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AIBU or is my DH ?

(77 Posts)
FullSummer Sun 26-Jun-11 22:59:48

10.45 On a Sunday evening:

I am preparing lessons for tomorrow. Made sure DD had shower/washed hair by 9 and asked her to go to bed then.

10.30 DD and DH are still listening to a loud live concert. It disturbs my lesson prep and I know for a fact that family next door with two young children are disturbed if we play loud music. Mum next door is lovely, does not get enough sleep. I have told DH this many times. But, he persists in playing loud music at the time our DDs and DCs next door need to go to bed.

If I ever ask him to tunr down music because children don't sleep he says ' yes they can' that's it. No discussion or consideration of others. This evening hen I said DDneeded to go to bed as she had school tomorrow he said 'so what, you're a Victoran'

Loud music is fine.Just not after 9 if you have children in your house and next door. Especially if school next day. AIBU and unreasonable ?

Omigawd Sun 26-Jun-11 23:01:58

How old is DD?

winnybella Sun 26-Jun-11 23:02:19

HIBU. And a bit twattish, tbh. Does he always ignore your opinions? That, and the commonly accepted rules of being a part of society hmm

AnyFucker Sun 26-Jun-11 23:02:35

Just unplug it

He is BU, un-neighbourly and an arrogant tosser

He isn't the boss, even if he thinks he is

Dozer Sun 26-Jun-11 23:04:27

Yanbu, agree with others.

Tryharder Sun 26-Jun-11 23:04:56

He sounds like a teenager. Tell him to buy himself some headphones if he wants to listen to loud music.

Jemma1111 Sun 26-Jun-11 23:06:20

YANBU - He sounds a right inconsiderate knob

GreenEyesandHam Sun 26-Jun-11 23:06:25

Ugh he isn't one of those 'trendy hip dads' is he, trying to be down with the kids?

Regardless YANBU, and he sounds like a thoughtless, ill mannered pillock. No offence

FullSummer Sun 26-Jun-11 23:08:29

DD is 11, so not little. But does need to go to bed by 9.30 ish if school next day. I think. Or am I being Victorian ? DH has had the chance to play loud music all weekend. Why do it at bedtime ? Or AIBU ?

beechbabe Sun 26-Jun-11 23:12:05

I had one of those, sad music playing right through the early hours in a little house while DD1 tried to do GCSE's. No amount of trying to rationalise worked.

Gone now, thank God, with some struggle..

manticlimactic Sun 26-Jun-11 23:12:47

So respecting your neighbours and wanting your child to get a decent nights sleep before school the next day is Victorian-esque? Tell him if he wants to play loud music late then buy some headphones.

I concur with jemma. Inconsiderate knob.

MummyTigger Sun 26-Jun-11 23:13:23

Same rule applies in my household - my DBrother (10) has to be in his bedroom (on school nights) by half eight. Has to be in bed by half nine. Has to have his nightly DVD turned off by ten. He'll then sleep soundly straight through until seven in the morning, when mum gets him up before she goes to work. Kids need strict bedtimes, otherwise they'll just take the mickey and they won't be any use in school the next day.

Vicky2011 Sun 26-Jun-11 23:15:10

No you're not being Victorian, you're being responsible and considerate.

He is being the exact opposite of those things.

winnybella Sun 26-Jun-11 23:15:17

9.30 ish seems a reasonable time for a 11yo on a school night.

Victorian hmm

FullSummer Sun 26-Jun-11 23:15:31

Thanks all.
He's still playing the music now. If I say anything he shouts at me. He has had the whole weekend to play music.

ChaoticAngelinLimbo Sun 26-Jun-11 23:16:42

YANBU Your DH sounds like the neighbour from hell, inconsiderate, selfish twat.

MummyTigger Sun 26-Jun-11 23:17:11

Un-fucking-plug it. Or, alternatively, hide all of his CD's/Vinyls/Music Files/Whatever he uses and ration them out to him, explaining that since he's being such a childish twunt he can be bloody well treated like a childish twunt.

winnybella Sun 26-Jun-11 23:17:21


Just unplug it.

pollyblue Sun 26-Jun-11 23:19:24

Good God, how old is he?

Loud music late at night - and by most people's standards 10.30 on a Sunday is late - is pig-ignorant. So - he ignores the fact you're trying to work, ignores the fact you've told DD to go to bed and ignores the fact you know "for a fact" that this will disturb the neighbours? Sounds a right charmer. What does he do for an encore? Fireworks on the stroke of midnight?

Tell him to buy some sodding headphones.

Omigawd Sun 26-Jun-11 23:20:12

9.30 perfectly reasonable for a Sunday, and no loud music for neighbours after about then either. DH is a the sort of neighbour others dread. Get him to put headphones on or turn it down

Maryz Sun 26-Jun-11 23:24:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadYoungCatLady Sun 26-Jun-11 23:25:18

Wants to count himself lucky hes not my neighbour cos I'd be straight on the phone to police or enviromental health, whichever applies these days. I believe its illegal to play music after 11pm...?

EvenLessNarkyPuffin Sun 26-Jun-11 23:25:34

Agree, he's being selfish and petulant. Cordless headphones and realising he's not a teenager- required.

storytopper Sun 26-Jun-11 23:27:28

Don't like really loud music at any time, to be honest. It will sound horrible to your neighbours coming through the wall - your DH is lucky they haven't complained. Might be a good thing if they did as he doesn't seem to listen to anyone else. Is this his one failing or is he an unreasonable person in general? Poor you - this is a stressful situation.

pollyblue Sun 26-Jun-11 23:28:39

I suppose you could always tell your neighbour he's disturbing to call environmental health with your blessing. Maybe a visit from someone "official" will pull him up.

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