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wwyd - am so tired of the noise.

(15 Posts)
whatsallthehullaballoo Tue 21-Jun-11 11:25:58

Well I am very tired. Atleast three times a week my next door neighbours dd (she has two girls) is up for HOURS screaming and crying. She is approaching 2yrs old. I go to bed around 10 ish and she is often already kicking off. This can last between 1-3 hours. It then starts again in the night for another 1-2 hours. Her child's room is next to mine and it is not possible for me to move rooms. My husband actually slept downstairs because of the noise and is now exhausted for an important day at work (again).

I feel sorry for my neighbour - I really do, but they just leave her to scream for hours. I have asked her if she is ok, if her daughter is unwell. She just says 'oh she is a pain to settle'.....'nothing wrong with her she doesn't want to sleep' or 'oh - she is teething'. I do not hear them go in to her, there is no let up from the little one and it gets so frustrating in the night. Today, my neighbours curtains are drawn and all is quiet - catching up on sleep no doubt. However, I had to be up to start work 8-5pm, as did my husband - no chance of a nap for us.

I suppose their is nothing I can do - it must be annoying my neighbour too but I am feeling sorry for myself because I have 2 children aged 5 and 2 and I have had all the night wakings and feedings, my kids sleep now they are older and yet we are still awake all night with a screaming child.

M0naLisa Tue 21-Jun-11 11:28:01

I would express your concerns to her again. Although i know what its like to have a child who wont sleep and its not nice, but i settle them even if it means going downstairs cos i live in a mid terrace so have neighbours either side, i dont want to wake them when they are working plus DH works too.

ConnorTraceptive Tue 21-Jun-11 11:29:12

I don't think there is much you can do. I'm sure they are as worn down by it as you are. I don't think you can assume they don't go to her. Maybe they do but just don't engage her or talk to her.

Other than getting a sofa bed and sleeping downstairs I'm not sure what to suggest.

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 21-Jun-11 12:12:48

Is your neighbour actually aware of the impact that this is having on you? Have you told her that you can hear her DD and that it is keeping you awake?

Obviously do it as sympathetically as possible, e.g. "I realise there's not a lot you can do, but could you perhaps even swap her into another room for one night so that we can catch up on sleep? It's really affecting us, as we both start work at 8, just one night would make a big difference to us." And see where it goes.

GypsyMoth Tue 21-Jun-11 12:14:39

is it HA/council owned? private rented?

buzzsore Tue 21-Jun-11 12:15:50

Ear-plugs? Music on in your room? Move bed to another wall?

worraliberty Tue 21-Jun-11 12:15:50

How do you know they don't get up and see to her?

Just because you can't hear them, doesn't mean they don't. IME it's best to be as silent as possible when trying to settle a child back to sleep.

whatsallthehullaballoo Tue 21-Jun-11 12:21:33

That is true worra - the walls are very thin though and I can hear when her door is opened...perhaps the screaming is too loud for me to hear it!

I cannot move my bead as the other wall has a recess on it. NOT large rooms upstairs at all because it is military housing.

I might take it turns with husband to wear ear plugs... (I need to hear if my own children wake). I will approach her again next week but I just do not see what good it will do - I know how hard it is to settle a child and you cannot just switch them off.

worraliberty Tue 21-Jun-11 12:22:54

Oh God would that be perfect if they came with an OFF button grin

Fernier Tue 21-Jun-11 12:24:34

I worry about this with my neighbours - my 10 month old crys like mad overnight, i can be holding her pushing her in the buggy but nothing settles her i take her downstairs but that makes it worse because she is getting spolied by the attention if me trying to keep her quiet!

whatsallthehullaballoo Tue 21-Jun-11 12:48:42

It is an awful situation to be in - hence why I have not pushed it.
I can remember knocking on my new neighbours doors and apologising for the noise. But it was at the beginning of the night rather than in the middle of the night. I am grumpy because she is having a sleepy day now (update on fb) and I cannot. I have three two year old about to wake up and I could just go to bed now.

I am sure it will have to end soon....

aliceliddell Tue 21-Jun-11 12:53:08

Muffles ear plugs from Boots - you still hear what you need to, eg alarm clock, your own kids crying, etc.

fairydoll Tue 21-Jun-11 12:59:17

poor you. It's bad enough being sleep deprived when it's your own kids , let alone anyone else's.I don't think really anything you can do except Ear plugs or sleeping somewhere else or improving the sound insulation.

controlpantsandgladrags Tue 21-Jun-11 12:59:36

Earplugs. You will still hear your own children if they wake. Also agree that you can't assume they don't go to her when she cries.

Mobly Tue 21-Jun-11 13:02:18

It is so hard for everyone if you live in terraces, flats or semi detatched housing. My DS, now 3yrs and sleeps fine, was a nightmare at bedtime and throughout the night. The thing is I made it worse by pandering to his every whim just to keep him quiet so as not to disturb the neighbours. I would take him downstairs, he was still haveing bottles in night at past 2yrs but in the end the thing that stopped it was getting tough.

I explained no more bottles, he could get into bed with me but he had to go to sleep. I had a good wk of crying in the night but then he got the message and now he is OK. I did pre-warn the neighbours too.

Now we have it with DS2, he is only 19mths, I bring him into my room and it must disturb the neighbours if he cries in the night but I know by taking him downstairs it will worsen the problem. I am trying to comfort him but it might not sound like it. (He has chicken pox at the moment).

Remember, this too shall pass. I think the idea of possibly sleeping downstairs is a good one!

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