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...to post rotten fish to my neighbour?

(35 Posts)
MackerelOfFact Tue 21-Jun-11 15:10:03

Well, not exactly to them. I would address the package to a fictional person and then leave it in the communal hallway for whomever it is in out building who opens all the parcels and disregards them if it's something boring (they don't like books) or pockets it if it's something valuable (such as a mobile phone or a delivery of sports equipment).

I have some lovely smelly past-their-best whole seabass which it would be a shame to waste...

DogsBestFriend Tue 21-Jun-11 15:11:17

Please do, with my blessing. smile YAdamnNBU.

aliceliddell Tue 21-Jun-11 15:12:24

Where do you get that 'smart water' (is that what it's called?) that Securicor etc use?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 21-Jun-11 15:13:39

Exploding dye pack <watches too many films>

LittleMissFlustered Tue 21-Jun-11 15:15:40

Ask your landlord to install separate mailboxes and/or CCTV. And post the fish in the meantime. In an old phone box if you can get your mitts on onegrin

AuntieMonica Tue 21-Jun-11 15:16:03

certainly NOT BU at all

i sent a letter to the person who opened all the mail in my sister's building once (addressed as normal, to my sister) ...funny nothing was touched after that wink

PregolaLola Tue 21-Jun-11 15:16:45

or just exploding pack.....

MackerelOfFact Tue 21-Jun-11 15:19:58

Our landlord did install seperate mailboxes, but didn't seal up the main letterbox so everything still gets posted through that anyway. Not even signed for mail is safe as our lovely mail thief just looks at the name on the parcel and signs that name on the electronic signy thing!

I get most things delivered to work now but I'm still bitter. grin

PregolaLola Tue 21-Jun-11 15:20:21

address it to Miss Preeva-sea Pleeze

MackerelOfFact Tue 21-Jun-11 15:20:35

<Googles exploding dye>

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 21-Jun-11 15:27:28

DH says that you can use an airbag from a car and dye... He said poo but I can't condone that!

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 21-Jun-11 15:27:58

Watch Speed. Dennis Hopper gets one in the face (also Keanu has a nice bottom).

joric Tue 21-Jun-11 15:29:03

I like exploding dye idea - make sure it won't wash off for a good few weeks!

LittleMissFlustered Tue 21-Jun-11 15:30:20

Midnight jolly to the front door with a hammer, nails and a tube of loctite then grin

MumGoneCrazy Tue 21-Jun-11 15:32:27

stick some wires to an alarm clock with a note attached saying this bomb will self destruct in 10 seconds grin

BakeliteBelle Tue 21-Jun-11 15:34:33

buy a cctv device and just catch the bastard. Not before playing it back to them on a DVD that you post to their address

SenoritaViva Tue 21-Jun-11 15:38:56

what a tosser! I have some disgusting smelling fish packaging that it making me wretch, I can post it to you. Only thing is, if you use something foul smelling won't the hallway then smell and everyone will suffer. Ink much better as hopefully the tosser can be identified from ink on their hands plus some of their clothes will be ruined.

I've always thought the worst thing I could be sent in the post would be dog poo. Utterly foul.

Sidge Tue 21-Jun-11 15:39:35

Wot BakeliteBelle said.

It's theft innit?

MissVerinder Tue 21-Jun-11 15:53:38

Can't you get that powder stuff that turns your hands blue for like, two weeks? It was on Byker Grove once...

www.maxmax.com/aPowderAnti-Theft.htm

Stars82 Tue 21-Jun-11 15:54:02

love the dye ideas....

invest in the invisble dye that ''old school'' companies used to use to catch thieves... not experienced it myself but have witnessed a thief come a cropper using this method....and it looks like its a right bitch to get off...hence being able to catch them smile

put it on something, wrap it loosley in tissue paper, and let them open it to investigate....dye all over hands....thief caught and publicly embarassed smile

Good Luck

Stars82 Tue 21-Jun-11 15:55:27

sorry just realised that MissVerinder posted that idea...great minds and all that smile

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Tue 21-Jun-11 16:01:13

Or you could post a package and wrap it nicely and put a small box inside a bigger box and inside the small box have a piece of paper that reads

"FUCK YOU YOU THIEVING BASTARD. KEEP YOUR SKANKY HANDS OFF OTHER PEOPLE'S THINGS. YOU NASTY SACK OF SHIT!"

or something like that.

Stars82 Tue 21-Jun-11 16:06:08

LOVE IT.........

Or you could post a package and wrap it nicely and put a small box inside a bigger box and inside the small box have a piece of paper that reads

"FUCK YOU YOU THIEVING BASTARD. KEEP YOUR SKANKY HANDS OFF OTHER PEOPLE'S THINGS. YOU NASTY SACK OF SHIT!"

or something like that.

joric Tue 21-Jun-11 16:27:12

Let's go all Enid Blyton and use itching powder!

InnocentRedhead Tue 21-Jun-11 16:32:09

OMG i am loving this suggestions... I would just suggest a turd, fresh as you like, but then again... that would just be plain nasty ;)

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