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to chop the hedge nice and low? (aka is revenge a dish best served cold?)

(122 Posts)
Rosietheriveter28 Tue 21-Jun-11 16:27:53

First post in AIBU so here goes - a bit of background (it's long sorry)

I moved to London 5 years ago with my autistic DS - we found the most amazing maisonette flat and to this day, I still love the flat itself. However for the last 5 years I have effectively been bullied by my neighbour who lives downstairs. I couldn't go into every single incident but here's a tasty roundup:

- Telling me I made the place look like 'a council house' when actually I am the one who has primarily maintained the joint areas. I feel though tbh this was a jibe at being a single parent

- Having a weird obsession with my washing machine - having a go for putting it on at night, putting it on too much "why do you need to do so much washing anyway" and then when I got a tumble dryer it was that. I should point out it makes no more noise than any other washing machine I have ever encountered. Even when I bought special rubber matting to appease this, it wasn't enough. Add to that noise about the TV / talking with my friends when they come over etc etc - I often wonder if she sits with her ear to the ceiling.

- Having a go at me for 'stomping' to the toilet too late at night. We absolutely, certainly do not stomp around anywhere. In fact I constantly would remind DS to tip toe everywhere which looking back was pointless and stupid. In fact so many things we did to appease her were pointless as she just found something new to complain about.

- Banging on the door and shouting at my babysitter for shouting up the stairs once for my DS to come down and get his coat on

- Continually telling me that I shouldn't be in a flat with a child.

-Then putting up a 6ft fence down the middle of the shared garden without consulting / telling me

-Pushing fag butts under my door that she found in her garden that she is convinced came from me. I didn't even smoke.

Anyway, that was supposed to be a round up. There's loads more petty and ultimately bizarre things. As you can see they are not huge incidences in themselves but over 5 years it has totally worn me down. If I pass her she looks at me as if she scraped me off her shoe. I am now thankfully moving but I received another lovely note from her the other day telling me to cut the hedge at the front of the garden. She claims that since she has paid for it every year except last year (not true, I actually cut it myself the first two years she was here, which she seems to have forgotten, plus the fact I was the only one who mowed the last for the first 2 years too) that I had to fulfill my obligations to maintain the shared areas and 'address the imbalance.'

Now, I'm moving in approximately 2 weeks. I'm currently dealing with DS's transition to secondary school and I am also interviewing for jobs - it's not a huge priority and since I paid for it last year, I had assumed she would pay for it this year. I am worried about her making my life hell before I move. Everyone I know thinks I should just ignore it and let her get on with it.

However, when I used to cut it myself, I asked her if we could cut it down low to make it easier (as it's currently over 6 ft) and she said no because she wanted it to completely cover her windows. (Windows I should point out have those plantation shutters on them so kinda private) There's a teeny weeny part of me that wants to cut the hedge but chop it in half!

I would totally and utterly be stoking the fire wouldn't I? I've been so miserable here though (and I am bitter because as I said, I loved living here apart from that - I have lovely neighbours either side who have never complained about noise and admit they never ever hear us, even when I am playing music) that I feel like I want the last laugh after years of actually being too scared to go into my own garden.

Anyway - so cut the hedge / don't cut the hedge?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Tue 21-Jun-11 16:30:37

I'd cut the hedge.

On my very last day.

When all my stuff was packed and everything was gone.

It would be my last act.

but I am very petty. blush

You probably shouldn't you totally should

CheerMum Tue 21-Jun-11 16:31:16

is there anything in the legal stuff of the rental that refers to the hedge? e.g. must be maintained at a certain height or anything. if not, personally, i would butcher it

madwomanintheattic Tue 21-Jun-11 16:31:29

cut it.

and change your username to rosiethepriveter.

FunnysInTheGarden Tue 21-Jun-11 16:32:12

cut it right down to a stump the day before you move!

Isitreally Tue 21-Jun-11 16:33:06

How definite is your move?
Is there anything specified in the deeds or the agreement about the shared garden about how the hedge has to be maintained (eg a minimum height given?)

If you are definitely moving and won't be breaking any contracts but mutilating heartily trimming the hedge, I would definitely be tempted to take it down to about 3 inches high.

MumblingRagDoll Tue 21-Jun-11 16:33:38

I think you need to look bck at how much you've written about petty niggles and then forget it. You are allowing this too much time from your life.

When she adresses you....look right through her. Act as though she is invisible.
OR...say "Oh shove off and do it yourself!"

whoneedssleepanyway Tue 21-Jun-11 16:33:55

I say cut it and I would be collecting the cigarette butts and returning those to her too

CheerMum Tue 21-Jun-11 16:34:08

i hated our old neighbours, they were horrid. long story but on the day we moved out every one of us wee'd up their wall, including the dog and baby (wiped a wet nappy over it). very childish but made me very happy

good grief, woman - and you're even asking us???? Do it. She's bloody well earned it. FWIW I think you're bang on the money - its' ALL about being a single parent, her problems with you. I'd lay money on it.
Silly bitch can enjoy looking at the rest of the horrific public walking past her house. Will she be around when you do it? Are you able to get away with it legally? Will she know where you're moving to?

GO. FOR. IT!!!

MajorBumsore Tue 21-Jun-11 16:34:23

Of course you should. It's not like putting prawns artfully between her shutters is it? <leaves that thought for OP to consider>

MrSpoc Tue 21-Jun-11 16:35:24

Go on cut it. i dare ya

gotolder Tue 21-Jun-11 16:35:24

Cut itgrin

Tortoise Tue 21-Jun-11 16:35:43

I'd cut the hedge.grin

Bloodymary Tue 21-Jun-11 16:35:56

Cut it right down and then sprinkle weedkiller on the roots.

Serve the old cow right.

BornThisWayBaby Tue 21-Jun-11 16:36:48

cut it down!

CheerMum Tue 21-Jun-11 16:36:50

oh, and make sure you leave a few bits sticking out here and there, don't make it too neat - nice and manky looking hehehe

Rosietheriveter28 Tue 21-Jun-11 16:37:11

Mumblingragdoll - I get you, I really do. I have been surprised at how much it has all affected me and how much it would upset me. My DP gets super angry when I come in crying after dealing with her as he sees me turn from someone who is usually pretty strong and forthright into a weak mess. I'm pretty laid back and half the stuff she has done wouldn't even register on my radar. I also swore I would never sink to her level and that the best way to deal with it was to ignore it - knowing I wouldn't be giving her what she wanted.

On the plus side - the new neighbours are craning in a bloody massive piano. Maybe the thought of that in my lovely new house will be sweet enough smile

LaurieFairyCake Tue 21-Jun-11 16:37:19

Learn topiary and carve FUCK OFF into it grin

VerintheWhite Tue 21-Jun-11 16:37:27

Cut it in the shape of a huge penis?

stillstanding Tue 21-Jun-11 16:38:30

Oh I would be sooo tempted to cut it ... I say go for it ... but only if you won't stay up all guilt-ridden about it afterwards ... I can get stupid like that but wish I was braver and just went for stuff like this! GO FOR IT!!

is she Swiss grin..if not she should definitely move to Zug, she'd fit in very well with the washing machine and toilet rules and regs for apartment living.

I'd be tempted, sorely tempted, but it would be just what you'd expect from the "rebellious single mum" wouldn't it she'd delight in proving herslef right about you all this time. Every dog has it's day, and she knows nothing about the new neighbours yet does she? They might turn out to be a real nightmare.

I would ignore her and also concentrate on the big move and your dc tbh. pity her for having such a non existant and desperate life that she has to bully a mum and a sn child. What must have gone wrong in her life i wonder?

I'm not even going to mention a weedkiller message spelt out on her lawn.

I'd cut it. Maybe turn it in to a topiary of two hands with extended middle fingers. Just for chuckles.

dollius Tue 21-Jun-11 16:38:49

I think shoving cigarette butts under your door is harrassment frankly.
But I would just ignore her and leave without cutting the hedge.
Sorry you've had such a horrid time with such a nasty neighbour,

Bloodymary Tue 21-Jun-11 16:38:57

Haha, wonder what she will think of the piano?

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