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to think some of the mums at school are really odd?

(184 Posts)
vintageteacups Fri 24-Jun-11 18:32:00

I've been living in our home town for the past couple of years and previously grew up there (as did DH).

It's a fairly wealthy, snobby town (newcomers are snobby, not locals who have grown up there). I have some okay friends at the school drop offs/pick ups and regularly see them for a cuppaand cake etc.

However, there are a few really odd women, who know my name, DCs names and a fair but about me, yet sometimes, I can walk past them and say "morning, how are you?" and they'll just literally smile/mumble/stare blankly and carry on walking!!

I'm amazed that anyone can be that rude. One lady, who came up and touched me on the arm 2 weeks ago, telling me her dd would love to come to dd's party, actually just walks straight past me and vaguely smiles every other time.

Another woman who usually says hi fairly normally, saw me yesterday, I said "Hi ----, how are you are?" and she did a smile and carried on walking.

Are some people just odd? I would never dream of blanking someone (even a stranger I don't know) in the street if they openly went out of their way to say hi. Weird huh?

flamegirl77 Fri 24-Jun-11 18:35:53

I'm always accidentally blanking people because I'm very absent minded especially in the morning. I'm really mortified when it happens. Could they just be a bit away with the fairies?

begonyabampot Fri 24-Jun-11 18:36:10

but they smiled, they didn't blank you and maybe you are more confident than them. Where I come from, even strangers often talk to each other but I realise other places can be more reserved and that wouldn't really be the done thing.

vintageteacups Fri 24-Jun-11 18:38:50

Sorry flamegirl but you simply cannot ignore someone who is the only other person on the path and who you sat and had a cup of tea with a month or two before.

mumblechum1 Fri 24-Jun-11 18:39:53

I'm really bad at remembering where I know people from so I'll vaguely smile but not really remember till later whether I know them through work, choir, kids mums, the lady in the corner shop or whatever.

I have been known to say hiya to celebs who live locally because I vaguely think they're one of ds's mates' parents then think fuck me that was Ulrike Johnson/Philip Schofield/someone else I recognise from telly blush

vintageteacups Fri 24-Jun-11 18:40:01

These are confident women. If one of them wasn't confident, why would she touch my arm and be all smilly when telling me about the party and then not speak any other time?

vintageteacups Fri 24-Jun-11 18:41:00

Nope - I just can't buy that mumble; they know my name, where I live, the fact that their dd is good friends with my dd etc.

curtaincall Fri 24-Jun-11 18:42:47

when ds was in reception i found this hard as it happened alot. I realised (after reading a thread in primary ed on blanking parents) that some are absent minded llike flamegirl, some are short-sighted, some have just had a big row with dh/lost their job/heard bad news and just don't feel they can say anything without bursting into tears, and maybe one or two will just be rude!

I don't worry about it any more and know that the good friends I make will always be friendly. Sounds like a settling in period for you.

vintageteacups Fri 24-Jun-11 18:44:49

Settling in after 2.6 yrs? We are literally moving again in a few weeks - I cannot wait!!!

curtaincall Fri 24-Jun-11 18:44:52

hey listen to mumble - she's the one with the dodgy recall. You're the one with the problem!

curtaincall Fri 24-Jun-11 18:45:59

if you're moving, why post ?!?

worraliberty Fri 24-Jun-11 18:48:00

They're not blanking you, they are responding with a nod or a smile.

Not everyone has time or wants to stop and chat to everyone who says Hi to them.

vintageteacups Fri 24-Jun-11 18:49:14

I was just astounded at how rude they are, which is why I posted and wondered whether this happens in other schools.

I guess the short sighted thing could be the only convincing excuse but numerous women?

I wasn't being rude to mumble curtaicncall; just meant I don't think these women are anything other than rude.

kaluki Fri 24-Jun-11 18:49:21

I come across the same thing, but I think the reason may be that you just don't have time to talk, especially in the mornings.
I am usually in such a rush in the mornings, I am sure I accidentally ignore people, and tbh if I stopped and said hello to every school Mum i know I'd never actually make it to school!
I have a problem with the Mums who will talk to you after school quite happily, until someone with more money more interesting shows up then they cut me dead and walk off to talk to the other Mum.
After they've done that to me I make a point of ignoring them grin

bubblecoral Fri 24-Jun-11 18:49:24

I think if they blatantly blank you it's rude, but I would just put it down to the fact that people aren't always good in the mornings/are in a rush/are being absent minded because they are thinking of other things etc.

There are women that were in my ante natal class who I used to spend a huge amount of time with, but now when everyones rushing off to work or is just generally busy in the mornings, we rarely get time to stop for a chat.

There are countless other Mums who I have this conversation with on a regular basis

Hi, how are you
Good thanks how are you
All good, see you later
Bye!

And that's it. It can be started by either me or them, but it's always pretty much the same.

I quite like the unspoken rule that we seem to have that means everyone understands if you don't chat, or only utter the word 'hi' for months on end, but no body assumes you're being rude.

vintageteacups Fri 24-Jun-11 18:50:36

But it's not stopping to chat; it's literally saying hello when I walk past them.

I would feel awful if I didn't say hello to someone I know when walking past them in the street/standing next to them in the playground etc.

youarekidding Fri 24-Jun-11 18:50:51

I think I do this but not to be rude. I work and have to get places in a time limit. So if someone who knows me says HI, I'll say it back smile and keep going.

Maybe thats it? or maybe I'm wierd. grin

K999 Fri 24-Jun-11 18:51:46

I drop dd2 off in the morning, smile at other parents, say a quick hi and then rush like mad to get to work......plus am not looking to be bezzie mates IYSWIM ...

SixtyFootDoll Fri 24-Jun-11 18:52:09

Maybe they don't have time to stop and chat, I always smile, say hi but keepmon walking as I have to get to work, go shopping.
Occasionally I stop for a quick chat.

youarekidding Fri 24-Jun-11 18:52:31

Phew, from your last post I'm not wierd. grin

I do say Hi as I fly past.

worraliberty Fri 24-Jun-11 18:53:37

But if they've smiled and mumbled then they've probably said hello confused

GingerWrath Fri 24-Jun-11 18:54:03

If they are anything like me I just don't DO mornings, never have. Talk to me on the afternoon run and I am as friendly as anything, but first thing, forget it. Luckily all the Mums who know me understand this.

TheKidsAreAllWrong Fri 24-Jun-11 18:54:04

have you been forgetting to get dressed before you go out lately?

Joolyjoolyjoo Fri 24-Jun-11 18:55:22

I think that is odd, so YANBU. I chat to people who seem to know me, despite having no clue who they are blush I will happily yatter on until it comes to me where I know them from (or not, as the case may be) But then, I chat to everyone, so maybe it's me that's odd...

vintageteacups Fri 24-Jun-11 18:55:35

Well, it's more like:

Me -" Hi Fiona"
Her - half a smile

I was brought up to say hello to someone if they speak to you. Now I can understand that some people may not speak to strangers they don't know but someone who you know - weird. And it's not only before school when everyone's rushing. It's when they are dawdling along with their children.

I don't want to chat to them - just being polite.
I will try and ignore them then in future and be the better person wink

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