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to think this is ungrateful?

(59 Posts)
herbietea Wed 22-Jun-11 20:13:57

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GypsyMoth Wed 22-Jun-11 20:15:34

look on your netmums local,they are always for sale on there....or wont she have secondhand?

yanbu

SuePurblybilt Wed 22-Jun-11 20:18:04

Eh? Your sister is buying nothing for the baby, the niece is buying nothing, you are the only person buying and they're quibbling? hmm
I would email back saying you can't afford the swinging chair and have decided to wait until the baby is born to get something instead. Tbh it sounds like your sister is worse than the niece - at least she has the excuse of being young and pg.

PrinceHumperdink Wed 22-Jun-11 20:18:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreatBallsOfFluff Wed 22-Jun-11 20:18:27

I guess it depends on how she said it tbh.

If it was in a "I want you to buy me one of those swinging chairs" way, then YANBU and she is very cheeky.

But if she was saying it in a way which suggests she'd buy it herself, then I don't think she's meaning to be ungrateful. I think she's just not fully aware of how much a baby can cost. I remember when I was pregnant with DD and I just wanted the best of everything for her (even if with hindsight the 'best, most expensive items' were not always the best) and if I could have afforded it, I would've got the most expensive of everything.

Anyway I think it is rreally really lovely of you to offer it smile

MrsTwinks Wed 22-Jun-11 20:18:51

half and half tbh,

In her position I would have said "i dont think i'd use it tbh, but if you still wanted to get something useful, could you put toward X"

so she is being unreasonable in the way shes phrased it, but not in saying no. She doesnt want you to waste your money on something she wont use and (if shes staying with her mum) might not have room for? Maybe its even the way Dsis passed on the message to you?

Grumpla Wed 22-Jun-11 20:19:02

Email her back saying "That's fine, if you have other plans re baby chair I'll pop the £40 we were planning to spend on the bouncy chair in baby's child trust fund instead." Then just give her the things you have knitted.

SenoritaViva Wed 22-Jun-11 20:20:29

YANBU. Haven't got much more else to add really.

MissPenteuth Wed 22-Jun-11 20:22:20

I think she's being cheeky if she's expecting you to fork out for something more expensive than your initial offer. But I can sort of see her point if she's decided she doesn't want a bouncy chair. I suppose in her situation beggars can't be choosers, but if someone had bought me something I didn't want or need I'd have (secretly) wished they'd bought me something else.

Could you give her vouchers to the value of the bouncy chair, and she can put it towards a swinging chair, if that's what she's got her heart set on?

AmberLeaf Wed 22-Jun-11 20:24:07

I'd rather get someone something they will definitely use.

Grumpla, that's superb advice, actually! You're still being generous and she can kick herself for not having new toys to play with. Good call!

OP - I don't think YABU. I think that she is not behaving well. That shows... well I'm sorry for sounding old-fashioned - like a total lack of manners and good upbringing (NO OFFENCE TO YOUR FAMILY, BUT HTERE YOU GO).

I think you're being lovely to be the one member of the family to go against the grain, and she shouldnt' be so ungrateful.

Meh. The youth of today exits stage left, muttering to myself, shaking my blue rinse and sucking violet cachous...

PenguinArmy Wed 22-Jun-11 20:25:11

It's hard as it's via email, but you could suggest that it is out of your price range unless she's happy with a second hand one, but you are happy to pay x amount towards it. Although it's great you've offered to help, it is understandable she wants to pick one herself. I would offer to take her shopping with her knowing what your budget is.

Anyway speak to her directly and then take it from there

cat64 Wed 22-Jun-11 20:26:39

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herbietea Wed 22-Jun-11 20:28:55

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PenguinArmy Wed 22-Jun-11 20:31:07

well just email back stating your position.

Fifis25StottieCakes Wed 22-Jun-11 20:32:20

Tell her you are willing to get her the swing chair second hand or a new bouncy chair.

YANBU

Fifis25StottieCakes Wed 22-Jun-11 20:33:47

If shes on benefits she will get a £500 maternity grant i think

herbietea Wed 22-Jun-11 20:34:19

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youarekidding Wed 22-Jun-11 20:34:43

Does sound like the email is from your Dsis not DN. I agree contact her direct. Shes not a baby and soon to be a mother of her own - this will be her first lesson in assertiveness and gratitude.

PrinceHumperdink Wed 22-Jun-11 20:35:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trixymalixy Wed 22-Jun-11 20:35:29

Get her mothercare vouchers then to the value you were going to spend.

PrinceHumperdink Wed 22-Jun-11 20:36:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

herbietea Wed 22-Jun-11 20:37:23

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SherlockHolmes Wed 22-Jun-11 20:43:22

I would take it as she doesn't want you to waste your hard-earned cash on something that won't get used.

inatrance Wed 22-Jun-11 20:43:44

I got a spotless swing for £5 off eBay! I would just email back any say as someone else said that you have a budget of X which will buy a new bouncy chair or second hand swing. Your sis and dn also need a lesson in manners!

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