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to tell ex fuck all???

(9 Posts)
spookshowangel Wed 22-Jun-11 21:20:33

am newly pregnant grin, sent my ex a text message just informing him so he didnt find out threw the grape vine before it became public knowledge. he has been fine for a couple of days but all of a sudden to yesterday he started messaging me on fb asking me personal details and telling me he knows what its like me being pregnant so he can help, and he is he if i want to talk.
i ignore these messages as though we are mostly amicable we are not even friends on fb. today he starts ringing me apparently about our dd beavers but then the conversation quickly turns to talk of the pregnancy. i tell him that i am not willing to discuss that with him and i will see him at 6.30 as i have barely got my own head round it and it is between me and my bf and say goodbye.
he phones me 5 more times over the course of the day and texts me asking the same questions about beavers and getting more and more irate about the pregnancy. the last phone call he seemed quite drunk and started shouting he had a right to know what is going on with me, we have 3 dc together and he deserves to know what is going on with my body and my health.
any way i got bf to come over as was feeling a bit vulnerably and upset exh came up and started again , he had a right to know what was going on with something that was going to effect his children so significantly, he became quite upset. i asked him to leave as he was drunk (is alcoholic) my daughter then said to me why didnt you just answer his questions.
so mn jury aibu to think its none of my ex's business how far along i am, or if i am happy about it, whats going to happen at christmas, or if i want a boy or a girl, or if bf is fine about it?
or am i right in thinking that if its not to do with the kids we have then its bugger all to do with him?

lalabaloo Wed 22-Jun-11 21:29:22

Firstly, congratulations! Of course YANBU, he seems to be very controlling. If I were you I would assure him that it will have no negative impact on the DCs you have already, and refuse to discuss further until you are ready to (if ever). As long as there are no concerns over the other children's wellbeing or changes in access etc then he has no right to question you and certainly no right to intimidate you. If it continues or he becomes verbally or physically aggressive then you really should contact the police x

PrinceHumperdink Wed 22-Jun-11 21:29:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spookshowangel Wed 22-Jun-11 21:35:23

hahahahaha prince

kaid100 Wed 22-Jun-11 21:41:32

YANBU, but is it possible he thinks this pregnancy might be his too? If you split up within the last nine months he might be confused and think this is another baby of his? Even so, it's definitely not the right way for him to react.

spookshowangel Wed 22-Jun-11 21:42:47

ummmmmmmmm its been two years, there is no chance the baby is his [shudder emocon]

PrinceHumperdink Wed 22-Jun-11 21:44:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spookshowangel Wed 22-Jun-11 21:50:05

i think the reason she thinks that is because i try to stay calm and reasoned he tends to act like well a child and i look like the bad guy because he looks like he is upset.
i just told her that if it was about her or her brother or sister then her dad had every right to ask me as many questions as he wanted but when it came to me he didnt have that right any more and it was upsetting me because he was being very angry about it but she didnt have to worry and that we would sort it.

bubblecoral Wed 22-Jun-11 22:00:15

YANBU if those are the sort of questions he's asking, but I think it's understandable that he would be a bit concerned about his own children. I very much wanted to know how my ex's new baby was going to impact on my dc, and I'm happily married to someone else and don't care what he does when he's not with my dc. We get on well and everything is good between us, but I will admit to finding it wierd at first that he was also going to be Daddy to someone elses dc and not just mine anymore.

That said, your ex sounds like a twonk.

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