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To feel a bit hurt

(18 Posts)
kitkey Sun 26-Jun-11 15:56:07

I am 27 weeks pregnant with dc3 -other 2 are only 2.1 and 3.6. My mum saw me yesterday for first time in 3 weeks and said I'd put on a "colossal" amount of weight. She said she was talking to a woman in the week who was nearly due and was much smaller than me. This is 3rd baby in 3.5 years so I have never really got back to my original size. I am 5ft 6 and weigh 12 stone - weighed 10.5 pre. Feel awful this pregnancy and exhausted and this made me feel really hurt - I

Punkatheart Sun 26-Jun-11 15:58:42

Oh dear - crass insensitivity. You have had a few children very close together - I think you are doing wonderfully well.

Did you let her know she had hurt your feelings?

Bast Sun 26-Jun-11 15:59:21

Yes.

Tell her to piss off or get over it.

Hassled Sun 26-Jun-11 16:01:13

5 ft 6 and 12 stone is absolutely fine. Incredibly tactless of her - ignore.

catgirl1976 Sun 26-Jun-11 16:01:19

Psshhh - take no notice of her. Very insensitive. You are not overweight trust me - I am your height, 20 weeks pregnant and a stone heavier than you. I told my mum I was a bit tired last week and she said "well you should go down the gym more - you are starting to look like a beached whale". Know what I did? I had a biscuit and ignored her. Sure she didnt mean it but can see why it hurt you.

crazynanna Sun 26-Jun-11 16:03:16

Tell her in 20 years you will be her which is much more scary than an extra few pounds wink

Crossssssshairs Sun 26-Jun-11 16:04:00

YANBU - Mums have a way of saying things without thinking first.

emsyj Sun 26-Jun-11 16:07:44

Haha - I am 5' 7" and weigh more than 12 stone and am not pregnant!!! And I don't consider myself a fat person.

My mum is just the same. She irritates the hell out of me telling me how much weight I've put on and 'oh, have you got a coldsore' <loooooooming right into my face for a good look> - 'oooh what a <shame> ' (as if coldsores are the very <worst> thing in the whole world and I am much to be pitied).

Grrrr!

Oh, and she loves telling me how she didn't gain a single pound when she had my sister and people didn't believe she was pregnant. Do you think, dear mother, that that might have been because she was your first baby and was born at 28 weeks? Do you? Hmmmmm???

And AND - after I had an emcs under GA at 10cm dilated as DD started to descend and it was all very scary and ultra-emergency, she told me that I had had it easy and didn't know anything about childbirth 'because you were asleep when it all happened'.

hmm

So, in short, YANBU - and you are not alone!

MummyBump Sun 26-Jun-11 16:12:09

I would have been extremely hurt too! YANBU!

HowlingBitch Sun 26-Jun-11 16:13:00

Simply reply "Yes, but I can always lose weight. You'll always be a horrible old bat tho." and breathe.

Bast Sun 26-Jun-11 16:22:02

Seriously, my response to my mothers poison was consistently 'You bred me!' (piss off!).

I eventually dumped her.

kitkey Sun 26-Jun-11 16:47:25

Thanks - oh yes my mum has in the past come out with some classics but I am too hormonal to deal with the weight one. I am a nurse and worked a night shift once and meet her the next morning - she asked where my make up was as the nurse at her outpatient appointment looked lovely with a small bit of make up on - I looked tired - I wonder why?

LRDTheFeministNutcase Sun 26-Jun-11 17:12:41

I'd be tempted to say something really patronizing about how much better nutrition in pregnancy has got since her day, how much more people know aboutt hese things now.

FWIW, I am not in the least pregnant, 5'4.5, and have in the past weighed 12st without looking remotely 27 weeks pregnant, so I am struggling to imagine why your mum thinks your weight would be a problem.

milkybarkidsgirlfriend Sun 26-Jun-11 17:22:15

I think our mums just feel they can tell us the truth, if they can't who can? However when it such a insensitive comment, sometimes it's better for them to just shut it.

meltedchocolate Sun 26-Jun-11 17:26:45

YABU to weigh yourself while pregnant. YANBU to be hurt.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange Sun 26-Jun-11 17:34:47

Sorry but mother or not, that is not acceptable.

RevoltingPeasant Sun 26-Jun-11 17:35:13

You could say, 'Yes, I think it's my genes' grin and smile sweetly....

YANBU, obv. My mum is normally very sensitive but I have two very petite sisters (size 8 and 5'4" both) and my mum has this weird dysmorphic thing where she consistently buys me size 14 clothes when I am a 12. It's ridiculous, because a 14 isn't fat, but it's bigger than me and it just feels hurtful somehow....

pigletmania Sun 26-Jun-11 18:03:20

My mum is just the same, every day she phones me up and asks me to weight myself there and then and tell her how much I weigh. She asks me everytime she calls if I have put on weight. At Christmas I got myself a beautiful coat from Warehouse, it fit perfectly with a bit of room to boot, my mum came over and tried it on, and said "well if its too tight on me, it certainly is to tight on you" I put it on for her, and her jaw hit the floor. I think that she loves to think she is about 3 stone slimmer than her.

Now I am 10 weeks pg she has told me not to eat too much and not to put on weight. Due to the sickness and lack of apitite I have lost weight, used to be 11 stone now 10.

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