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to refuse to cook any dead creature ever again?

(20 Posts)
RuddyNora Fri 24-Jun-11 19:32:25

Just made the DCs dinner - couscous sald with smoked mackerel fillets. I was going to eat the couscous salad but now feel so sick, I could only manage half a slice of the strawberry gateau that was dessert.

While I was pulling off the mackerel's slimy disgusting skin, I suddenly thought wtf are you doing? I am a vegetarian and since the age of 12 have not eaten meat, fish or fowl. Could not stomach it and get the heebies geebies when I think about it rotting inside of the person who has eaten it [brrooouuggghhh].

I have brought the DCs up to eat meat and make their own decision as to whether they want to or not. They all love it, they will gnaw chicken bones and spare ribs and slurp up gristle etc. DH is also the biggest carnivore known to man. I have always cooked meat meals with the odd maybe once weekly vege meal which they all complain about - DH especially blaming me for giving him indigestion/wind with my nutrious bean casseroles hmm, funnily I don't have that problem!

Quite often I end up not eating the main meal myself as it makes me feel sick or I will forget to put my vege burgers in the oven etc and I am getting sick of it.

If I'm doing the cooking/shopping, they can eat what I eat.

I have told DH that if he/DCs want meat/fish, he can buy it and cook it and I will serve it along with whatever vege meal I am making. He is home for dinner times most nights so it will not be too much of a problem.

He thinks I am being HIGHLY unreasonable. Am I?

GrimmaTheNome Fri 24-Jun-11 19:38:00

YANBU. If its making you feel physically sick, to the point where its putting you off your food, its unreasonable for him to expect you to do it. (I'm not a veggie, btw)

Get him a BBQ. Men who won't otherwise cook will happily carbonise cook meat on a barbie.

Also - are your DC anywhere near old enough to cook yet - eg grill a burger or fishfinger?

Onemorning Fri 24-Jun-11 19:41:45

YADNBU. I eat meat, but I can't see why you should be forced to cook something you find personally repugnant. You are offering a meal - albeit a meatless one - and if he wants meat then he can add it. Simple.

bubblecoral Fri 24-Jun-11 19:42:46

Mackerel was bound to make you sick to be fair, I'm not veggie, but I won't cook or eat fish. It's vile.

ellangirl Fri 24-Jun-11 19:43:32

Considering how strongly you feel about your vegetarianism, I am impressed that you can cook meat, but I do think it is right to do so personally. Perhaps there are some things that are easy to cook meat wise for you- off the top of my head breaded fish for example, or one of those 'ready to cook' joints of meat that comes in a metal tray. That way you don't have to do the unpleasant bit of touching it or cutting it up. If your DH wants something requires more preparation (pulling mackerel skins off would constitute this) then I would say it is reasonable to ask him to do it, in the same way that any partners in a house might take turns to cook. If he is home for dinner most nights that shouldn't be too much of a problem IMO. I really don't think your DH or DCs should have a problem with eating some vegetarian meals during the week- we eat vege meals regularly and we are not vegetarian.

SpringHeeledJack Fri 24-Jun-11 19:44:37


I can never understand why veggie friends would even think about cooking meat for a bloke. Or kids, come to that. They do, though

I never cook things I can't eat myself. But then I am a bit of a selfish cow.

exexpat Fri 24-Jun-11 19:52:17

I've been vegetarian since 16 and never even had to explain to DH that I would never cook meat or fish for him - he just assumed anything I cooked would be vegetarian, and was normally happy to eat it, though he very occasionally cooked himself some fish.

I've brought the DCs up to be vegetarian plus fish, so I do cook fish for them occasionally, but only in very basic forms so I don' t have to handle it too much - fish fingers/battered fish/frozen salmon which I just wrap in foil and bake etc.

I think your problem here is the fact that you've done it so long - I can understand why your DH might get a bit upset at the sudden change. Could you ease into it by only cooking things that don't require much handling/prep? And making them just optional extras to the main vegetarian meal?

Crosshair Fri 24-Jun-11 19:54:10


MsHighwater Fri 24-Jun-11 20:12:02

I think you might be a bit OTT with imagining the meat "rotting" inside the person who has eaten it. The meat is surely not rotting any more than anything else is. It is being digested, that's all. No-one's stomach contents bear very close examination, however admirable their principles.

If you cannot cope with cooking meat or fish any more then tell your family you won't do it any more - my guess is that you are a rare vegetarian for having done it at all. If they still wish to eat meat or fish, they eat it elsewhere or cook it themselves. exexpat's suggested approach seems sensibe to me.

TidyDancer Fri 24-Jun-11 20:15:14

YADNBU. I am vegetarian and I will not cook meat for others either. I can't stand to handle it and I can't stand the smell while it is cooking.

IslandMooCow Fri 24-Jun-11 20:26:32

YABU as you've already "brought your DC up to eat meat". If you find meat so unbearable how could you serve it to your DC? As you've gone along with this for so long then it would be a shock to everyone to change overnight.

I also want my children to make their own choices. They have been brought up vegetarian and if they chose to eat meat then that is OK. I won't be cooking it though - although to be honest "buying it" is the critical choice as that is the decision that supports the meat trade. I don't cook it for DH, but if he choses it when we eat out that is fine, although clearly I'd rather he didn't!

bessie26 Fri 24-Jun-11 20:28:45

YANBU If you are not happy to cook meat then don't do it. They can either eat what you cook or cook themselves!

I'm veggie, DH & DD are carnivore, but happily eat all the veggie meals I put in front of them.
I will cook meat for them as long as it's easy, free range & organic, but this probably only happens once or twice a year as DH thinks it's silly for us to have different meals.

confuseddotcodotuk Fri 24-Jun-11 20:28:49

YANBU. I cook meat for kids I look after and am not too fussed by it, but with my ex I cooked what I wanted, if he wanted meat he could bloody well do it himself and he was happy with that!

Tell them they shouldn't be eating meat for dinner every night anyway, it's healthy to have a few veggie meals a week grin

LRDTheFeministNutcase Fri 24-Jun-11 20:37:26

Why don't you just get your DH to share cooking in general? confused

I'd be a bit pissed off it someone asked me to cook one element of a meal alongside them making the rest - it'd be really awkward. But if he were to make dinner, say, three/four nights a week, he could cook loads of meat those days and you could all eat veggie the rest?

I think he should be compromising as well as you on this one but I don't think you're helping yourself by keeping the cooking as 'your job' if you're planning never to make food he wants.

RuddyNora Fri 24-Jun-11 20:41:21

DD actually requested the mackerel and was supposed to be cooking it - (she's 14) but burnt the onions, did not wash the veg and stormed off in a huff when I pointed it out. Whole house stinks of fish now - completely rank!

I try not give them fish - unless it's fishfingers but she's on a health kick and insisted on it when she came shopping with me.

I have been doing it too long which why I have now decided to revolt!

LRDTheFeministNutcase Fri 24-Jun-11 20:42:33

Mmm ... it is tricky though, she's old enough to cook a meal at 14 but probably still finds it a bit tougher than you do.

ratspeaker Fri 24-Jun-11 20:42:59

I really really cant cook chicken or fish and some other meat gie me the boak

My eldest DS learnt if he wanted chicken he had to cook for himself or his dad had to cook it
I have to leave the room
DS feels that way about broccoli

Funnily I dont have a problem with beef or bacon

So I feel YANBU if it upsets you

travellingwilbury Fri 24-Jun-11 20:48:17

YANBU , my gran has been a veggie for ever and I was always surprised that she cooked meat for us . She did the best bacon butties . I am not a veggie but if I was I wouldn't cook meat .

My dhs ex was vegetarian and he used to have a sneaky steak every now and then when she wasn't around . He was just pleased someone was cooking for him .

Triphop Fri 24-Jun-11 20:57:19

How old are your DC?

I would be willing to buy it (as long as it's not fresh fish - that's asking a lot!), pop it in the fridge/freezer, and let your DH or DC actually cook it. I would also be willing to basically shove pre-prepared meat into the oven and take it out. But then, they could do that too, couldn't they??

Also, ask them what veggie recipes they really like. If they particularly hate beans, fine, do more with eggs/soy/tempe/dairy. If they're taking an unreasonable "I don't like anything without meat in it" line, then just stop cooking for them.

I think it's unreasonable for you to cook a main meal you will not eat. If they really can't handle vegetarian food, then they're about to learn how to cook, and fast.

And if your daughter is on a health kick, you might want to point out the dead and seriously ill people in Germany as an incentive to wash her veggies.

Omigawd Fri 24-Jun-11 21:06:06

All depends on what you and dh agreed to do all those years ao and what you have been doing for DCs since they were born.

IMO a sudden unilateral declaration of veggiedom is ABU and bound to cause a ruction, maybe phase it in? Does sound like dd's are at the right age to start cooking some family meals themselves learn to be independent though.

I think oily fish are the worst, maybe stick to dryer meats?

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