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Offended for being called a BBW

(27 Posts)
Benandjerrys2011 Sun 19-Jun-11 22:47:14

I'm a size 22 and I recently joined Plenty of fish dating site, I've had lots of mail calling me a BBW, had to google it to know what the terminology meant.
Big beautiful woman. AIBU to find this offensive I know I'm big but I don't want it pointed out in every message.

Alambil Sun 19-Jun-11 22:49:24

yanbu

scurryfunge Sun 19-Jun-11 22:51:26

YANBU.......I would rather be described in other ways -ie-intellect, charm, humour, etc.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Sun 19-Jun-11 22:52:01

The people that are saying it to you aren't trying to offend or upset you though, IYSWIM. They prefer bigger ladies and are saying that they find you beautiful.

Empusa Sun 19-Jun-11 22:52:02

Not sure. On the one hand they are trying to compliment you, on the other, there is no need to reference your size.

But then PoF (IME) is full of perverts. So you are more likely to attract the BBW fetishist.

HowlingBitch Sun 19-Jun-11 22:54:39

Men who use this term are also BBWs. Big Bloody Wankers.

shinydiscoball Sun 19-Jun-11 22:57:12

YANBU at all. Out of curiosity though what made you choose Plenty of Fish? The reason I ask is that the people I know who have used it have found that it seems to be primarily for casual flings rather than actual dating....if that's what you're after then fair play to you, just letting you know ;)

lubeybooby Sun 19-Jun-11 22:57:45

YANBU but I've been referred to as a BBW and I'm a 16. Even once when I was a 14/16 and I'm nicely in proportion hourglass shape. I think in the dating scene there will always be idiots who think it's some kind of compliment.

MeconiumHappens Sun 19-Jun-11 23:01:21

YANBU, how rude. Plenty of fish does seem to be one of the worst dating sites though, prob better with something like match.com for a slightly less sleezy gene pool?

Benandjerrys2011 Sun 19-Jun-11 23:01:27

I thought maybe it was compliment but then one man messaged me and I was honest and said your too far to meet as he doesn't travel then abused me calling me a fat ugly cow sad

Benandjerrys2011 Sun 19-Jun-11 23:02:51

I thunk your right with it being the worse,maybe because it's free

Empusa Sun 19-Jun-11 23:03:08

Yeah, seriously, PoF is like that. I made the mistake of joining once, and left pretty quickly. I'm not easily shocked, but some of the messages I got on there...!

OkCupid isn't too bad. I met DH on there.

Benandjerrys2011 Sun 19-Jun-11 23:04:28

I'll try ok Cupid and see what that's like. Cheers smile

ChaoticAngelofLitha Sun 19-Jun-11 23:04:53

Ignore him, he's an idiot. Try Smooch.com, another free site but better than PoF

Empusa Sun 19-Jun-11 23:06:05

You'll still get some idiots on OkCupid, but at least the silly questionnaires will keep you amused.

Pumpernickel10 Sun 19-Jun-11 23:07:58

My friend rates matchdot.com, it's not free but she said she's met some great men on there. Good luck op smile

ChaoticAngelofLitha Sun 19-Jun-11 23:09:01

grin You get idiots everywhere, unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a place we can send them to wink

TakeMeDrunkImHome Sun 19-Jun-11 23:12:13

Try somewhere else, friend of mine also uses match.com and has had success.

I wasn't trying to justify what they were saying by the way, just trying to put a different slant on it, that perhaps the messages were sent with a complimentary intent? Obviously the arsehole that insulted you has a small and probably warty penis and was gutted you wouldn't travel to meet said small and warty penis grin

happyuk Sat 10-Sep-11 21:21:13

Goodness me, what vitriol! When will you men-haters stop blaming men for everything that is wrong with your lives? I don't see what's so offensive about the BBW term. Unless you have better suggestions? Rubenesque? They have the same meaning and are intended as a compliment for the more well-endowed lady.

The term is subjective anyway, and can denote women who may be considered barely plump to those who are morbidly obese.

The main reason women are insecure about their weight is seldom down to chauvanistic men but primarily comments from spiteful bitchy women. Sisterhood indeed!

TrillianAstra Sat 10-Sep-11 21:35:39

A dating site that costs money will weed out some of those who are just there to piss around.

YAB a bit U to feel insulted when someone compliments you on a feature you have told them about. If you had said that you liked mountain biking would you feel insulted if a guy said he liked women who are outdoorsy? If you had said you had long dark hair would you be insulted if he said he liked brunettes?

SuePurblybilt Sat 10-Sep-11 21:37:41

Not sure why she'd join a dating site if she was a 'man-hater', happyuk hmm.

forehead Sat 10-Sep-11 21:40:22

YABU, they are trying to stress the fact that they appreciate your beauty.

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld Sat 10-Sep-11 21:41:24

You had to drag up an old thread to give us your words of wisdom happyuk hmm

SuePurblybilt Sat 10-Sep-11 21:42:58

Well spotted Chaotic, he's one of them then. Oh good, such fun hmm

FourEyesGood Sat 10-Sep-11 21:43:41

When I read the title of the thread, my sleep-deprived brain had a go at deciphering 'BBW' and came up with Big Bad Wolf. I need to go to bed.

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