Need a nice, long, very possibly U, rant...(21 Posts)
Yep, Peanut is on the warpath.
I'm starting to suspect that two weeks with DParents was a bad, bad, fucking horrendous idea. So, please, please, PLEASE feel free to tell me I'm being an unreasonable bitch who deserves a slap with a wet kipper.
Firstly, DS has been a bit of a pain since we got here. Normally, he's pretty good. I'm not sure if it's the heat, or the excitement of seeing Nanny and Grandad, but up until 3 days ago, he was regularly telling me to "shut up" or "be quiet", neither of which are phrases I use. So, there I am trying to discipline him, when DM butts in.
Mealtimes have been a bit shoite. I'm blaming the heat, although, again, it could be showing off. But every meal time, DM is using desserts as a bribe. Something I never do. But DM's sat there saying "If you don't eat your dinner, DS, you won't get any ice cream". Before this, no one had flipping well mentioned the fucking ice cream. So now, he starts playing up. Every. Fucking. Time she mentions it. She expects him to clear his plate every time, and even out in a restaurant the other day, moaned at him for not eating a burger, despite the fact he'd eaten the meat of the burger and not the bread.
DFather seems intent on tormenting DS. He'll do something and DS will whinge about it. Earlier, he was squirting DS with some water pistol, which, TBH, pissed me off when I was on the receiving end. DS kept moaning, yet DF kept on. When I asked him to stop tormenting DS, I got tutting and told I was ruining the fun.
Now, this is probably being a bit PFB, and I will accept being told I'm being VPFB, but still. We're supposed to be going to a waterpark tomorrow. Now, we've been to the same waterpark two years running, and there is another one, an equal distance in the other direction. Now, with the one we went to the previous two years, I found it hard to enjoy myself. DS was terrified of a large water bucket which would fill up and empty over the kids' play area. It would roar, as it emptied, causing DS to scream and refuse to go near the kids' slides. So this year, I asked if we could try the other waterpark. When asked why, I explained that I wanted to see if DS reacted better to this one (I know it doesn't have the same bucket feature, and the kids' area felt less intimidating last time we went there.) I was accused of not letting him get over his fears, yada yada. AIBU for not wanting to spend 3 hours with a DS who's terrified of one feature at one park, when there's a less intimidating park round the corner?
Also, does anyone please have any ear plugs? Because if I hear the phrase "I hate queers" come out of DM's mouth one more fucking time, I will not be held responsible for my fucking actions. I've counted 4 times over six days for NO FUCKING GOD DAMN REASON!
Nope, YADNBU. They sound horrendous. Does your DP know how you feel about all this? Because he should, and he should be backing you up. Your DM sounds unbelievably dreadful, bribery, bigotry - any other vices beginning with B?
I'd never, never, never go again.
The interfering over food and telling off is normal and the water pistol stuff is probably your DF's idea of playing.
The stuff about the park is stupid and worth putting your foot down over. There's one you know won't upset him close by and he's 2 years old. I don't think he needs to 'get over his fears' in the next day or two.
The language from your mother would have me packing. She can think what she wants but speaking like that in front of you and your DS is not acceptable.
I don't know how I decided your DS was two
He's 3, puffin.
Pointy, I'm a lone parent, so no DP to back me up. And, unfortunatel, never really learnt to tell DM to naff off. I feel fucking useless over this. Really do
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. They sound horrid. Sounds like my MIL always going on about "those Asians". Ugh. Two weeks away with them was interesting to say the least. Good thing we didn't have our boy at the time!
I have to say I like the way you write, it's very entertaining!
You're not useless at all. It's hard to stand up to parents. If you don't you can feel like a child again and if you do and they are annoyed they can make you feel like an ungrateful teenager.
Don't beat yourself up. You are an adult and a mother. You know what's best for your DS. Pick the biggest battle and stick to your guns- IMO the water park choice. He's 3 , he doesn't need to conquer his fears on this trip. Think of the most confident, together person you can. Someone you admire. What would they say? How would they act? Then imagine yourself doing it. You don't need to justify your decision or get upset. It's not up for debate. It's fact, like the sky being blue. You're going to the other park. You might feel stressed, but on the surface you'll be calm.
Ignore all the other stuff for now and just focus on this one thing you can do for your DS. You can't change a dynamic that's taken years to establish overnight. Instead of thinking about the things you feel you've failed on, concentrate on doing this one thing - sticking to your choice and not getting angry or upset. Once you've done it once, it will become easier, and when you feel like you can tackle them over the bigger stuff, some of the smaller stuff like the food issues won't seem such a big deal. They'll still annoy you though
Thanks, Puffin. I seriously DO feel like I'm 15 again... I used to say DM was the only person who could make me feel like this. Now I realise it's DFather as well... Ah well, will stick my guns tomorrow... and possibly lose my hair in the process
Peanut, going by the description I think you are in Cyprus, and not wanting to go to Fasouri WP, but instead wanting to go to Paphos.
I've got to say, Paphos is Much Much better for toddlers. My DD, who is fearless enough to go on the Black Hole in Fasouri (at 3 yrs) was also terrified by the bucket. Even at 5 she would sprint to the tower as soon as it was emptied, and scream every time it went over.
Paphos is MUCH calmer. Seriously, I'd agree you need to put your foot down on this one
(and half way between - Pissouri? It's prob quicker to Paphos in any case)
LtEve, you got it in one [beingstalked.gif]
And yes, it is a bit quicker to Paphos, from what I remember. But thank you! Someone with experience... Mum's getting used to the MN quotes, so may need to point your post out... TY!
PS, your DD braved the black hole? I screamed all the way down the thing...
Just mention the Weils disease at Fasouri, that should help change their
Peanut sending you a v v v large which you thoroughly deseve for not losing it big time
Put your foot down re the water park. After all what will they do - ground you?
Peanut, I screamed all the way down too, DD laughed! When we got to the bottom DD was asked "were you scared?" she answered "No, but mum was" . The only ride she didn't go on was the Kamakazi, she was too small right up until we left (and was most put out!)
Have you been to the Paphos Bird Park? You can hand feed the Giraffes! Ladies Mile beach in Limassol (Akrotiri end) is fab for kids too, really shallow and safe.
Try to enjoy yourself - I find a few Brandy Sours of an evening really helps!
Oh goodness, he's 3 - still a wee thing, a toddler. Your parents are having too many high expectations. YANBU!
YANBU even the phrase "clear your plate" makes my TEETH ITCH! Clear it? What? Tables are cleared...not plates ffs. A 3 year old knows what it need to eat...standup for him! I couldn't cope with that.
As for water pistols they're banned here...most small kids can't cope with them...its horrible getting squirted.
Bless, YANBU and I am sure that your parents are my PILs They mean well but are from a different era when children were standardly
bullied toughened up for life rather than allowed to be happy. The food thing is annoying but probably okay to let ride and you can re-establish no-high-drama matter of fact eating when you get home.
A whole family were hospitalised after a visit to Fassouri a year ago due to Weils. Of course you don't have to let the truth spoil a good story, it could have been 20 families
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