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I need people to tell me all the reasons I am being unreasonable and to calm the hell down

(93 Posts)
MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:35:15

Regular who has name changed as I'm having a toys out the pram moment. And need people to slap some sense into me.

Right, scenario is - I am about to apply for a degree course, total change of career direction recently took redundancy from a job Ive been working in for years that drained my very soul and I hated. Had a really bad few years luck, DH redundant repeatedly, IVF yadda yadda.

Been working towards this application to uni, doing voluntary work in the area, gaining a qualification I need (don't sit exam till december so any offer I get will be conditional on passing that).

A very good friend who knows my background has suddenly decided she quite fancies this career change too. She recently took a qualification which will get her into this degree no problems, however there are only 15 places for the intake I am going after.

So now she's asking questions and saying I hope you don't mind if I go for it too.

Well yes I bloody do mind! But I know I shouldn't. I cant stop her or anyone else from applying! its silly and selfish, and I cant help it but I'm RAGING!

Please come and talk sense into me - I think Ive put so much effort into this application process it feels so precious and Im acting like a spoiled brat.

I need sense talking in bucket loads...please!

tethersend Thu 23-Jun-11 20:37:03

Kill her.

sparkle12mar08 Thu 23-Jun-11 20:38:09

I'm with tethers I'm afraid! Don't be sensible, hire a hitman!

Sparkletastic Thu 23-Jun-11 20:38:21

There will be oodles of other people that you don't know going for it too. If you are both successful it will be fab having someone to go through it all with and support one-another. My close friend and I ended up doing the same qualification together and we have kept each other going.

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:38:52

That is the option I'm looking at currently tethersend BLOODY BASTARDING BASTARD

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:39:50

sparkletastic - see I know that is how I should be reacting but there is a raging 7 year old within thats winning at the moment!

knobbysEx Thu 23-Jun-11 20:39:59

Don't blame you for the way you are feeling....Act like a spoiled brat and rant and rave to DH but DO NOT make a public show of yourself. Keep it together. And make sure your applications trumps hers, and gloat quietly to yourself when you get accepted. Good luck

stleger Thu 23-Jun-11 20:40:47

Does the 'personal statement' make a difference if you stress your voluntary work? If not, do her in wink

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 Thu 23-Jun-11 20:41:04

I would just get on with doing the best job you can at it and try and blinker out your current feelings.

Or as others have advised - stab er up gud an ting!

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:42:39

Knobbys - i have ranted and raved to DH and trying to keep it together in front of her but she's a really close friend Id normally tell this stuff to and i feel like crying WAAH

BupcakesandCunting Thu 23-Jun-11 20:43:30

It's different when you're up against candidates you don't know. It seems a bit tready-on-the-toes, going after the job your mate wants.

Yeah, kill.

Pandygirl Thu 23-Jun-11 20:43:58

It's certain very insensitive of her, I'm not surprised your furious. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it. But that's the kind of thing that makes you question a friendship isn't it?

Nixea Thu 23-Jun-11 20:44:11

Lurk outside the postbox she uses and bribe the postie to give you her application? Don't blame you for being mad though - despite it being irrational it would still have annoyed me no end. Good luck for your application though!

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:44:22

stleger personal statement probably makes a difference yes so will have to keep my secret moves to myself now. I bloody hate this

binfull - stabbing up looking appealing

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:45:44

Well I surely expected a good dosing of "you're being a bratty little twerp" but it seems people think im not - hurrah!...I think

Ealingkate Thu 23-Jun-11 20:46:51

I would definitely go with the 7 year old.
Would it be nice to be on the course together - or would she be a bit annoyingly brilliant at it??

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:48:17

I reckon she'd be annoyingly brilliant. But even more, I reckon she'd get on the course and I wont beats fists on floor

SuePurblybilt Thu 23-Jun-11 20:48:32

You sound like you're in a really good position to get in. And it would be good if you both get on the course - more fun, share books and work and such. So you have 4 outcomes:

You get on, she doesn't. Big boo for her, yay you smile
She gets on - you don't - kill her sad
You both do - It's all good smile
Neither of you get on - drown sorrows together sad

So that's a 50% chance of being happy. Before she applied either you'd get on the course or not - again a 50% chance of being happy. Same thing then, innit? You're no worse off.

<cracks genius knuckles and sits back in smugness>

youarekidding Thu 23-Jun-11 20:48:33

I agree with everyone else.

I know what you mean about not being cross but it's human nature to get cross at people scarpering your chances of something when they know how much it means to you. (not saying she has more chance btw blush)

Try telling her you've changed your mind and are doing X - she may apply for that leaving you to apply for the other. A simple 'oh I'm sure I mentioned I changed my mind again?' should cover your back when you get in. grin

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:49:40

So what should I do if she asks me any more questions about applying etc or wants to talk to me about it? I just want to punch her lights out, and I cant do that, so what should I do?

youarekidding Thu 23-Jun-11 20:52:33

'Oh, I'm not sure what I'm putting for that yet'

'I'm putting ........' (completely outragious suggestion which hopefully she'll copy) <evil emotion>

'Oh, I'm not thinking about it yet, theres loads of time' <go home and re draft PS for 5th time>

Just don't really punch her. It will not look good on your PS unless they want really comitted people who will do anything to get to the top. grin

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:52:45

thanks superbly and you arekidding both great suggestions - and you are right Im no better off in reality but in my head im X1million more pissed off if i don't get in and she does <boo hoo>

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:53:50

youarekidding - like your herrings all the way <mwahahahaaa>

MyToysAreOutOfThePram Thu 23-Jun-11 20:55:19

So am I right in think that IM NOT BEING UNREASONABLE??! YEAH, in your face so called friend! <cries>

thegruffalosma Thu 23-Jun-11 20:55:36

Give her some 'tips' for her application if you catch my drift making out all the while that you really want her to get on the course don't really do that it's mean

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