I need people to tell me all the reasons I am being unreasonable and to calm the hell down

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

Regular who has name changed as I'm having a toys out the pram moment. And need people to slap some sense into me.

Right, scenario is - I am about to apply for a degree course, total change of career direction recently took redundancy from a job Ive been working in for years that drained my very soul and I hated. Had a really bad few years luck, DH redundant repeatedly, IVF yadda yadda.

Been working towards this application to uni, doing voluntary work in the area, gaining a qualification I need (don't sit exam till december so any offer I get will be conditional on passing that).

A very good friend who knows my background has suddenly decided she quite fancies this career change too. She recently took a qualification which will get her into this degree no problems, however there are only 15 places for the intake I am going after.

So now she's asking questions and saying I hope you don't mind if I go for it too.

Well yes I bloody do mind! But I know I shouldn't. I cant stop her or anyone else from applying! its silly and selfish, and I cant help it but I'm RAGING!

Please come and talk sense into me - I think Ive put so much effort into this application process it feels so precious and Im acting like a spoiled brat.

I need sense talking in bucket loads...please!

[tethersend]

Kill her.

[sparkle12mar08]

I'm with tethers I'm afraid! Don't be sensible, hire a hitman!

[Sparkletastic]

There will be oodles of other people that you don't know going for it too. If you are both successful it will be fab having someone to go through it all with and support one-another. My close friend and I ended up doing the same qualification together and we have kept each other going.

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

That is the option I'm looking at currently tethersend BLOODY BASTARDING BASTARD

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

sparkletastic - see I know that is how I should be reacting but there is a raging 7 year old within thats winning at the moment!

[knobbysEx]

Don't blame you for the way you are feeling....Act like a spoiled brat and rant and rave to DH but DO NOT make a public show of yourself. Keep it together. And make sure your applications trumps hers, and gloat quietly to yourself when you get accepted. Good luck

[stleger]

Does the 'personal statement' make a difference if you stress your voluntary work? If not, do her in

[Binfullofmaggotsonthe45]

I would just get on with doing the best job you can at it and try and blinker out your current feelings.

Or as others have advised - stab er up gud an ting!

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

Knobbys - i have ranted and raved to DH and trying to keep it together in front of her but she's a really close friend Id normally tell this stuff to and i feel like crying WAAH

[BupcakesandCunting]

It's different when you're up against candidates you don't know. It seems a bit tready-on-the-toes, going after the job your mate wants.

Yeah, kill.

[Pandygirl]

It's certain very insensitive of her, I'm not surprised your furious. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it. But that's the kind of thing that makes you question a friendship isn't it?

[Nixea]

Lurk outside the postbox she uses and bribe the postie to give you her application? Don't blame you for being mad though - despite it being irrational it would still have annoyed me no end. Good luck for your application though!

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

stleger personal statement probably makes a difference yes so will have to keep my secret moves to myself now. I bloody hate this

binfull - stabbing up looking appealing

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

Well I surely expected a good dosing of "you're being a bratty little twerp" but it seems people think im not - hurrah!...I think

[Ealingkate]

I would definitely go with the 7 year old.
Would it be nice to be on the course together - or would she be a bit annoyingly brilliant at it??

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

I reckon she'd be annoyingly brilliant. But even more, I reckon she'd get on the course and I wont beats fists on floor

[SuePurblybilt]

You sound like you're in a really good position to get in. And it would be good if you both get on the course - more fun, share books and work and such. So you have 4 outcomes:

You get on, she doesn't. Big boo for her, yay you
She gets on - you don't - kill her
You both do - It's all good
Neither of you get on - drown sorrows together

So that's a 50% chance of being happy. Before she applied either you'd get on the course or not - again a 50% chance of being happy. Same thing then, innit? You're no worse off.

[youarekidding]

I agree with everyone else.

I know what you mean about not being cross but it's human nature to get cross at people scarpering your chances of something when they know how much it means to you. (not saying she has more chance btw )

Try telling her you've changed your mind and are doing X - she may apply for that leaving you to apply for the other. A simple 'oh I'm sure I mentioned I changed my mind again?' should cover your back when you get in.

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

So what should I do if she asks me any more questions about applying etc or wants to talk to me about it? I just want to punch her lights out, and I cant do that, so what should I do?

[youarekidding]

'Oh, I'm not sure what I'm putting for that yet'

'I'm putting ........' (completely outragious suggestion which hopefully she'll copy)

'Oh, I'm not thinking about it yet, theres loads of time'

Just don't really punch her. It will not look good on your PS unless they want really comitted people who will do anything to get to the top.

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

thanks superbly and you arekidding both great suggestions - and you are right Im no better off in reality but in my head im X1million more pissed off if i don't get in and she does

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

youarekidding - like your style...red herrings all the way

[MyToysAreOutOfThePram]

So am I right in think that IM NOT BEING UNREASONABLE??! YEAH, in your face so called friend!

[thegruffalosma]

Give her some 'tips' for her application if you catch my drift making out all the while that you really want her to get on the course don't really do that it's mean

[TCOB]

I'm with everyone else - but objectively SuePurbly's analysis is very grown-up. Is your friend very passive-aggressive?. Could you mention to her that you are thinking of having an affair and would she mind awfully if you had it with her partner?? [mwahhhh emoticon]