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to feel absolutely disgusted by what just happened on the bus?

(312 Posts)
BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Fri 24-Jun-11 15:40:22

On the bus with DH, toddler DD (19 months) in pushchair and newborn DS (17 days) in sling. Travelling through bog standard, middle class suburbia.

As we board, bus driver snaps that we'll either have to fold the pushchair or get off now. As we're fumbling to fold the pushchair whilst clinging onto a tired and wailing DD, other passangers are elbowing past and paying no attention to DS whom I'm trying to protect, and the bus driver is shouting at me to hurry up.

Nobody at all offers DH or DD a seat, and the only person to offer me one is a woman of at least 70.

Having an ashamed-to-be-British moment.

Bunbaker Fri 24-Jun-11 15:45:49

The driver and other passengers were incredibly rude. That said, I think you are supposed to fold up pushchairs before you get on a bus because it causes an obstruction and takes up too much room. If I had been a fellow passenger I would have helped you.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Fri 24-Jun-11 15:47:00

But how are you supposed to know in advance that the bus will be so full as to require you to fold it?

Cocoflower Fri 24-Jun-11 15:47:04

Its not nice...

but why would you expect Dh to get offered a seat?

LolaRennt Fri 24-Jun-11 15:48:13

Sorry I don't know your full story but is there a specific reason someone would offer DH a seat?

FreudianSlipper Fri 24-Jun-11 15:49:00

oh lord just a tad dramatic

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Fri 24-Jun-11 15:49:05

Because he was clinging onto DD, who was trying to fling herself all over the bus. I was taught always to vacate my seat for a parent with a child, whether a mother or a father.

Crosshair Fri 24-Jun-11 15:49:13

Most busses here you can get two prams on. You do get the occasional old bus that requires the pushchair to be folded, but most women wait till the bus pulls up.

Its horrrible that noone helped and the bus driver shouted at you. Report him?

bamboostalks Fri 24-Jun-11 15:49:25

Depressing.

LDNmummy Fri 24-Jun-11 15:49:50

Yes that is awful but no at all surprising.

IMO, and I have never voiced this on MN before, it is defnitely something I find specific to certain cultures that are quite selfish. British culture is definitely one. I heard it happens in China too but have never actually experienced it outside of Britain. But then I live in London which is notorious for selfish commuting attitudes.

Pixieonthemoor Fri 24-Jun-11 15:50:26

Utterly disgusting behaviour and I am so sorry you had to endure it. God, people really suck these days, dont they? Where are manners? Compassion? Kindness? Sometimes I really think this country is going down the toilet.

worraliberty Fri 24-Jun-11 15:50:40

There were two adults, I don't see how it was that difficult a situation to fold the pushchair...especially as the baby was in a sling?

And why would the driver 'snap' at you to fold it? Are you sure he didn't just tell you to fold it because there was no room and that pissed you off?

Flisspaps Fri 24-Jun-11 15:51:03

YANBU to think they were rude.

However, with two adults it shouldn't be a huge faff to get two small children (especially if one is in a sling) onto a bus and fold a buggy. Perhaps fold it up next time before boarding, and then you can put it back up again if there's space once you board?

AmberLeaf Fri 24-Jun-11 15:51:28

There were two of you, sorry to be blunt but you should have been better prepared.

I used to manage getting on a bus with a toddler and small baby and i didnt have DP with me.

LDNmummy Fri 24-Jun-11 15:51:35

As in I have never been to China so couldn't say.

JudysJudgement Fri 24-Jun-11 15:51:47

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

I would complain to the Bus company. The driver should certainly not have shouted at you to hurry up.

There is never any excuse for rudeness.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Fri 24-Jun-11 15:52:00

There was already two strollers and a man with a guide dog in the buggy area.

Dramatic? Maybe. But I think anyone would be, after 17 days of absolutely no sleep.

Riveninside Fri 24-Jun-11 15:52:22

Wish the drivers here would make people fold for wheelchairs.

TeddyMcardle Fri 24-Jun-11 15:52:33

I put the buggy down anyway if the bus is crowded, that's just good manners as well as practical, people don't know how to put my buggy down so they don't offer to help, they scared of 'paedophilia mania' so don't offer to take ds, you just get on with it don't you. I'd have offered you my seat but gave up expecting that on buses a long while ago, just doesn't happen.

JudysJudgement Fri 24-Jun-11 15:52:37

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

JudysJudgement Fri 24-Jun-11 15:53:40

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

The way that some bus drivers drive, I used to wait for another bus if I couldn't leave the buggy up. Always felt DCs were safer in the buggy than on my lap.

Ivortheengine8 Fri 24-Jun-11 15:54:38

I know what you mean and have just written a similar post in the pregnancy forum. I have been in the same situation. People are extremely rude now especailly, it seems here where I live in London. I am approching 3rd trimester and have a toddler and I never get a seat. I usually have to stand and often with my toddler clinging on to me for support.

It baffles me as I was taught to offer my seat up for the elderly,less able to walk etc and if I saw a pregnant woman or a woman with a young child struggling I would definately be up out of my seat.
Basic etiquette, but it seems that does not exist now.

hazeyjane Fri 24-Jun-11 15:55:23

It can be a bloody nightmare getting on a bus with dcs, I have taken to asking people nicely to help me fold the pushchair, if I have to, because it is a struggle to fold, if you're holding a baby, and dealing with 2 other dcs, especially if you have shopping and other bags.

We have several buses locally where you have to fold the pushchair, so I try to avoid these, but usually if you are vocal and ask for help, someone will step forward.

It is always best to be prepared to fold buggy, because if someone with a wheelchair wants to use the bus, then they would rightly take priority.

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