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to be very down about dd1 and food...

(19 Posts)
oinkyoink Mon 20-Jun-11 20:18:52

My dd is 2 and for the last two months has turned into an extremely fussy eater.
She eats garlic bread, sausages, ham, sweetcorn, pizza, tomatoes - all in small quantities.
She very sometimes eats yoghurt like petit filous and toast.
She won't even eat the common favourites like mash with beans or plain pasta.

Up until two months ago or so, she would eat quite a lot, was adventurous in trying new foods and fed herself. Since this fussiness started I feed her as other wise I feel she will just take a bite and run off...

I am really struggling and keep bursting into tears with frustration as she doesn't really get any proper carbs into her. AIBU or should I just chill out? Will she still grow? I'm so worried.................... sad
Thanks for any suggestions / support.

oinkyoink Mon 20-Jun-11 20:20:20

Forgot to say the default option at every meal is porridge which goes down ok.

worraliberty Mon 20-Jun-11 20:21:22

Chill out, I don't see a problem she's only 2 and sounds like quite a good eater.

She shouldn't be able to run anywhere during mealtimes though. I'd have her back in a highchair to be honest.

warthog Mon 20-Jun-11 20:27:14

so are you making her a meal and then if you feel she hasn't had enough you're giving her porridge?

if so, i think you should stop doing that. she knows she can fill up on that so is less inclined to try anything else.

i used to do that with my very fussy first child. then i started giving her a plate of food and walking away. when she got down and agreed that she'd finished, took it away with no comment. that helped a bit.

just let her get on with it. try not to stress. haha. i know it's tough.

over time it got better.

CostanzaBonanza Mon 20-Jun-11 20:27:38

My 2 year old DS is exactly the same. He won't eat potato in any form and will only eat pasta when it's spaghetti.
Ive just been offering him the same thing as the rest of us at each meal and trying not to worry too much about it, even if that means he only eats chicken nuggets or breadsticks.
He is still in a highchair and will sit there until the rest of us finish eating, I will give him a yoghurt or rice pudding at the end of the meal though as long as he has tried a bit of food.
she sounds like she's eating quite well though, with a variety of textures, try not to worry too much smile

dazzlingdeborahrose Mon 20-Jun-11 20:29:22

This is very normal. My son went through a phase where he would eat only sausages (and chocolate of course). I assuaged my guilt by buying very expensive sausages from the local farm shop :-/ This lasted for about 6 weeks when he went off sausages and would only eat pasta with tomato sauce. Now he eats anything that's put in front of him (and anybody else). Don't make a big deal out of it. She'll get through this and so will you and then you'll wonder what the problem was. My only rule was that you sit at the table to eat and the rule remains in force.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Mon 20-Jun-11 20:31:17

Sounds fairly decent to me TBH, I wouldn't worry too much. My DD was a terrible fusspot at that age and now I am quite sure she would eat me if I stood still long enough (8 now). Agree with worra though, she shouldn't be allowed to just grab a bite and run off. Don't worry too much, you are stressing yourself out unnecessarily.

RitaMorgan Mon 20-Jun-11 20:31:31

Chill out, or you'll make it worse.

She'll eat bread, meat, some veg and yoghurt - that is reasonably balanced. Does she drink any milk?

Just keep putting dinner in front of her when everyone else is eating, and stop feeding her and and stop crying. Include one thing you know she'll eat at every meal.

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls Mon 20-Jun-11 20:36:30

Sorry to tell you but be prepared for the long haul! My dd frustrates the hell out of me with food, however she is getting a relatively balanced diet now and I hope once school starts and she doesn't have the option of being fussy without going hungry I can pull her out of it!

The more frustrated I got the worse I felt about it, I have since chilled out about it and she has become a wee bit more relaxed - needless to say she tries loads at nursery that she won't eat at home smile

DamselInDisarray Mon 20-Jun-11 20:37:17

As with the others here, I say relax. She's 2; fussiness in eating is entirely normal. Put her in a high chair at the table and serve her a portion of whatever you're eating (possibly best to start of by ensuring that each meal contains something she'll eat). Sit down and eat yourself and chat away to her as she eats (or doesn't eat). Just don't make a bit deal of it. She's unlikely to starve herself and worrying about it only makes you both stressed.

She'll almost certainly grow out of it and will be eating plenty (and loads of variety) in not too long at all.

Also, try not to make any assumptions about what she will or won't eat / what's appropriately 'child friendly' food. If you get into the habit of just serving her what you're having (and enjoying) she'll probably surprise you with some of the things she chooses to eat (and some of the things she refuses). It can also change from day to day depending on her mood. Just relax and try to enjoy mealtimes with her.

noblegiraffe Mon 20-Jun-11 20:37:17

My nearly two year old is also getting fussier. He is strapped into his high chair, gets presented with a plate of whatever we're having, sometimes he eats it and sometimes he doesn't. He always has a yoghurt after, and if he hasn't eaten much, he might get two, and maybe some breadsticks to fill him up as if he doesn't eat much, he wakes in the night hungry.

No fuss, no special cooking and no tears, which there would be on both sides if I tried to feed him stuff he didn't want to eat.

He's too young to understand that if he doesn't eat something he doesn't want to he'll get hungry later, so I'll save trying to reason with him till he's a bit older. But I'm pretty sure he'll grow out of it.

bubblecoral Mon 20-Jun-11 20:41:08

Chill out, she will keep growing.

Remember that fussy eating is very very common. Children starving themselves to the point of illness, or any detriment at all, is very very rare.

I would stop allowing her to have porridge after meals that she won't finish. I know it goes against every mothering instinct you have to let her go hungry, but nobody ever said this parenting thing was going to be easy!

The most important thing is to keep offering her food, even if you know she won't eat it. She has to see it on her plate, she has to be exposed to foods that she chooses not to eat, because food phobias develop fairly easily. i don't mean to scare you with that, but as long as food isn't turned into a major issue, and she is exposed to a variety of food (even if she won't eat it) she will be fine. At some point she will start to try a little, even if it seems like that day is taking forever to come!

blackeyedsusan Mon 20-Jun-11 20:42:52

normal 2 year old behaviour designed to drive parents to distraction.they need less calories as their growwth has slowed down and they are exerting their new found independence by throwing their rice all over the floor <glares at ds>

Jonnyfan Mon 20-Jun-11 20:46:53

Try not to worry. My sister refused to eat most things but would pick up any food which fell onto thye floor and eat it. DM just kept the floor very clean and dropped little nutritious bits! She is healthy and of normal size ! Keep offering a variety and try not to let her see that you are concerned. Eat yours and comment on how yummy it is but try to ignore her. Easy to say of course!

debka Mon 20-Jun-11 20:47:21

My DD is 2 and has been like this for a good few months. I only offer fruit between meals, and she rarely eats that. I give her her dinner, if she eats it, great, if not, hey ho. She gets a relative amount of pudding, ie tiny meal, tiny pudding (yoghurt/rice pudding/homemade cake). She sleeps through the night and is growing well, so she's obviously getting enough.

Keep offering, and don't make a big deal out of it. She probably needs less food than you think.

foreverondiet Mon 20-Jun-11 20:58:34

I think that sounds normal - she'll eat bread, meat, porridge, yoghurt & some vegetables (sweetcorn and tomatoes).

Appetite reduces at that age as growth slows down. Plus she wants to exert her independence. Does she look starved?

And why are you worrying about proper carbs when she eats porridge?

My DD now 7 sadly had never eaten the favourites like beans or mash.

kirsty12321 Mon 20-Jun-11 21:07:55

One of the children I'm a nanny for was doing this it started around 2yrs 4 mnths.
He got in the habit of only eating one thing on the his plate, somedays this would be the meat somedays the veg and sometimes the carbs could never tell which one he would choose. We stated to put a smaller portion of the option we thought he would choose (usually meat) and then usual portions of veg and carbs butthen also put a bowl with 'second helpings' in between us so he could see that all three of the options on his plate were available for seconds, when he finished the one thing he wanted to eat and then asked for more we told him he had to try half of the other two options on his plate to get a second serving, but I wouldn't put any more of the veg or carbs (providing he chose meat option, visa versa) on unless he asked, it took him about 3 weeks to realise that if he refused to try he two things in his plate to get more of the first it would be given to younger brother or for my dinner, we still use this method with both of them (he is now 3 and younger brother is 17 months) and neither of them ask for seconds now unless they've tried the other two first and both of them usually end up finishing all 3 options in the second bowl! Hope this helps smile just don't show your getting frustrated as it tends to make them more fussy and end up not eating any dinner at all

chipmonkey Mon 20-Jun-11 21:24:33

This is so normal. Ds1's pet phrase at that age was "I doh likit!". Up to then, I had been so proud of how much he ate!blush
IMO between 18 months and 3 years is a very bad age for fussiness and food refusal. It killed me that I would cook lovely meals from scratch, often arranged to look like houses or animals or trees, only to find he would rather eat sausages , nuggets and chips ( he attended a nursery where this was standard fare) and only small amounts of those.
One think I did find helpful was cutting down on his milk intake. He was drinking about as much milk as a 12 month old and it was filling him up and making him lazy about trying different foods.
But relax! She won't starve herself or end up ill. If it makes you feel better, get her some vitamin drops but in time she will eat properly again.

oinkyoink Mon 20-Jun-11 21:43:32

Thanks everyone, for your replies. It really does help me to read the different stories/opinions.
I am due with dc2 in September and am getting worried about that as I know I won't have the time to run around after her with a spoon of this and that. Also worried she will get worse as tehre will be some jealousy etc...
She doesn't look starved, no, but she is very petite and suffered chronic tonsillitis from June 2010 until March this year when the tonsils were finally removed.
Ok I will try to relax and will keep exposing her to new foods (something I have not been doing but realise now is important).

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