I have 4 children, we recently found out I was pregnant with dc5. Not expecting to be pregnant but realisitcally we took a risk even if it was only once and so there we go. We are happy about it but I am being eaten up by guilt over my sister.
She has been trying for betwen 1-2 year already (she didnt tell us exactly when she started ttc but at least 18 months i would say possibly more). She has had mulitple miscarriages in that time I will have had 2 or maybe even 3 children (if it has been slightly longer than I thought).
Normally as soon as i have had a positive test i have told her but I just cant bring myself to this time I feel so guilty and selfish for being pregnant again and more than that for feeling anything less than overjoyed when I first found out. I know she would give anything to see those two lines on the pregnancy test.
To make matters worse one of her due dates was in a few days. I have no idea how to handle this if she gets pregnant (or already is since she stopped telling people for the first few weeks after the first mc) then it will seem llike i did it to copy or something if she DOESNT then well I am pregnant and she isnt.
I dont want to hurt her feelings but i dont want her to feel like i am hiding it from her either - we dont live close to each other but we speak every single day especially online (we carry ipad around with us and talk through our housework and cooking even!) and the other way I dont want her to be upset i havent told her.
what can i do everytime I talk to her I feel so guilty about this and so worried about hurting her or damaging out relationship.
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Its only been two days, the guilt is killing me alreadyand nothing I do now will make it better
16 replies
Fernier · 21/06/2011 15:10
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