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to wonder it's ok to offer an opinion on here but not to make a judgement?

(32 Posts)
joric Mon 20-Jun-11 21:28:03

I'm interested what people think about the difference between the two.

whomovedmychocolate Mon 20-Jun-11 21:41:15

I think there is value in pointing out things others may not have thought of without being judgey. Saying for example: 'did you perhaps consider that the other person may have been <reasonable practical reason for their behaviour>'

AuntiePickleBottom Mon 20-Jun-11 21:50:16

having an opinion is offering your views on a subject without making judgement on a person.

for example if someone starts a thread asking how to get a 5 year old to stop having a dummy , and people give tips and suggestions like start for dummy fairy, or maybe in there opinion just take the dummy away all cold turkey.

however if people start saying, other things like i bet she still has a bottle and the mum still uses buggy because she is a lazy parent thats being judgemental.

Serenitysutton Mon 20-Jun-11 21:52:46

Ithink is just a ridiculous mn obsession which has no placE outside of here. Judging is a huge part of discussion forums- whereis the discussion otherwise? Judging is having an opinion on someone elses actions or behaviour.

joric Mon 20-Jun-11 22:04:20

opinion - a subjective belief, the result of emotion or interpretation of facts.
judgement - the evaluation of evidence in the making of decision.

Thanks Wiki.

joric Mon 20-Jun-11 22:07:01

It's just the term 'judgey pants' - is it the way an opinion is voiced that turns it into a judgement.. God, I'm boring myself now!!! smile

dadof2ofthem Mon 20-Jun-11 22:08:25

i'm with you auntie .

FabbyChic Mon 20-Jun-11 22:24:03

I think it is hard not to judge, there are times when only an opinion is needed and other times when judgement is called for.

quirrelquarrel Mon 20-Jun-11 22:31:22

Oh fgs!

It really annoys me when people get all precious about "judging". Reminiscent of the "I just wanna be myself and other people should never, ever judge me cos I also want to live in a safe plastic bubble". Grow up!
You probably judge people every time you walk outside and see a clashing outfit or a screaming toddler or whatever, otherwise you'd be bland and boring and noncommittal. Judgement is a cog in the wheel of progression and it gets a lot of help from the opinion camp, i.e. they are mostly inextricable.

joric Mon 20-Jun-11 22:48:15

Ok- agree. Why then do people get so wound up about being judged if judgement is only ever based on opinion?

Tanith Mon 20-Jun-11 23:23:58

Surely if you accuse someone of being "judgey", you're being judgey yourself?

quirrelquarrel Tue 21-Jun-11 07:54:48

If you identify a judgement, you're not being judgemental. Impossible reasoning- so there's no neutrality in what should be one of the neutral areas of communication (identification)?

quirrelquarrel Tue 21-Jun-11 07:56:17

Because they don't like the opinion so slap a label on it which will get more of a reaction. Since the whole "everyone should be at the centre, everyone is entitled to their own opinion" revelation.

Expelled Tue 21-Jun-11 07:58:00

Quirrel are you after a quarrel
(Just my opinion on your posts) :D

joric- I think that everyone judges but should often only pass their opinion

catgirl1976 Tue 21-Jun-11 08:06:09

I think often on here if you say "i think x behaviour is a negative behaviour" there are some people who wlil start screaming that you are committing the terrible crime of judging. It is not the same as saying "I think those who commit x behaviour should be publicly flogged" but you will be treated as if you had said that.

There are also some mis-guided "feminists" who think the "right of women to chose to do whatever they want" is more important than the choice made, regardless of the consequences of that choice. Anyone who disagrees with a choice they make is somehow threatening the right of women to make thier own choices. As a woman I find that view insulting as it suggests the "right to choose" is something so special to me that I would be blinded by having such power and wouldn't be able to get past that and make choices based on reason, responsiblity or intellegence but rather would act like a 2 year old basing everything on what "I WANT" at any given moment.

I am a little more evolved than that and I think 99.9% of women are too. Yes my right to chose how I live, how I act and who I am are important but credit me with the intellegence to make reasoned choices please.

quirrelquarrel Tue 21-Jun-11 08:16:14


No, really. It's just another of my bugbears...that particular one gets rather heavy. It's a cliche.

joric Tue 21-Jun-11 13:09:04

I do agree with that quirrel - if people don't like / disagree with an opinion, some do retaliate with the 'judgypants' name in order to get the moral upper hand in a discussion.
I think that on MN there are also people who state opinion as FACT ( and that's that) Their opinion is the absolute truth and when others question it they reply along the lines of 'are you mad?' I think it is very difficult to label these people anything other than judgemental.

catgirl1976 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:26:20

Sorry. Didn't mean to rant..someone on here wound me up by being very precious about judging whilst being massivley judgey at the same time. But it sounds like that happens a lot

WinterSnow Tue 21-Jun-11 18:29:53

Judging = you are saying something I disagree with
Having an opinion = you are saying something I agree with

Macaroona Tue 21-Jun-11 18:34:29

Judging is when a poster says 'I think you are <insert derogatory term> because you did/think that'

An opinion is about the action or thought as detached from the person. Opine the behaviour, don't judge the person.

Eg 'You are a bad mother for bottle feeding' = judging

'I think bottle feeding is not a healthy option' or whatever.


catgirl1976 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:35:02

smile wintersnow that does seem to be the official definition on here

WinterSnow Tue 21-Jun-11 18:36:02

I think people are considered judgmental when they have formed an opinion based on assumptions rather than knowledge or fact. I also think people tend to be more 'judgmental' when they are unhappy or angry.

I really hate this trend of MNetter's trying to out liberal each other then shouting down/flaming any 'judger' who dares question or have a different opinion.

Ormirian Tue 21-Jun-11 18:36:07

I offer opinions.
The rest of you judge.

meditrina Tue 21-Jun-11 18:48:21

I think these terms have become a part of MN jargon with a meaning specialised beyond ordinary day to day use.

It's an opinion (which can be supportive or condemnatory) if it's thoughtful, sticks to the point, shows at least some familiarity with the actual issue at point, and does not either insult whole groups of people or assume their total motivation from an example of behaviour.

It's a judgement if it makes unwarranted assumptions, demonises whole groups, uses false logic, or knowingly peddles misinformation - especially if accurate information is ignored/derided, those holding a contrary view are mocked or insulted, or (my favourite) anything along the lines of "I do this because I love my kids. I'm glad I'm not like you. I don't know why some people bother to have children".

quirrelquarrel Tue 21-Jun-11 18:50:13

Yes, well, we all know what being judgy and opinionated are, even if the distinction is a little ambiguous.

I think what often throws a spanner in the works is condescension etc. That really gets people's backs up, unless they decide to act all Above It, but then take out their terrible burning anger in other ways. Hotbeds, these discussion boards! wink

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