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to think a 15 year old girl is too young to be left alone on holiday

(64 Posts)
Filibear Fri 24-Jun-11 13:27:06

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ragged Fri 24-Jun-11 13:35:37

Insufficient info to say. I tend to think it's probably reasonable of your mum who knows more about full situation than you can, I take it you don't have teen children yourself? What does your niece's mum think?

dickiedavisthunderthighs Fri 24-Jun-11 13:38:38

If she was sunbathing by the pool at the hotel then I don't think it's a problem is it? It's not like she was off exploring.
I expect your mum wanted to see a bit of whatever country they were in and your niece wanted to lie on a sunlounger BBM'ing her entire contact list telling them what a killer tan she was getting.

As for the getting pissed in a park thing, chances are she shared 2 Bacardi Breezers with 4 mates, felt terribly grown up and then did a little bit of bragging by stealth by telling you she was 'hungover'.
Sounds like a typical 15 year old to me.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 24-Jun-11 13:38:40

Were they in some kind of resort complex? Was it a particularly exotic/dangerous location? Being left by the pool in some remote location popular with bandits would be different than if you were sat on a Torremolinos sun lounger reading books & surrounded by families from Essex. The crunch question is probably how your DN felt about it. If she was terrified, you might have a point. If she appreciated having some time to chill out by herself then your mum probably read the situation right.

MrsRhettButler Fri 24-Jun-11 13:40:26

At 15 I was left home alone while my mum went on holiday and went on holiday alone with my 15 yo friend

All teenagers are different of course so it's hard to say but I think being left alone in a strange country is maybe not ok but I'm not sure

<sits on fence>

GetOrf Fri 24-Jun-11 13:41:04

God no, that is fine.

I would personally prefer to spend as much time together on holiday - after all that is the point of them isn't it? But if dd wanted to sunbathe and I wanted to go exploring or vice versa, I don't see that's a problem.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 24-Jun-11 13:41:25

It sounds fine to me. I used to spend time alone on the beach or by the pool when I went on holiday with my parents at that age.

Tee2072 Fri 24-Jun-11 13:41:30

At 15 I would think she was old enough.

Goodness at 16 my grandmother took me to London for holiday (I'm from the US) and I had at least one afternoon where I went off on my own.

What is with us babying our children/teenagers? If you give them no freedom, how do they learn?!?!

Filibear Fri 24-Jun-11 13:44:28

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loiner45 Fri 24-Jun-11 13:44:46

when I expressed concern about my first teenager my dad used to point out that he and my mother both left school and were bringing in a wage at her age, didn't have mobile phones and were out all hours :-)

youarekidding Fri 24-Jun-11 13:45:32

At that age when we went away I was off with friends I made. The summer I turned 16 (so was 15 but left school) I was going to the bars, pool, around complex. My sister who was 13 came with me day and some evenings and also my brother who was 9 during the day.

We weren't out drinking but just dancing and having been to the same campsite for 4 years my parents and us knew the area. We also would go to the local fair with friends.

We did have to spend time with family though and that was the deal.

Did me the world of good and I left to work all over Europe at 18 for 7 years but my sister who was allowed same freedom is a real home bird.

Doesn't sound too bad to me - and whole day could have been 1-4pm!

WhoAteMySnickers Fri 24-Jun-11 13:49:19

It was fine. I don't imagine your mum "going off and doing what she wanted" took her off the holiday complex from 9am - 9pm every single day, she probably meant the odd day trip, a walk to the beach, a quiet drink in a bar in town, etc.

At 15 when on holiday with my folks, my sis and I would usually make friends on day 1 and spend the rest of the holiday hanging around with that group, going to the beach and quite often we stayed at the hotel bar of an evening whilst all of the parents went out, or if they were staying at the hotel bar we'd go out.

DurhamDurham Fri 24-Jun-11 13:49:26

She was relaxing by the pool, probably listening to her ipod and reading crap like Heat magazine. What's wrong with that. 15 year old's are capable of being left unsupervised, my two girls have been 'home alone' after school since they went to secondary school. When we go on holiday we give the girls the choice of coming with us to explore the area or staying by the pool.

I thought you meant she had been left alone, as in for the whole week!!

eurochick Fri 24-Jun-11 13:51:33

It sounds fine to me. I am trying to think back to going on holiday with my parents when I was 15. I don't recall being alone while they went off and did things cos I would have wanted to go to, but I didn't stick to them like glue around the hotel. Even at a much younger age, I would go off around the hotel playing with friends while they had drinks after dinner or whatever.

TurkeyBurgerThing Fri 24-Jun-11 13:55:35

15 is definitely not to young. In a few months she'd be legally allowed to get married and have a baby, let alone hang out on her own by a pool.

Step Fri 24-Jun-11 13:55:54

Of course she's old enough. In 12 months time she could theoretically get a job and work! She could be a waitress at the resort. Sunbathing by a pool is hardly a big deal. Our kids merrily go exploring on holiday at 12 and 10.

We wrap 'em up too much.

PrettyMeerkat Fri 24-Jun-11 13:57:02

I got left alone one day age 16 on holiday and nearly did something I shouldn't have with a waiter! I wasn't mature enough to see what I was getting myself into and to think about the dangers etc. It's easy to take advantage of a person that young I think.

No way is 15 too young. My last hol with my mum and dad was when I was 15 - from 16 and over I was going away with friends!!!! YABU

CubiksRube Fri 24-Jun-11 14:19:09

YABU.

At 16 my friends and I were off in Cornwall together, sans parents. At 15, she's old enough to be left by a pool! As long as their holiday wasn't to Darfur, I think she was safe enough.

wearenotinkansas Fri 24-Jun-11 14:20:36

I have a feeling I was only 15, 16 at most, when I went on holiday to Ibiza with my mates - who admittedly were slightly older, and one of them took her much older boyfriend. My main worry was that I would run out of cash - which I nearly did!

ShirleyKnot Fri 24-Jun-11 14:23:33

I went on holiday with my mates the year I left school.

cat64 Fri 24-Jun-11 14:27:28

Message withdrawn

DooinMeCleanin Fri 24-Jun-11 14:29:43

At 15 I was deemed responsible enough to take my 13 year old sister on a pub crawl around Fuengirola on my own. Of course we were not allowed to drink. Of course we obayed the rules hmm

No harm came to us. It was a quiet time of year and the resort is/was fairly small. We were stalked by some Spanish protestors beating drums and a drunken sailor insisted on escorting us back to our parents. He asked my Dad permission to take me out to dinner the next night and my fuckwit father said yes despite me clearly protesting behind the drunken sailors back ,drunken sailor boy was only 17 so it's not as bad as it sounds).

We look back and laugh now, well, they do. I didn't find the drunken sailor bit very funny and I still don't.

Sitting around the pool alone at that age is absolutely fine. YABU.

kenobi Fri 24-Jun-11 14:36:31

When I were 15 (20 whole years ago, admittedly) my mum put me on a train in Banbury to visit my friends in St Moritz, which is two countries and 4 train changes away. I was a very young 15, and though I was terrified I was certainly completely capable of it.

When I were 16, after my GSCEs me and two friends went to Ayia Napa for a week, with one of the mums in nominal attendance (she came with us but did her own thing). It was brilliant, and we totally failed to get mugged/raped/pregnant/alcohol poisoning or anything. Amazing, eh?

Though one of my friends snogged someone who looked like Bart Simpson and we never let her hear the end of it.

As you might be able to tell from my post, I absolutely cannot see the problem here.

kenobi Fri 24-Jun-11 14:38:41

Also, does your DN ever take the train or bus by herself in the UK?

Then she's surrounded by a bunch of strangers anyway. Though not all of them will be 'orrible furriners obviously.

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