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To feel a bit judged when dressed in low cut top or short skirt when around religious men?

(29 Posts)
organicjules Mon 20-Jun-11 22:13:08

I don't make a habit of wearing very little clothes but when dressed up on a night out I do find myslef trying to cover up because I'm scared of being 'judged' in restaurants, even on my wedding day in front of the vicar I worried about what he would think of my strapless dress, AIBU?

organicjules Mon 20-Jun-11 22:14:32

I lived in Thailand for 5 years and a lot of Thai people used to think of western women as sluts because they didn't cover their shoulders...

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 20-Jun-11 22:15:21

YABU... but you'll find that out for yourself as soon as you grow up...

PonceyMcPonce Mon 20-Jun-11 22:17:11

I sort of know what mean, but I always dress in a way I think is appropriate, so have confidence to carry it off iyswim.

Katisha Mon 20-Jun-11 22:18:34

Well tbh I don't really like strapless wedding dresses in church but there we are.

BooyHoo Mon 20-Jun-11 22:20:16

YANBU because most likely the are judging you. but please dont let that (or anyone else on here hmm) stop you from wearing the clothes YOU like. you dont wear clothes for them, wear them for yourself.

PamBeesly Mon 20-Jun-11 22:20:17

I think that peoples opinions on dress are just that, their opinion, I wouldn't personally let it bother me. If they judge you based on their perception of how a woman should dress thats their too bad. If they vocalise it and make you feel uncomfortable then they are BU. You should be culturally sensitive and dress accordingly when visiting certain countries, Dubai for example, for your own comfort and safety but a wedding dress in a church is hardly offensive unless its very skimpy, a church is still a place of worship for some.

scurryfunge Mon 20-Jun-11 22:21:40

How I dress has fuck all bearing on any one else, especially religious men.

meditrina Mon 20-Jun-11 22:22:05

All the vicars I've known have been very jolly and very broadminded. I can't exclude the possibility that you might come across a dour one, but despite that I think the religion based generalisation is misplaced.

But it does sound as if some of your choices of clothes aren't making you happy. This is something to solve from within yourself.

FabbyChic Mon 20-Jun-11 22:22:07

Just be yourself, as a rule you never wear a short skirt with a cleavage top, if you wear a cleavage top you wear a long skirt or trousers, you never expose both tits and legs its one or the other. Thats if you want to be classy of course.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Mon 20-Jun-11 22:23:35

Strapless dresses are a no no as wedding dresses. Women look like plates of meat being offered up at the alter in them! Esp when the flesh is spilling out over the top of them. Hey, ho, just my opinion,

MightyBright Mon 20-Jun-11 22:24:06

YANBU, I know what you mean

fatlazymummy Mon 20-Jun-11 22:24:34

Where does the religious men in restaurants come into it? I don't understand. To be fair though I would think a lot of people would wear a wrap or bolero over their shoulders if they were getting married in church.

BooyHoo Mon 20-Jun-11 22:25:09

strapless dresses are a yes yes if that's what the wearer likes. people really need to find more important things to judge. they really do.

Katisha Mon 20-Jun-11 22:27:21

But sensitivity to culture (yes, even in a church in the UK) has its place I think.

Although I doubt most restaurants are heaving with Religious Men Looking to Judge.

milkybarkidsgirlfriend Mon 20-Jun-11 22:27:50

They are all hypocrites in the middle East! Once out of Saudi air space and OMG!!!

DogsBestFriend Mon 20-Jun-11 22:28:44

It depends. Going out for dinner is one thing, visiting the Vicar/Rabbi/Imam is something else. I'll wear what I like for a night out but would dress more respectfully if I was meeting a priest or, say, a friend's elderly Grandparents.

In some cultures you will be judged. It may not be right for them to do it so YANBU there but we have to accept that it happens.

MightyBright Mon 20-Jun-11 22:31:09

My husband was once asked (jokingly) in our local Indian restaurant why he didn't mind me going out in such a low cut top blush then angry

fatlazymummy Mon 20-Jun-11 22:32:47

Thankfully we don't have to consider the feelings or opinions of religious men [or women]in this culture, unless we go to the place where they practice their religion, or their homes of course.

cat64 Mon 20-Jun-11 22:34:58

Message withdrawn

organicjules Mon 20-Jun-11 22:39:31

Arghh images from viz are popping up now! Can I just claify that I don't wear micro minis with low cut tops! I mean if I happen to be wearing a top which is slightly lower cut or a dress/skirt above the knee...

dadof2ofthem Mon 20-Jun-11 22:53:04

personaly i find straps sexier that strapless, but maybe thats just me
i was in a greek orthodox church once i the siani desert, some bearded old preist mutterd abuse at a girl who was just looking at the icons and stuff , she was just a torist like me , i looked at him ,and then at the girl, wondering what she did, i looked back at the preacher-man and he smiled at me .
it was only afterwards that i realisd what had happend , he chastised her for haveing bare shoulders , well i think that is what happend , it was all in greek.
like when people think because your white you will dislike pakistanis( happens to me alot ) the preacher guy must have though i was also offended by the nude shoulders . i wonder , if the human form ofends him so much why he doesnt prey harder to the manufacturer , why he made it all so rude!

Pictish Mon 20-Jun-11 22:54:39

Yabu - and a tad bonkers to boot.

BooyHoo Mon 20-Jun-11 22:57:27

why on earth would it matter whether you found straps sexier or not? confused AFAIK most people dont dress according to your preferences. i know i dont.

megapixels Mon 20-Jun-11 23:01:09

How do you know they are religious (apart from obvious ones like the vicar)? Like when you are judged at a restaurant or out and about. Maybe nobody's bothered but you think you wear far too little and hence feel paranoid wink.

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