to want to give up and run away?(12 Posts)
Life is putting us through the wringer at the moment and I seem to be spending most of my time either sobbing or with a just-bubbling-below-the-surface mixture of pent up frustration, sadness and rage which is looking to escape.
This is the short version of why I am upset at the moment:
Am pretty sure I will be fired tomorrow, as my boss has made it very clear that he hates me and had been trying to get rid of me from day one!
Lack of job means back to no money, no way to feed my children, pay bills etc..
My landlord is threatening to evict us because of a mistake the council made with housing benefit.
I have just lost my appeal for a school place for DS1, meaning that he has no school place for September.
There is probably more but I can't remember at the moment just want to go to sleep and wake up when things are easier
All this has happened in the last week and I am just feeling so overwhelmed I want to explode, I just don't know how to deal with things at the moment!
write it all down, make a list and deal with each problem , one at a time .
You know what I would do- find a new house to rent next door to the school you want DS1 to go to and re submit your appeal. As for job, you don't want to work with people who make you feel bad.. Start looking now..
When I'm overwhelmed I do find lists helpful. Good luck with it all.
So sorry this as happened to you but your boss can't sack you just because he doesn't like you, he needs to give you verbal warnings and written warnings, don't let him bully you.
OK - have you done anything to warrant being fired? If not see the CAB for advice.
You have to be housed and you have to be given a school place for your son (even if it wouldn't be your first choice) just keep on to the people you need to.
As pumpernickel says, you can't be fired from a job just because your boss doesn't like you. As others have said, wait until you are calmer and write a list of everything you have to deal with and then try your best to deal with each one. If you need advice you can use the citizens advice, they are usually very helpful. Don't let things get on top of you because then everything becomes overwhelming and you find it hard to see straight and focus on ANYTHING. Best of luck.
It does sound like a really bad time for you right now. I don't have any great advice, except to say I had a similar time last year, at points I just wondered why bother it was all so terribly stressful, but it does get better, bit by bit. It sounds like the work situation is coming to a head, in some ways it is better to know what is happening than spend so much energy fearing the worst (which may not actually happen). See what happens tomorrow, as that will tell you what your options are re. housing.
Do you have any friends/family you could lean on in a crisis, or even just have a good cry to. I always feel terrible if I think a friend has been trying to cope on their own without telling me or asking for help, there may be someone who could listen and help you think through ideas.
As for school places, your son will get a place just not where you want, but I can understand how tired you are of fighting everything.
It will improve, one thing at a time. See what happens tomorrow and get some RL support if you can, you will get through this tears or no tears as clearly have a lot about you if you have been working/fighting appeals on behalf of your son.
Perfect post above.
Believe me ( )it could be worse......that doesn't help I know.....
extremepie I know exactly how you feel, have a read of my thread from a while back here
You are having a rough old time of it right now, but trust me when i say things do get better. You need to tackle each thing one at a time head on and deal with it.
So first thing; You say your going to get fired tomorrow. Does your boss have a reason?
If not - then let them fire you, then walk straight into CAB and call Acas on 08457 47 47 47 and start the process to sue for unfair dismissal, loss of earnings, then go to the doctors and get a sick note for stress and some pills then when you sue the ass off the company you can add stress and depression to the list of harm they have caused you.
If they have a reason to sack you - Get in there first, hand in your notice and say its due to the way your boss treats you. Quiting always looks better than being fired.
Next, You say your going to be evicted
Your landlord cannot just evict you, he has to give you a certain amount of time to put right what has gone wrong. So call the council, find out what is happening with your housing benefit and get them to write you a letter to give to your landlord explaining THEIR cock up. If this doesnt work and your landlord wants to serve you notice then let him, you will have plenty of time to find something else. You can be forgiven for being abit awkward if he refuses to help you.
Get yourself down to the housing office and get your name on the housing lists this starts a process for you.
Lastly, your DS school place.
Now i am not to sure how these things work my DD is only 17 months, however i am sure that if you contact the board who deals with the applications you will be able to get a place in a school somewhere within travelling distance for the time being. If you move you may become eligable for a different place at a more suitable school.
Things always seem alot worse than they really are (i really do know how your feeling) but i promise they do get better. xx
Thanks for the advice, I'm just getting so fed up with having to struggle with everything, why can't life just be easy!
I have started another thread about making a formal complaint about my boss for the way he treats me, I am due to have a 'hearing' today about my unsuccessful trial period, which is supposed to be done at head office in London by an OPS manager but is actually being done by my manager, in the shop
The reasons given for this are that I've been late 3 times, one of which was for a meeting, not a shift, and the other 2 were because I turned up 5 minutes late due to my autistic son being up all night and I was exhausted after 3/4 hours sleep! I personally don't think these are valid grounds to sack me but not sure where the company stands on this. Trial period is also supposed to be 12 weeks but I have only been there 6 weeks.
The issue with the landlord is due to a problem with housing benefit, I have told him this, I have given in all the relevant info they want, done everything I've been asked to do and he STILL is saying that he wants to serve me notice even though I can do nothing else at this point except wait for housing to give me a decision. We can't really move because we have no money for a new deposit, and only got the house we are in with the help of the council's rent deposit system. They told us when we moved in that if we are evicted because of rent arrears that they will not be obliged to re-house us.
So basically if the landlord evicts us we will be homeless and the council will not help
DS's school place is, I fear, a bit of a lost cause at the moment. I phone the school admissions place yesterday and asked them what other options I have and they told me....none. I just have to wait on the list (number 23) until a place comes up. So unless 22 other children are offered a place, my DS will be without a school place.
Sorry to vent it all on here but I don't really have any RL friends! That makes me sound really sad but I don't really, they all lost interest in hanging out with me when I had babies and stopped having the time or money to go out with them all the time. I could chat to my Mom about it but I think she's probably sick of hearing me moan!
Anyways, thanks for listening
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