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to ask you to help get me out of this embarrassing situation?

(16 Posts)
DogsBestFriend Thu 23-Jun-11 22:25:26

The brother of my best friend of 30 odd years is marrying on Saturday and best pal is to be a witness. My pal's DP hates weddings and so, a few weeks ago, he asked me to go in her place and with her blessing. I was delighted to accept and have arranged for someone to look after the DC so I can spend tomorrow night at pal's and go to the wedding with him the following morning.

Of course I was under the impression that S has asked the groom if he might take me instead of his DP.


I called best pal tonight to discover that the bugger, "thought it would be nice if it was a surprise!". shock blush

I'm SO embarrassed. I can't back out now (can I? CAN I???). I am (was!) looking forward to catching up with best pal and his DP tomorrow and having the first day and night in 16 years in their company without the DC. I flustered and blustered something about "You can't do that! S! FFS! You just CAN'T!" and my pal laughed and said alright, alright, I'll tell him.

They're a laid-back family, it's not a posh society wedding and they know me and my friendship with pal of old and all are very comfortable with it. X's main reason for not telling was to surprise his Mum and Dad (who I view as my second parents) which is sweet, BUT... !

Oh no, feck me sideways, what am I going to DO?!

My pal is now going to call his parents tomorrow to arrange for me to be able to drop my travelling bag at their house on Saturday morning as it's far nearer the reception than his own home and would make it easier for me to collect it and get home later that afternoon, so his parents will be told and hopefully not mortally offended. I don't think I will offend them per se, they've always treated me as family, but fuck only knows what the groom (and bride) will think. I can't just roll up univited when they're expecting to see pal's DP and being told the day before they wed that best pal is bringing me instead is just not on!


bubblecoral Thu 23-Jun-11 22:29:14

I think your friend has been really out of order here tbh, although if it's a very informal wedding it shouldn't be too bad.

All you can do is act innocent, which you are. Blame your friend completely, and if it gets talked about, act suitably embarrased.

DogsBestFriend Thu 23-Jun-11 22:34:54

bubble, I think he's bloody out of order too and tbh, love him as I do (as a brother before anyone flames me!) I could swing for the git right now!

Too damn right I will make it clear that I wasn't complicit in the subterfuge and yes, I am embarrassed. The thing with S is that he's so laid back he doesn't see it as an issue although I know too that he likes pushing the point that his best pal is female (as if his folk don't already know and as if they give a stuff!).

GreenEyesandHam Thu 23-Jun-11 22:37:16

I wouldn't worry to be honest, you know the family, you've known your friend long enough to trust that they can gauge the family's reaction pretty well.

I suppose there may be a 'hmmph, why didn't so and so's partner want to attend??' but can't see how that will reflect on you

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Thu 23-Jun-11 22:38:02

It's not your problem, or even A problem.

From what you've said, they're a laid back family who are no doubt aware of your pal's dp's aversion to weddings, and I'm sure your pal's dps will be delighted to see you.

As for the bride and groom, they'll have far more to fill their heads than worrying about who bought whom to their wedding and, as long the numbers don't exceed those they've catered for, they're unlikely to turn a hair.

Go and enjoy yourself - the weather's looking good for Saturday and I hope that all concerned have a wonderful day

Bandwitch Thu 23-Jun-11 22:42:14

that's not embarrassing is it? by the sounds of it, they need a small number of witnesses don't they? you're one of those. you're the guest and longtime close friend of the sister of the groom. IF they are surprised to see you there they'll still think that you came because the grooms sister invited you. IF the husband doesn't want to go then the chances are they'd rather you were there. dykwim?

DogsBestFriend Thu 23-Jun-11 22:45:04

God ladies, I hope you're right!

It's soured what was to be a lovely couple of days. I haven't seen pal's DP for years as I have dogs - normally can't leave them so can't visit pal and DP is allergic so she can't come here. Pal visits me, 70 miles from his home, a few times a year. His DP is totally cool about him and I being friends, something for which I am so grateful as I'm aware that she could be completely the other way about it if she chose to and it's going to be lovely to see her, take her wine, chocs and flowers and spend time with her too, she's a really nice woman.

I'm going to murder my bloody mate!

MsTeak Thu 23-Jun-11 22:45:30

I don't see the problem really. Surely he has an invite for him plus one, you're the one, they all know and like you.

Am I missing something?

DogsBestFriend Thu 23-Jun-11 22:46:13

Bandwitch, my friend is a man and his partner a lady but I get what you mean! grin

GreenEyesandHam Thu 23-Jun-11 22:50:27

I'm saying I wouldn't worry BUT I do get what you mean; I would prefer if everyone knew beforehand myself. But from what you've said, I don't think their reaction will be anything to worry about iyswim

veritythebrave Thu 23-Jun-11 22:58:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DogsBestFriend Thu 23-Jun-11 22:59:53

Okaaaay... so then... AIBU to swipe my best friend smartly around the head several times when I meet him at the station tomorrow afternoon? grin

I'm so glad that you lot wouldn't be half as stressed as I am right now!

MsTeak Thu 23-Jun-11 23:03:05

I went to a wedding recently and one guys wife was about to have a baby so he brought her sister!

veritythebrave Thu 23-Jun-11 23:04:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youarekidding Thu 23-Jun-11 23:14:55

Actually I think its sweet.

If your as close to his family as you seem they'll be pleased to see you and may be a nice wedding surprise.

Could it be a weddunion?


<runs and hides>

eurochick Thu 23-Jun-11 23:33:12

I wouldn't stress about it. He should probably have mentioned it to the B&G out of courtesy, but I don't think it's an issue at an informal wedding. Go and enjoy it!

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