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to no longer expect anything from either of the fathers of my children.

(6 Posts)
slightlyunbalanced Mon 27-Jun-11 17:14:00

Need to rant really - not about the ex I usually rant about either.

Father of my youngest DC has recently split with his wife (who he started seeing while I was pg and was the reason for me kicking him out - this is all 10 yrs ago and water under the bridge but don't want to be accused of stealth).

They have one DC. They split a while ago but he has only just told me (I am hoping they will get back together as DC has always known his step-mum and it was a very stable set up for him).

He has paid the same amount of maintenance for 10 years (£40 a week), he collects my DC from school twice a month on the two weekends he has him. Today I get a text asking if I can do it this Fri. I'm like no I'm sorry I can't as I am at work until 5.30 (as I know I am not picking him up from school as this is a long standing arrangement) and I also had to take a day off last week as DC was ill.

So he has now basically said hes not doing it anymore and I will have to sort something else out so he can pick him up at 5 otherwise he won't have him till Sat morning, and if I want maintenance I will need to go to the CSA shock. He is normally ok and am wondering if he is just taking his frustrations with his marital situation out on me.

AIBU to think that if he can no longer do this then he should be making the alternate arrangements rather than me taking yet more time from my own job (which supports his son). When technically this is "his" weekend and therefore DS is his responsibility.

Feel sad that I have to battle both the fathers of my kids ti do ANYTHING and what they don't choose to do I have no choice but to do. AIBU to want a career too? Argh.....

worraliberty Mon 27-Jun-11 17:17:55

YANBU but on the other hand, as the resident parent I'd say it will fall down to you to sort the Friday after school care...especially if he decides to see your DS on a Saturday from now on.

As for the CSA, well that could be frustration. It tends to be the first thing they use to 'bargain' with sad

slightlyunbalanced Mon 27-Jun-11 17:33:26

May have been a bit hasty in my rant - have just recieved a text saying he has arranged to go into work earlier so he can still do it - phew. Feel like a bitch now.

Wow I actually "won" one!! grin

tallulahxhunny Mon 27-Jun-11 17:52:36

grin and here was me gonna say kick his ass!!

i know that wouldnt have helped you in either situation but i bet you would feel better after it grin

Tyr Mon 27-Jun-11 18:05:16

I'm glad you got this sorted and, FWIW, I think you are to be commended for your child centred attitude to the step mum.
I hope he will be similarly reasonable about the maintenance.

slightlyunbalanced Mon 27-Jun-11 19:13:20

Ah thanks - there came a point where I thought you know what - you are welcome to him grin they were much more suited to each other than he and I and we would never have made each other happy. They seemed to have a really happy setup for a while - very sad it hasn't worked out for both the kids.

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