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to teach my DC that apologising is about mollifying the other party?

(4 Posts)
ChaosTrulyReigns Wed 22-Jun-11 23:22:35

Rather than just uttering the word Sorr-reeeeeee through gritted teeth?

Someone I am in contact with lets her DC off with the most rude sorries (?) I have ever heard - no feeling, nothing to convince that there's any remorse been felt. and, lawks does this boy have to alopogise a feck of a lot--.

Surely alopogising is about the victim's feelings not about some nod to expectations?

That's not teaching about contrition is it?

angry

diggingintheribs Wed 22-Jun-11 23:32:25

Agree

apologising is about two things

firstly, identifying that you have something to apologise for
secondly, letting the 'victim' know that you feel remorse (so it does have to be a true apology)

I think the first is more important as the second is not up to the person making the apology. The 'victim' can ultimately do what they like with their apology!

Sounds like that boy isn't achieving either

thegruffalosma Wed 22-Jun-11 23:40:45

There's a third one - apologising to appease your mum/dad because you will be in trouble if you don't. He is meeting that criteria cos you say they let him off. They need to teach him to, at least, sound like he means it.

worraliberty Wed 22-Jun-11 23:42:59

YANBU

I've stood there before and made my kids say 'sorry' over and over till they lose the sarcastic tone!

I know being made to say sorry...is false in itself if you don't 'feel' sorry...but on the other hand, they do eventually learn that a sarcastic sorry is often worse than whatever it was they did.

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