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to be stressing about the combination of glastonbury and bladder weakness and ask if anyone has any ideas?

(38 Posts)
weespirit Mon 20-Jun-11 10:24:33

Namechanger (you see what I did there, free spirit...). I swear this is not a windup and the bravado and clenched-teeth jokes below actually mask genuine dread which is casting a serious pall.

Okay, SO. DH and I are going to Glastonbury. I've not been since 2007 when I was pregnant with DC3 and had the most miserable time ever. Spent a lot of time crying in the mud. Swore never again but DH has been to almost every one and the ILs offered to babysit and it sounded like a great idea back whenever we got tickets. Drinking cider and kissing in the sunshine, dancing the night away, enjoying each other's company. Lovely.

Of course it's going to be anothermudfest but that's okay, I have special wellies this time. And it won't be as awful as the trench warfare of last time. BUT.

After 3 DCs in 5 years and despite religious kegels I just don't have great bladder control. Time was when I could pee standing up no probs but I tend to spray now. And the weather won't be conducive to easily hitched-up skirts; I'll be in jeans etc. I have to confess that back in 07 I did pee just stand and piss a couple of times but I was wearing huge mumus which hid everything and was pregnant which was a good defense. And the thick coating of mud masked it. But I did get wee in my wellies.

I have bought a shewee and been practicing but I dribble everywhere blush - this is a new issue too. I can't seem to control the flow like I used to.

Although 2007 was horrible, my bump did get me into the disabled toilets - no such luck this time. And TBH I'm just not up for the whole thing in the way I used to be. I remember pissing in hedges (and probably down myself), no shame, casual, but I'm an old lady who has some shame now.

I don't want to be spending all my time queuing for loos (which are disgusting anyway), but I wondered if anyone had any ideas? DH is a right free-spirit festival type who has this rose-tinted image of me as being a wafty tie-dyed fairy princess and I'm just not sure what to do!

I have thought of:

-practising more with the shewee (will do)
-not drinking very much (silly, dehydration not cool and cannot go a whole day without peeing)
-getting so blind drunk I don't care (would probably backfire, ho ho)
-packing loads of pairs of trousers so if I do wet myself while struggling with the shewee or waiting in nine-hour longdrop queues I can at least get changed.
-taking illegal drugs (you see my desperation - will not be trying this!).

Can ANYONE think of ANYTHING else I could try?

Troubletutmill Mon 20-Jun-11 10:26:23

Incontinence pads? lots of plastic bags, pee and then wrap up and chuck in a bin?

delusionsofadequacy Mon 20-Jun-11 10:30:40

going on the shewee idea maybe a funnel or a big jug that will catch spray?

weespirit Mon 20-Jun-11 10:31:42

I tried tena last time and they don't absorb enough! My problem is once I'm going I'm going, I can't just do a bit iyswim.

Plastic bags... I'm not sure how I'd pee into a plastic bag subtly but it's an idea for near the tent (in the dark!)

weespirit Mon 20-Jun-11 10:32:44

I don't think I can carry a jug around me all day.... maybe a pint glass? But there's still the 'how do I find a private spot to do that subtly' issue with thousands of people around.... maybe I should wear a mask?

WowOoo Mon 20-Jun-11 10:39:50

You'll have to stay at the back and as near as possible to the toilets.

Practise pushing in queues with confidence. grin

A kind of shawl thing for your dp to hold around you to wee behind in your portable wee holder.

Double up on Tena ladies things. Put a child nappy in - aren't they far more absorbent. For very short term of course.
P.s. I have no experience of this...BUt I hope you have a fab time. Am v jealous.

WowOoo Mon 20-Jun-11 10:43:02

Oh, you'll need a little backpack with all your booze, drugs, I mean some spare clothes, shawl and plastic bottles.

Mabelface Mon 20-Jun-11 10:54:58

Go to the doctor and have a chat. I have a dodgy bladder and I've been prescribed medication which is actually life changing. I can control the urge now, and am not wearing a pad anymore. I've only been on them a few days and there was an improvement from the first tablet. I've also cut out caffeine and alcohol which help a lot.

Thefoxsbrush Mon 20-Jun-11 10:55:04

If it was me I would try and drink as little as possible, practice more with a she-wee, take extra clothes.

Whatever u do dont try and hide in bushes as the green police will grab u and shame u without understanding the full story

There are proper flushing loo's with nicer cubicles next to welfare tent.

How do u manage in day to day life? X

ipswichwitch Mon 20-Jun-11 11:04:11

def practice more with the shewee, it takes a bit time to perfect the technique!!
would also recommend getting a plastic waterproof poncho (tbh, with the weather we seem to get at festival time you'll probably need one anyway!)and a pint glass so if you do need to squat behind the bushes the poncho will keep things covered up while you fill your glass smile
and above all enjoy, you lucky thing!

Lovecat Mon 20-Jun-11 11:05:31

Have you been to your GP about this, OP? I know this is of no earthly use to you re. Glasto, but I had similar issues after DD's birth and after some (mortally embarrassing) tests, I had a TOT (Trans-Obdurator-Tape) operation and since then have had no continence issues (although I can't wait a long time to wee, but not so short a time that I get caught short unless it's my own stupid fault for hanging on iyswim...). It's kind of a hernia op for your bladder, works wonders. It's worth going to talk about it.

Anyway... pre the op, if I knew I was going anywhere there wouldn't be loos, I would stick one of DD's nappies in my pants - not very nice, but incredibly absorbent, I found even the 'super' tenas weren't enough as I had the exact same problem - once the floodgates opened, that was it!

Do you avoid the dug out loos? I found they had far less queueing than the portaloos and actually by the 2nd day don't smell half so bad as an unemptied portaloo!

Oh, and a lidded bucket in the tent for night-time/in between bands emergencies...

Huffythetantrumslayer Mon 20-Jun-11 11:06:20

Have you tried going to the gp? I've recently been put on some tablets to stop me weeing a million times a day. I'm not incontinent but it says the pills are for that too. Might be worth a try?

Troubletutmill Mon 20-Jun-11 11:06:42

How about tupperware/takeaway boxes in your tent? seal , keep and then dispose of a few at a time so less queueing.

FannyFifer Mon 20-Jun-11 11:06:44

Catheter? wink

Huffythetantrumslayer Mon 20-Jun-11 11:08:28

X posted with practically everyone!

tyler80 Mon 20-Jun-11 11:12:08

Just be brazen and jump the queues. This is what I've always done with queues, everyone far too polite and British to say anything!

My reason for not waiting in line wasn't even as good as a weak bladder, more annoyance at the stupidity of people who stand in a queue and start doing a one in one out thing whilst loads of toilets remain free because presumably people are too scared to try a door and find it locked.

tyler80 Mon 20-Jun-11 11:19:04

Should have pointed out that's what I do with festival toilet queues, not queues in general.

Second the point about the drop loos. You can see peoples legs/feet in these so they don't suffer from people waiting when there's loos free. Also more pleasant if slightly sunny, lots of ventilation, rather than the steamed shit effect of portaloos

neptunesdaughter Mon 20-Jun-11 11:22:17

You could take some of these for use in your tent - I know that getting up and out to the toilet in the middle of the night in a field is pretty annoying! They sell them in camping shops too...

Travel John

JanMorrow Mon 20-Jun-11 11:24:29

I was pregnant last year and I took a "bog in a bag" which I only used at night (so I didn't have to trek to the toilets - our tent has a large porch which made it fine), but you could use at other times of the day if you wanted? It's a camping stool with a hole in the middle and you put a bag over it which absorbs the pee and then throw the bag away.

It won't help you in the middle of a crowd if you're not wearing a skirt though but maybe a combo of this and some extra strengh tenna lady AND the she pee will work?

weespirit Mon 20-Jun-11 11:28:16

Oh wow, thanks for all the responses! I feel buoyed up!

I'm fine in day to day life - I can hang on for ages, pee like a normal person etc (well I assume it's like a normal person... I don't go to the loo more than anyone or make more mess in the loo. Certainly not compared with DH and the DCs...). I have a lot of adhesions on and around my bladder and suspect the 'spraying' might be connected - I can't direct the flow like I used to be able to. I will mention it to the GP though, why not eh. With other issues I've been sent away with a pat on the head and "it could have been much worse" (re birth injury etc), but no reason not to persevere.

I'm lucky that I don't have incontinence per se, but if I start going I cannot stop. Maybe that's a type of incontinence?

I always go for the long drops (so long as I don't look down.... blee...), with a packet of baby wipes. I'm not so squeamish about mounds of human waste so long as it's down a hole away from me and I find the portaloos get much grimmer, yes yes to the people who said that.

I am considering dosing myself up with immodium so all my loo visits are as fleeting as possible...

EveHarrington Mon 20-Jun-11 11:28:40

THIS is your friend! Light enough to carry around with you, easy enough to set up, just find a discreet-ish area (or not, depending on how much of an exhibitionist you are and how much free advertising you wish to afford Firebox) and off you go ....

aliceliddell Mon 20-Jun-11 11:29:10

There is a folding cardboard disposable camping lav on tinterweb somewhere. But no link I'm afraid. Go to doc, also try nutritional medicine which got my MS ravaged bladder from 'can't lean forward in chair' to 'can sneeze while lying on side (sometimes), get big incontinence nappies from disability equipment shops? Have fun!

MackerelOfFact Mon 20-Jun-11 11:39:57

I am rubbish at free weeing, but I have found that you can wee fairly discreetly by sitting completely on the grass, subtlely hoiking the back of your trousers/knickers to just below your bum, and just peeing. So long as you're on a slight slope, the grass sort of channels it away so you don't end up sitting in it. I have fond memories of discovering this weeing method at a festival with my best friend... to passers-by we looked like two weirdos sitting on the grass and giggling dementedly. But no... we were weeing.

MackerelOfFact Mon 20-Jun-11 11:44:23

Obviously a below-bum-length top helps.

knittedbreast Mon 20-Jun-11 11:55:14

leave the drugs, youl just realy really need to wee but will be unable and so spend a long time crouched waiting for it while people laugh at you ;0

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