Namechanger (you see what I did there, free spirit...). I swear this is not a windup and the bravado and clenched-teeth jokes below actually mask genuine dread which is casting a serious pall.
Okay, SO. DH and I are going to Glastonbury. I've not been since 2007 when I was pregnant with DC3 and had the most miserable time ever. Spent a lot of time crying in the mud. Swore never again but DH has been to almost every one and the ILs offered to babysit and it sounded like a great idea back whenever we got tickets. Drinking cider and kissing in the sunshine, dancing the night away, enjoying each other's company. Lovely.
Of course it's going to be anothermudfest but that's okay, I have special wellies this time. And it won't be as awful as the trench warfare of last time. BUT.
After 3 DCs in 5 years and despite religious kegels I just don't have great bladder control. Time was when I could pee standing up no probs but I tend to spray now. And the weather won't be conducive to easily hitched-up skirts; I'll be in jeans etc. I have to confess that back in 07 I did pee just stand and piss a couple of times but I was wearing huge mumus which hid everything and was pregnant which was a good defense. And the thick coating of mud masked it. But I did get wee in my wellies.
I have bought a shewee and been practicing but I dribble everywhere - this is a new issue too. I can't seem to control the flow like I used to.
Although 2007 was horrible, my bump did get me into the disabled toilets - no such luck this time. And TBH I'm just not up for the whole thing in the way I used to be. I remember pissing in hedges (and probably down myself), no shame, casual, but I'm an old lady who has some shame now.
I don't want to be spending all my time queuing for loos (which are disgusting anyway), but I wondered if anyone had any ideas? DH is a right free-spirit festival type who has this rose-tinted image of me as being a wafty tie-dyed fairy princess and I'm just not sure what to do!
I have thought of:
-practising more with the shewee (will do)
-not drinking very much (silly, dehydration not cool and cannot go a whole day without peeing)
-getting so blind drunk I don't care (would probably backfire, ho ho)
-packing loads of pairs of trousers so if I do wet myself while struggling with the shewee or waiting in nine-hour longdrop queues I can at least get changed.
-taking illegal drugs (you see my desperation - will not be trying this!).
Can ANYONE think of ANYTHING else I could try?
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to be stressing about the combination of glastonbury and bladder weakness and ask if anyone has any ideas?
37 replies
weespirit · 20/06/2011 10:24
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