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Can anyone advise?

(15 Posts)
Ambers123 Sun 26-Jun-11 09:30:35

My new partner thinks it is okay to go and stay with his ex on family occassions, says he sleeps in daughters room, but i have never met them so makes me wonder, dont get me wrong dont think she is a threat as they have been divorced 9 years , i just dont like it even if he has 4 grown up kids , his ex wife is too needy and would take him back gives me the jitters at times for all i trust him just confused .

Lorenz Sun 26-Jun-11 09:34:21

No I wouldn't have that at all. God knows what could happen, especially if as you say she's needy and would take him back if she got the chance.

YANBU

sausagesandmarmelade Sun 26-Jun-11 09:36:04

His kids are grown up....

You are in a relationship with him, he should be committed to you and your feelings should count.

Have a proper chat to find out exactly what the situation is.

It's a new relationship...if you are not happy with the situation and he refusese to budge then you should maybe consider whether you want a relationship under the circumstances.

sausagesandmarmelade Sun 26-Jun-11 09:37:40

I've heard of relationships like this where the ties between the Ex haven't been severed...and it causes no end of heartbreak for the new partner.

Do you need that? Do you want that?
Don't you deserve more than that?

Ambers123 Sun 26-Jun-11 09:41:19

Hi yes we had a chat , he says cos he lives 100 miles away it is convinent, but said he will stay at his daughters who just got a new flat , but he stayed the other weeekend and did not tell me as they were having a family ceildh for his 18 years birthday would have been nice to be invited let alone know about it, now he goes quiet when i mention his family.

sausagesandmarmelade Sun 26-Jun-11 09:44:16

Why can't he stay in a B&B?

Basically, if nyou are in a serious relationship he should be involving you in all aspects of his life...

How long have you been together?

Ambers123 Sun 26-Jun-11 09:47:57

Yes I agree, too stingy i think and we have only been going out 7 months but hey ho , me i am just too open and honest he has met all my family even though i dont have as many as him, thanks for advise.

sausagesandmarmelade Sun 26-Jun-11 09:56:33

That's ok....

You should expect him to be open and honest with you.

If he isn't doing that I would assess whether you want to be involved with him any more.

Ambers123 Sun 26-Jun-11 10:02:39

Yep have been thinking along these lines , and you have just confirmed this for me it is hard as he swept me off my feet ! , very plasuible i think the word is, but will really need to rethink where this is going if anywhere.

Thanks again you been great help.

squeakytoy Sun 26-Jun-11 10:16:28

You posted yesterday about never having met any of his family.. this thread just confirms to me that he is lying to you and you really dont know the man very well at all.

Ambers123 Sun 26-Jun-11 10:19:37

Yea i think you hit the nail on the head , GOD do i feel foolish , thanks again for your interest.

HerHissyness Sun 26-Jun-11 10:23:17

Ok, swept off feet - can be a red flag
needy exW, he's kind of bad mouthed her to you - red flag
not being introduced to anyone at all in 7m - not good either

writing is on the wall for this one Amber - you need to end it.

Ambers123 Sun 26-Jun-11 10:30:04

I know your right, he has introduced me to some of his church friends thats all lame excuse i can hear you say it .

HerHissyness Sun 26-Jun-11 10:59:24

trust your instincts Amber. they are telling you the right thing to to do!

Ambers123 Sun 26-Jun-11 11:06:04

Yes i know just hard to be final about it , it was such fun thought he was the one!, thanks x

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