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To ask will a bright child really be ok whever they go to school ?

(83 Posts)
Ishani Sun 26-Jun-11 10:27:20

Bit of background, ours have been in private school since nursery apart from 2 years where we tried the local church school.
We moved them not because of the school itself but down to a group if bullies who were awful and when our DD moved they got their teeth into another child who then went on to fail the 11+ as a result of these little witches, seriously this other girl was one you'd have bet your house on passing but she was so unhappy in year 5 and 6 there's no other explaination, she just didn't want to go where these other girls were going, they have all of course passed and are off to the best grammar in the country :-(.

Ishani Sun 26-Jun-11 10:31:27

Pressed return to quick.
Anyway we are now relcating and I am really struggling to find a school with places in year 7 fir my eldest who has passed the 11+ and has a grammar school place here, where we want to move to is being very unhelpful ad they claim they've done all their appeals, private schools are double the price down there and so I just don't know what to do ?
We are supportive parents but we both work full time and have 4 children with no family nearby I'm worried there is only so many hours in the day and we'll drop the ball and not do our best by them. Combined with not getting our idea of a good school would it be a mistake to move ?

A2363 Sun 26-Jun-11 10:31:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ishani Sun 26-Jun-11 10:33:01

That's really helpful thank you

karen2010 Sun 26-Jun-11 10:33:10

sorry not sure what you are asking
if you asking will bully child be happier away from these bullies then yes of course she will.

will she get the highest grades who knows?

diabolo Sun 26-Jun-11 10:34:43

Are you being offered an underperforming state school Ishani?

herbietea Sun 26-Jun-11 10:34:58

Message withdrawn

Marshy Sun 26-Jun-11 10:39:17

Also not sure what you are asking.
You get bullies everywhere and bright kids everywhere.
Look at schools, find one you like, deal with the issues as they arise. There are always issues, wherever you are - that's life!

Ishani Sun 26-Jun-11 10:40:00

In the new area I haven't been offered any school the LEA won't deal with us until we have moved, I won't move until I know which school we'll be offered so that's another issue.
Where we currently live she has a place at an ofsted outstanding grammar. I suppose what I am asking is that if we move and I do get a second place school rather than the one everyone wants will she be alright, would I be ruining her chances by turning down the outstanding grammar.

aliceliddell Sun 26-Jun-11 10:42:34

A good school imo is, by definition, one that has no bullying. This is not the same as a good anti-bullying policy. Is the policy enforced? The 'good' school will emphasise emotional and social education in all situations, not just in specific lessons. All children thrivewhere they feel safe; SATs results don't tell you that, Value Added might. Your own observation will be better than either. A school that welcomes you to visit without appointment gives a good chance to see what it's really like.

rainbowinthesky Sun 26-Jun-11 10:43:40

Why are you moving? What are the schools like in the area you are moving to? You are only going to end up with a school where there are places so arent going to get into an oversubscribed school.

Ishani Sun 26-Jun-11 10:48:54

We are moving for dh's job he's down there now and coming back at weekends which is proving hard going. She is first on the waiting kist for the better school whatever that will mean. We can appeal for the over subscribed grammars I know we can but nobody is being forthcoming about dates or how we go about her sitting their exams.

Marshy Sun 26-Jun-11 10:50:49

Presumably you are looking at the new area, what the schools are like, admission crtiteria, likelihood of being over subscribed etc, to help inform your decision-making?
TBH the school can't be that fab if you are concerned that they may not deal properly with bullying. Or have I got that wrong?

whostolemyname Sun 26-Jun-11 10:53:59

I think a bright child WILL do well academically whatever school they go to within reason. Where i think there is a difference is in the opportunities afforded to them when they leave school. I think that having been to certain private schools can mean they have contacts in the form of other children's parents who work at big, well paying organisations, and that can be very useful to them if they want to work in private sector big business.

stoppinchingthedummy Sun 26-Jun-11 10:55:14

I think i understand what your asking ..
I actually dont think some schools pushh children who are bright. If your child has had a good education up to now it could be quite easy for her to attend a school who may not be able to push her and may have a class full of rowdy children. I guess it depends on the area and school itself and you can only tell by visiting the school and getting a feel of it.
I was doing quite well in year 7 and 8 (though i wouldnt say im bright)then moved schools and the teachers didnt have time to assess me (apparently) so put me in lower sets ...Low and behold i sat there till i left and did not try very hard.

stoppinchingthedummy Sun 26-Jun-11 10:56:58

pushh [roll] push i mean and i agree all school's have bullying but if they have a good anti bullying policy and they enforce it then this is a sign of a potentially good school.

FabbyChic Sun 26-Jun-11 10:57:51

It does not matter what school they go to if they are bright.

My son went to a terrible secondary school, but took a Maths GCSE at 13, I paid for the study material, he taught himself and the school paid for the exam.

He also got 4 A*s and 6 A's, he has just finished uni studying Maths and got a First.

My youngest went to an even worse school, just took his exams at college and looks to get A*, A* and A in Maths and computing, he will also be studying Maths at Uni.

If they have it in them they will succeed no matter where they go.

turdass Sun 26-Jun-11 10:59:00

I am a SAHM but used to be a secondary school teacher. In England I have only worked in really tough, inner city schools. Every year some kids did absolutely brilliantly. Some went on to do amazing things (Phds etc). One of the cleverest boys I have ever met went to one of these schools. If your child is bright and motivated (these two skills don't neccessarily go together in my experience), they will do well no matter where they go.

Socially, in all schools, like attracts like. So even in the roughest schools, you will get the little groups of good kids/nerds etc all going about together just as much as the little toughies tend to stick together.

In my experience, most kids are essentially nice. It is usually just a small handful who create a problem. In inner city schools it will be the gobby usually not very bright ones. In grammar/private schools you can equally get unpleasantness - as you have just proved with your comments about the bullies going on to grammar school.

Kids are kids. Some are academic. Some are not. Some are nice. Some are not. If your daughter wants to do well then she will. Simple.

piprabbit Sun 26-Jun-11 10:59:20

If your DH is already working in the new area, can you not apply for school places on the basis of his weekday address?

Ishani Sun 26-Jun-11 11:03:17

Yes piprabbit I've done that for the younger 2 in the primary schools it's the secondary ones that are being arses and want me to decline and provide proof I've declined the grammar before they will deal with me.

CravingExcitement Sun 26-Jun-11 11:05:25

I think turdass has hit the nail on the head. If the child is motivated they will do well, whether they are bright or not. I was always considered bright at school, but had no motivation or confidence. I have finally developed those qualities, and I am hoping to start a degree next year, at the advanced age of 37.

Ishani Sun 26-Jun-11 11:07:23

Turdass did the children that did very well have parents with lots of time to spend with them ? This is a massive concern to me, I will have to work full time as the area we would move to is very expensive and with a baby and three school age children I'm so worried I won't be able to top them up or be as proactive as I could here.
I'm talking myself out of this move.
Outstanding school with mum at home full time v's maybe not so good school and busy parents, it's a no brained isn't it ?

Marshy Sun 26-Jun-11 11:11:05

Ooh, that's tough Ishani - not easy to turn down an apparently excellent school when you don't know what you might be going to.
Presumably you do have some idea of what the possibilities are? Best case and worse case scenario in the new area?
What does your DD want. If she's concerned about being bullied at the excellent school, may be hard for her to do well, as others have suggested.

lesley33 Sun 26-Jun-11 11:11:59

As long as she isn't being bullied, the factor that most affects children's performance is their parents encouragement and support. If you wouldn't be paying for a private school you could always put money aside for extra private tuition if it looks like your child needs it.

And sometimes schools with a great reputation can have a bad bullying problem as they try and hide any bullying rather than tackling it head on.

lesley33 Sun 26-Jun-11 11:15:04

I went to a rough school but was bright and well motivated so did pretty well. But sometimes the teachers were so busy dealing with kids who were struggling that they didn't have enough time to spend with the brightest kids.

But a small amount of extra tuition 1-1 could tackle any shortfallings in particular subject areas.

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