has sent a few emails which basically say how low I think of him and our friendship. Did I do something wrong?

LaWeasel Tue 28-Jun-11 11:16:35

YANBU.

Any kind of sexual relationship should go both ways, and failing to live up to that is not good enough behaviour.

Rockerchic Tue 28-Jun-11 11:17:37

No you did nothing wrong, he's in the wrong here, maybe he thinks more if you than you think and "fuck buddies" isn't working for him anymore.
Just a thought

worraliberty Tue 28-Jun-11 11:17:58

I'm confused? Surely you use each other for easy sex and you're both honest about that?

It might need spelling out to him that he's become selfish in bed.

Rockerchic Tue 28-Jun-11 11:18:35

Sucking his lollipop <boak>

fatlazymummy Tue 28-Jun-11 11:18:49

If it's cas.ual then it should be easy to end it. No obligations either way

Rockerchic Tue 28-Jun-11 11:19:48

I'm not having a go but do you usually conduct your " relationship" on MSN

Georgimama Tue 28-Jun-11 11:20:00

No you didn't do anything wrong. I thought the purpose of a fuck buddy was that you didn't get all this sort of grief. Does he want you to wash his socks next?

If this sexual relationship doesn't work for you, end it (or at least end the sex side of it).

Rockerchic Tue 28-Jun-11 11:20:32

I agree with lazymummy

YodelOdelTee Tue 28-Jun-11 11:20:51

It's not the fact that he's selfish in bed. I can sort that one out but the fact he's kicked off about our conversation and me saying i'm not a hooker.

Rockerchic, do you think he wants more than sex, like a relationship, or just to be friends without the sex?

AnyFucker Tue 28-Jun-11 11:20:56

Don't bother trying to analyse this

Your free and easy fuck-buddy relationship is clearly over

what a pity it had to end with bad feelings, but hey-ho, that's how it goes

why would you carry on sucking the dick of someone so selfish anyway ?

lucky escape for you, I reckon

next !

spookshowangel Tue 28-Jun-11 11:21:15

i would ignore until he wises up op he is projecting his own thoughts on to you. he has obviously been thinking this to some degree or other himself otherwise he wouldnt have had such a massive and out of context reaction. let him see he is being childish without being drawn in to a dramatic argument which is obviously what he wants so he can make you the bad guy. doesnt sound like you will be losing out on much if it doesnt continue. you need to find someone that will lay you good grin

tazmin Tue 28-Jun-11 11:22:16

dont understand this bit

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons smile I am a regular - I remember pirate sex, lavender, judge and the MN bat and that the special word for spiders is LOOOOOFAH'S ha ha ha ha!!!

does a newbie only get a certain amount of replies, or the quality of the replies is lower???

fedupofnamechanging Tue 28-Jun-11 11:22:28

He has over reacted. Tbh he sounds a bit too much like hard work for a 'relationship' where no feelings are involved. If this is going to be a purely sexual involvement, then he needs to be making sure you get something out of it too, or what's the point.

In a 'real' (for want of a better word) relationship, you might give more on some occasions and receive more on others, but it should all even itself out in the end.

YodelOdelTee Tue 28-Jun-11 11:23:54

tazmin, I wrote that because threads of a sexual nature tend to get 'troll' shouted at them.

Georgimama Tue 28-Jun-11 11:24:02

Perhaps he has been secretly harbouring a wish the relationship would develop into a "proper" one, or perhaps he hasn't but nonetheless has some secret hangups about a woman being happy to have a sexual relationship on these terms. Either way it isn't working any more so it's time to stop.

The only person who can tell you whether he wants to step things up a gear or cool back into a conventional friendship is him.

meltedchocolate Tue 28-Jun-11 11:24:32

I think you are both wrong. Why are you both getting upset with each other when this is clearly what you signed up for? Seems daft.

spookshowangel Tue 28-Jun-11 11:24:35

tazmin i assume its to prove she is not a troll none of that means anything to me either.

YodelOdelTee Tue 28-Jun-11 11:25:38

spookshowangel - lay me good - that's a great phrase!!!

Morloth Tue 28-Jun-11 11:26:35

I thought easy sex was the point of the fuck buddy arrangement.

Rockerchic Tue 28-Jun-11 11:28:18

Yodel by what you said I think he probably wants more. I maybe wrong but I've been there before and the man in question sounds like yours and he wanted a relationship, I didn't so I walked away. He sounds like this if I'm honest.

Boys2mam Tue 28-Jun-11 11:28:25

Sounds to me like you've hit a nerve with him and his overreaction is defensive.

YANBU though.

YodelOdelTee Tue 28-Jun-11 11:28:26

because I think I have feelings for him meltedchocolate. I think that's why i'm so upset over his reaction, but he's not boyfriend material at all, not in the slightest. Not least becuase of his reactions like this one. It'd be like walking on egg shells constantly and I don't do eggs grin This isn't the first OTT reaction to something i've said.

GetOrf Tue 28-Jun-11 11:29:07

I am just going to change my name to IagreewithAnyFucker and be done with it.

Will save us all time grin

Next!

AnyFucker Tue 28-Jun-11 11:29:15

I thought FB arrangements were supposed to be about "good sex" too

this man is rubbish

bin him

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