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To be mad at DP for being 5 hours later

(12 Posts)
DutchGirly Mon 20-Jun-11 08:20:10

I have been seeing this guy for 6 months, it is quite serious.

This weekend he cancelled our plans to train for an event in stead. No problem although I would have liked a bit more notice so I could have made other arrangements myself. He then cancelled seeing me on Friday as well as he had to get up early for training event. He was supposed to be at my place early afternoon Sunday, no sign of him or any communication at 3 so I left several msg to call me as I was worried. At 3.20 I get a txt saying he just got up, got massive hangover but would be there at 5.30.

No sign of him at 5.30, no communication so at 6.30 I leave to have dinner with friend and DD instead. At 6.45 he calls to say he is stuck in traffic, I tell him I am pissed off waiting for over 5 hours and say I am going for dinner with friend, goodbye.

I hate it when people are late without calling, I feel they're disrespectful of my time as I do not have much spare time as a single mum with 3 year old. Nothing from him since, am I being unreasonable?

3littlefrogs Mon 20-Jun-11 08:22:56

YANBU. He is rude and disrespectful. Good thing you found out now.

hester Mon 20-Jun-11 08:23:29

Um. I think he may be less serious than you, I'm sorry to say. I think his behavour is waving huge red flags.

kreecherlivesupstairs Mon 20-Jun-11 08:27:52

This won't be a popular view with you OP I am afraid, but to my way of thinking, you are serious, he isn't.
What training was he doing that resulted in a hangover? I'd like to take up that sort of training TBH.

3littlefrogs Mon 20-Jun-11 08:28:47

grin @ kreecher!

DutchGirly Mon 20-Jun-11 08:36:52

Thanks for the feedback. Thing is that he is quite serious about us.

Training event was for a sports event abroad to take place in a couple fo weeks. I have met all his friends and family, his mother told me she has never seen him this happy and he took me abroad to meet his family. He is buying another property in Europe, has taken me to view it etc. He has fixed stuff in my house, fitted new locks as there was a burglary next door etc. He is normally very affectionate and reliable, so this is out of character.

I am quite easy going and don't mind if things are not going to plan as long you let me know so I can make alternative arrangements. Not contacting me at all, I find rude and disrespectful.

hester Mon 20-Jun-11 08:42:31

OK, well if he is serious then I would be worried that he is training YOU - to accept this kind of treatment. You really must draw a line in the sand NOW that you will not put up with it. And if he does it again, run for the hills.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 20-Jun-11 08:50:36

What's he training for? The 4-minute 10 pint sprint? A pint drinking relay at his local?

You may see this relationship as 'quite serious', but it seems that he sees it as a joke as he's not only been disrespectful of your time; he's been disrespectful of you.

Needless to say YANBU, but you will be if you make contact with him before he sends a florist's-worth of flowers and/or offers to whisk you away for a romantic weekend by way of sincere apology.

If no apologetic gesture is forthcoming, throw this tidder back and cast your net again.

Vicky2011 Mon 20-Jun-11 09:06:47

As others have said, if I was being treated like this I would assume I was in the process of being dumped.

It's actions not words that count and his actions suggest that he just isn't that in to you I'm afraid. And if he IS and is still treating you like that then he is a disrespectful oaf and you need to do the dumping.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 20-Jun-11 09:10:08

Mmmm...<reviews above response in the light of financial further information>

If the tickets have been booked for the forthcoming sporting event, I suspect you'll hear from him again in the near future - but make him sweat before you accept an apology otherwise you'll be giving him the message that he can run rings round you.

Euphemia Mon 20-Jun-11 09:20:00

You need to have a calm chat with him about how his behaviour made you feel, and make it clear that you will not tolerate this happening again, because your time is precious and you will not waste a day sitting about waiting for him.

If he's serious about you, this will barely cause a ripple. It's a respect issue.

DutchGirly Mon 20-Jun-11 09:52:11

Thanks girls for the solid advice. I will have a calm chat with him if he contacts me as I won't be doing the chasing.

It is very much a respect issue and I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour.

P.S. Why is it that at these days, suddenly ex-boyfriends start emailing you saying 'I was thinking about you today' Do they smell it or something?

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