to think DH has become very boring

[ranimaji]

all DH wants to do nowadays is sit on the couch.... i stay at home and the house work dsnt take me long
i like going out and doing stuff and try not to nag during weekadays
but on weekends i find it very hard to sit on the counch for hrs on end
and not talking or doing anything jst staring at the tv
i have tried to talk to him but he gets very defensive saying he works very hard
(his job is very demanding)

any advice how to talk to him in a non confrontational way?
its driving me up the wall now for about 2 mnths
and i do feel very naggy nwadays which i dnt like

[LDNmummy]

If I were you I would get a hobby or interest independent of him. It does sound like a very boring existence, sorry to say that, but you stated that his job is very demanding, so it is only understandable that he also wants his weekend down time. It wouldnt really be fair to expect him to do activities on the weekend when he is tired because you are bored. Find something to occupy you so you are fulfilled too.

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

No play makes Jack a dull boy.

No matter how demanding his job, if he's home at a reasonable hour on Friday nights he should have recovered enough to work up a bit of steam by Saturday evenings.

As a reasonable compromise suggest that you go out together once a month (dinner, cinema, meet up with friends, Sunday lunch etc,) and that you entertain at home once a month (barbecue, Sunday lunch, dinner party etc), leaving 2 whole weekends free for your own pursuits i.e slobbing on the sofa for him, catching up with friends/genteel gardening/trip to town/art gallery/museum/local event/jogging/crafting/lurking on mumsnet for you.

To kickstart the process without any confrontation, do you have a couple of friends who can be prevailed upon to invite you both to meet up with them on a Saturday evening or Sunday lunchtime? Accept the invitation in his absence and it'll be a done deal. Hopefully his mind will be taken off work, and he'll enjoy himself so much he'll want a repeat outing.

[ranimaji]

thanx izzywhizzy those r gr8 tips
LDNmummy i m waiting for exam results so thats y m free alot once i start stdying again i will def get busy
i was moping around cz i miss doing stuff as a couple the past two weeks he was off work and spent it in his pyjamas recovering frm work that really annoyed me
anywho i guess its up2 me to get proactive
thanx u guys

[AlpinePony]

YABU to expect anyone else to fill your soul with joy.

You say your husband is 'boring' but you did a grand total of nothing which in my books makes you as 'bad' as each other.

What would you like to do? Ride a bike to a picnic? Visit a museum? Go to a gym class? Have a tennis lesson? Nothing is stopping you do any of this stuff and dare I say it, your husband might find your lack of external influences 'boring'?

Life is great, go out there and grab yourself some. Happiness comes from within, not through the reliance upon others.

[spookshowangel]

i know the feeling and the worse thing about it is it drags you down so you find yourself sitting next to him every night or on the computer or whatever. i went out with my friends a lot, but we never did anything together with the kids or with each other. its hard to be peppy all the time and have your suggestion shat on so eventually you stop making them. i just found it easier in the end to totally do my own thing. depressing but true.