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AIBU?

I've just witnessed something really awful and I don't have a clue what to do aboutit

39 replies

ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 17:53

I was walking DD back from after school club and I saw a little boy of 5-6 with lots of blood all over his hands and face. I was in absolute shock at what I saw and then I turned behind me realised his CM was standing with a group of other Mums talking. She and they seemed to be ignoring the little boy and just talking together, although I didn't understand the language so they might have been talking about what had happened to him.

I know his CM she is in the next road and I see her with him and her other charges so I looked directly at her as if to say WTF and then she walked up to him with a tissue but seemed to be scolding him. By then I was walking away, which I feel shit about Sad Really he had such an awful injury he should have been in A&E and from what I saw she had the sense of urgency as if it were a playground graze.

I don't have a clue what to do I just keep thinking about his shocked face and the fact that she hadn't even stopped to see to him. But I know it was a snapshot though and maybe, hopefully she will take him to be checked over. It looked like a gash on his head but his hands were covered too. We do have a mutual friend - shall I ask her if she knew what happened?

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worraliberty · 22/06/2011 17:56

How do you know it was an injury and not a nose bleed?

If the child is prone to bad nose bleeds, that could explain her calmness.

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valiumredhead · 22/06/2011 17:56

What was the actual injury? Are you sure it wasn't a bad nose bleed?

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LolaRennt · 22/06/2011 17:56

maybe the boy was prone to nose bleeds? try not to feel bad, do some digging if it will make you feel better

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worraliberty · 22/06/2011 17:56

Also, it might explain the scolding because she could well have told him to 'stop jumping' or doing something she knows brings them on?

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valiumredhead · 22/06/2011 17:56

X posted!

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ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 17:57

I will be back to this as soon as I can I am putting dd to bed

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/06/2011 17:57

yy I was going to say nose bleed

always best to stay calm to not panic the child or others with you

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LolaRennt · 22/06/2011 17:57

xposted nose bleed it was Grin

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JamieAgain · 22/06/2011 17:57

I think there are lots of unknowns here but what you seem to be saying is that the CM didn't seem to be showing the right level of concern or comfort for him. This would definitely upset me too. I don't see the harm in asking the friend. Are you wondering if the mum should be told how the CM was behaving?

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ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 17:58

possibly yes I suppose, but it looked like a gash on his eyebrow

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JamieAgain · 22/06/2011 17:59

Didn't even think of nosebleed Blush. No-one in my family ever has them. That might well explain it

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TheOriginalFAB · 22/06/2011 18:00

Even if it was a nosebleed I feel a child needs compassion and kindness.

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BluddyMoFo · 22/06/2011 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 22/06/2011 18:01

The 'gash' could have been a snotty line of congealed blood if he put his hands to his nose and rubbed his face?

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MrsTwinks · 22/06/2011 18:01

ok if it was how you interpreted it YANBU, however

I doubt all those mothers would have stood by, maybe a nosebleed or he picked a scab?? I would ask to put your mind at rest but IMO its a bit soon to be judging her as you didnt see the cause for the blood.

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worraliberty · 22/06/2011 18:03

Good point..a picked scab would also explain the lack of compassion if she'd been telling him repeatedly to leave it alone.

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youonlygetonelife · 22/06/2011 18:03

Probably a nose bleed. If your young child is prone to them (as mine was) the best thing to do it remain very calm and matter of fact and not that interested. Then the child learns to stay calm, learns to deal with it themselves (which they need to learn) and doesn't end up hysterical and dramatic every time. She might have been saying 'come on now, you know you keep a tissue in your pocket for when this happens'. Also worth pointing out that often my child doesn't realise he is having a nose bleed until it already looks pretty gory - it can be a lot of blood, very painlessly and quickly.

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ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 18:05

My concerns are really 1. that I think she hugely misjudged his injury and danger to go into shock in a young child with a nasty bleeding cut

  1. I would hate to think my child was not comforted and assessed properly in a situation like this - what really worried me was that she had his back to him talking whilst he was shivering quite a way down the road so she had just left him.
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ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 18:06

Yes I know what I witnessed was a snapshot absolutely I don't know exactly what happened but just an instinct

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ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 18:07

no way a picked scab

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mamas12 · 22/06/2011 18:09

do you know the mother and can you engineer a how was little xxx by the way?

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MrsTwinks · 22/06/2011 18:10

eyebrow cuts can be gushers. I've done it to myself and everyone thought I'd smashed my head open.

Her lack of conpassion could be due to whatever caused the bleeding, ie; kid picked at it and it bled. YANBU to worry but you are to judge without knowing the full story. Ask your mutual friend if you are really worried, and pass on your concerns if justified. Just accept it might be one of those things like have been pointed out.

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zandy · 22/06/2011 18:12

So you just walked past a bleeding child, in shock, and did nothing more than give a 'look' to his minder? Perhaps I'm missing something.

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ohhappyday · 22/06/2011 18:17

YADNBU - I would report it. It is obviously worrying you. Go with your instincts that's what they are there for. Chances cannot be taken with childrens wellbeing. How bad would you feel if something comes up in the future re: this woman. If its nothing, then no harm done. Maybe only to the feelings of the CM but then she is a paid professional and should be able to cope with an investigation. This is not a damaged toy we are talking about its a little boy even if he had a nosebleed etc she is not doing her job properly - I don't care what anyone else thinks CM's are paid to look after children and should treat them with care and respect no matter the circumstances. Report it.

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DeWe · 22/06/2011 18:17

I go very easily into shock and mum used to sound very sharp to me with bloody injuries as if she offered sympathy I would be worse. I never worried that she didn't care though.

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