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not going to my mums birthday weekend

(7 Posts)
Casxy Mon 27-Jun-11 17:50:29

I am starting a new job on 1 September - commuting to London, after being part-time and a studnet for six years. Before then I have to finish writing up my thesis (30000 words to go). It is going to be a rush. I've planned the next couple of months qute carefully to try to get this done, eg cancelling trips, getting the children's holidays sorted without me going etc.

My mother is *0 at the end of the holiday. We talked earlier on the summer and I didnt think she was going to celebrate in a big way. Now my siblings have got together and planned a weekend get-together in north France for the august bank holiday which is the weekend before my work starts (5/6 hour drive).

It is the sort of thing I would normally consider 3 line whip BUT my elder two teenagers are away on holiday anyway, its my younger son's birthday, and I really wanted either a calm weekend either getting ready for the job and the new school year or working on the thesis. DH has already his canceled his regular September weekend away to help us get in to the new routine.

My family is clearly surprised I am not saying yes - they seem to be waiting for me to change my mind. AIBU?

pranma Mon 27-Jun-11 18:06:40

you are a bit I think it's not can't go it's just not really convenient.I'd have been gutted if any of mine hadnt come to my 60th when we rented a big house,had caterers and a great weekend was had by all.My ds lives in Turkey and was working but he sent a video to be played at the party.It's once every 10years-it matters.

Sewmuchtodo Mon 27-Jun-11 18:15:41

I don't think you are, something like that would normaly have a bit more notice.

pranma "It's once every 10years-it matters"
It's only once every 10yrs for that person.....last year my DS was 30, DH was 40, DMIL was 70. This year DP's are married 50yrs, DF is 70, DN is 21. Next year I am 30, DB is 40, as is DBIL.

We live a distance from most and simply have to pick and choose as that is 9 big events (a mix of weekends, parties etc) and not to forget DS's wedding + hen/stag etc.

chocolatehobnobs Mon 27-Jun-11 18:15:42

YANBU, they should have asked you what you thought before presenting it as a done deal. Could they do if a little later to give you time to get your work sorted? Otherwise they should have a lovely time without you.

Flisspaps Mon 27-Jun-11 18:24:19

YANBU.

Verin Mon 27-Jun-11 18:29:18

YANBU

AuntiePickleBottom Mon 27-Jun-11 19:08:28

yanbu, they should of discussed with you the big trip before they commited to it.

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