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to be this stupid?

(27 Posts)
TakeMeDrunkImHome Thu 23-Jun-11 21:38:11

Isn't really a thread about a thread, more a thread about a fact I have just read in a thread that has made me think I am possibly very stupid [embarassed]

I never really understood what Ms meant - is it really as simple as a way of saying that you are not a Miss (and "belong" to your father) and also not a Mrs (and "belong" to your husband). Im pretty shocked. I had no idea. I actually thought Ms was the term you HAD to use when you had been divorced (as I am) and were therefore no longer a Mrs - a married - or a Miss - an unmarried single. This is very genuine, I haven't name changed or anything. Feel very stupid and also a bit hmm that women still have to have a prefix to their name that is related to which fecking man they "belong" to. Do I need to go back to school [embarassed]

MumblingRagDoll Thu 23-Jun-11 21:41:41

People choose it so they can be anon...some people don't see why strangers should know their marital status by their title when men's titles do not reveal theirs.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Thu 23-Jun-11 21:43:04

Yes I totally agree that women shouldn't have to reveal any marital status if they don't change it is more the fact that I cannot believe that I didn't know this, or rather, didn't understand it properly.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Thu 23-Jun-11 21:43:38

if they don't choose not change (see I AM stupid!)

MumblingRagDoll Thu 23-Jun-11 21:44:31

You can be whatver you want! Ms, Miss or Mrs. There's no law! grin

TakeMeDrunkImHome Thu 23-Jun-11 21:45:42

Well, you live and learn! <sneaks away and hope this thread drops off the page quickly>

Olifin Thu 23-Jun-11 21:47:01

'a bit hmm that women still have to have a prefix to their name that is related to which fecking man they "belong" to'

That's just it though with Ms. Any woman can use it: single, married, divorced, widowed....

caramelwaffle Thu 23-Jun-11 21:47:50

Buuuuuuuuump grin

TakeMeDrunkImHome Thu 23-Jun-11 21:48:58

I really didn't understand it but now I do. <aims serious evils at caramel>

OddBoots Thu 23-Jun-11 21:49:12

At what age can one use Ms? 8y/o dd has started asking, not that she gets called Miss often anyway.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Thu 23-Jun-11 21:50:27

I suppose given what Olifin has said, it can be used at any age. Not that I would know!

Bogeyface Thu 23-Jun-11 21:51:10

I have been married twice and obviously single and divorced at other times too and I have always been Ms since I was old enough to realise I had a choice. For me it really was because i resented people knowing my marital status. There was a time when I first started using it (about 20 years ago) when I was asked several times if I was a lesbian, as it was only die hard feminists and lesbians that used it, or so I was told grin

Thankfully, while I think DH would prefer me to be Mrs because he says he is proud to be married to me and wants everyone to know it, he doesnt push it and accepts my need to be Ms. Taking his name when we were married (or not, as I wanted to keep my maiden name) was another row altogether and is why I am officially double barrelled but "forget" to use the second part of my surname most of the time!

Bogeyface Thu 23-Jun-11 21:52:25

OldBoots, I was about 15 /16 when I started using it. Obviously I got the old "rolled eyes" from my parents who thought it was a phase. Clearly they still do as they send our anniversary cards to Mr and Mrs XX hmm

MsTeak Thu 23-Jun-11 21:56:35

A lot of people think the same as you did, OP, so don't be too embaressed about it. You know now, thats the main thing. smile

EricNorthmansMistress Thu 23-Jun-11 21:57:22

Takemedrunk you've got it grin

Oddboots she can be Ms now - why not?

catsareevil Thu 23-Jun-11 21:59:01

Lots of people dont understand this - you were hardly alone in what you thought. smile

whysolate Thu 23-Jun-11 21:59:57

<links arms with TMDIH>

<whispers> I thought the same as you!

OddBoots Thu 23-Jun-11 22:00:57

Thanks all, I shall (or she can) tick Ms where it occurs for her. smile

veritythebrave Thu 23-Jun-11 22:05:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Thu 23-Jun-11 22:06:11

I'm getting annoyed as I sit here thinking actually; when I moved into new house 4 weeks ago and had to register for gas/elec etc. I did say I was Ms TMDIH (because I am stupid and thought as a divorcee I had to be a Ms) and the woman said I could only be Miss or Mrs hmm

DogsBestFriend Thu 23-Jun-11 22:07:51

I'm Ms (divorced) and was also Ms pre-marriage. I noticed today that DD1, who is 16, has also opted for Ms on her college transport application form.

Atta girl DD1! grin

Garcia10 Thu 23-Jun-11 22:13:28

I hate it when I am asked if it I am 'Miss' or 'Mrs.'. I just don't see that it is relevant. When asked I always say Dr. but then feel a bit pretentious.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Thu 23-Jun-11 22:16:22

I'm going to start saying Lieutenant. (sp?)

whysolate Thu 23-Jun-11 22:16:26

I want to be Lady Whysolate! grin

whysolate Thu 23-Jun-11 22:16:47

X post!

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