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or is FIL (please let it be him)

(33 Posts)
LunaticFringe Sat 25-Jun-11 19:48:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

He sounds like my FIL, and therefore a twat.

YANBU.

Littlefish Sat 25-Jun-11 19:55:01

I think it depends how you said it. Did you explain why? Did you say how long it might take her to wake up properly?

Tenacity Sat 25-Jun-11 19:55:28

You made a big deal over nothing, YABU.

skybluepearl Sat 25-Jun-11 19:57:25

did you explain why he needed to give her space? you could have said 'oo she has just woken up, give her a couple of mins to come round and they she will be up for a good chat'

LunaticFringe Sat 25-Jun-11 20:00:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Casmama Sat 25-Jun-11 20:01:29

I think yabu. He was probably hurt and a bit embarrassed because you didn't explain properly (from the sounds of it) and didn't want to risk being told off again. The three hour drive and the hot day aren't really relevant as far as I can see.

GreenEyesandHam Sat 25-Jun-11 20:03:05

You asked him to give her space, he gave her space.

FlubbaBubba Sat 25-Jun-11 20:03:23

I might have done what you did (regrettably) but then smoothed things over once I'd gathered myself together and apologised for coming off rude, but explaining how she needed some time to come round otherwise it'd be hell for us all.

YWBU sorry!

Littlefish Sat 25-Jun-11 20:03:58

Sorry, but given your explanation, I think yabu. You've obviously hurt his feelings, even though you didn't mean to. You need to apologise.

LunaticFringe Sat 25-Jun-11 20:04:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenEyesandHam Sat 25-Jun-11 20:06:00

You did ask....grin

Fluffeh Sat 25-Jun-11 20:06:08

YANBU he over reacted and as he's the adult and your DD is only tiny it would be her who felt it not him. He should have behaved like the adult not the chastised child.

Tortington Sat 25-Jun-11 20:06:13

WELL YOU WERE BEING OVERLY PRECIOUS and he was being a dick

so your both a couple of nobbers

amen

toomanyopinions Sat 25-Jun-11 20:06:29

YANBU. His sulky reaction was childish and has probably confused his Grandaughter! You don't fuss a groggy child!

FlubbaBubba Sat 25-Jun-11 20:06:53

If that's how you feel, then you should have had it out with him, rather than leaving after 3 hrs! (I presume you intended on staying for longer, considering the journey you undertook to get there?!) Just as childish and churlish as him IMHO

tazmin Sat 25-Jun-11 20:06:55

agree that he had probably been looking forward to it for a while and was very hurt to have his face slapped as soon as you arrived, when all he wanted to do was say hello to the child

i think you are quite out of order to be honest

FlubbaBubba Sat 25-Jun-11 20:08:07

Amen indeed custardo grin

Littlefish Sat 25-Jun-11 20:08:39

You told him to back off. You didn't tell him how long for. He was obviously embarrassed or worried about trying again in case he got it wrong again.

skybluepearl Sat 25-Jun-11 20:10:42

agree with custardo

Iteotwawki Sat 25-Jun-11 20:11:22

You are being completely unreasonable. He came over to see his granddaughter and you told him to back off. I would've avoided going near her again after that without a better explanation or apology for saying it in a rushed manner because I'd be worried about being told off again! And I'd be concerned it would be embarrassing if I asked if it was ok to talk to or play with her later on in case you said no again.

I think a quick "she's just woken up, she'll be grumpy for a bit" explanation doesn't take long and would have sorted the problem before it became one.

duckdodgers Sat 25-Jun-11 20:12:51

Oh for goodness sake he was probably just excited at seeing his grandaughter and what happens - you wade in telling him to back off, no wonder the poor man didnt know what to do next.

The "we dragged ourselves three hours cross country on a hot day to visit him at his request" gives the impression you couldnt be bothered going to see him in the first palce as well.

EricNorthmansMistress Sat 25-Jun-11 20:15:40

Did you tell him when he was allowed to talk to her? Or did you just tell him to leave her alone with no explanation? because the poor guy was probably too nervous to approach her after you snapped at him.

toomanyopinions Sat 25-Jun-11 20:23:01

You know, I'm probably allowing my own FIL issues to cloud my judgement here...! In a way YANBU, but, could maybe had a little more tact...In the same situation with my larger than life bully of a FIL I would have said nothing, allowed my child to be rudely awakened then been on here asking "AIBU for being such a doormat?!"

LunaticFringe Sat 25-Jun-11 20:28:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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