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AIBU?

Boarding school at four years old?

247 replies

mightybright · 19/06/2011 19:17

SIL works for the MOD and BIL is in the navy. We were at their house on the military base today and she told me that her neighbour has put her 4 year old daughter into boarding school. I said 'four, that's young' and SIL completely freaked out then stormed away from the table.

I'm not judging their neighbour, I don't even know her, I just said it was young which perhaps in hindsight was insensitive but I do feel she overreacted, aibu?

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exoticfruits · 19/06/2011 19:19

Four is too young-full stop.

LordSucre · 19/06/2011 19:19

yanbu - is your sil thinking of doing the same then? Bit of an over reaction!

MoonGirl1981 · 19/06/2011 19:19

No, it is young. Too young, really.

I know someone with an eight year old in boarding school and I can't get my head around that.

Glitterknickaz · 19/06/2011 19:20

I think a wee bit young, yes.

meditrina · 19/06/2011 19:20

Someone is winding someone up somewhere.

There are no UK boarding schools which take 4 year olds.

MoD does not pay CEA before children are 7/8.

mightybright · 19/06/2011 19:21

No, their DC's are 8 and 12. Their 12 year old has just started at boarding school as the navy pay.

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marycorporate · 19/06/2011 19:22

The thought of my 5 year old being at boarding school makes me want to cry but I'm not from an army background, it would be more normal if that is what your friends and neighbours were doing. Some parents think it preferable to moving the child from school to school every month or so. let people parent the way they want I say.

mightybright · 19/06/2011 19:22

Their neighbour is a single parent and had to go back to work so put DD into boarding school

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bubblecoral · 19/06/2011 19:22

There must be more to this, what did sil say when she was freaking out?

Of course 4 is far too young to have a child in boarding school, and if sil is considering it then she obviously has issues with it herself. If she was confident that it would be a good thing to do, she wouldn't feel the need to freak out while trying to justify it.

pooka · 19/06/2011 19:23

My dad went at 7 and I think that is harsh.

He was miserable until he was 13 and went to next school where he had a good housemaster who took an interest in him.

marycorporate · 19/06/2011 19:23

I don't think that can be the reason mighty, why not get a nanny?

LIZS · 19/06/2011 19:24

This is the second thread about boarding schools for 4yr olds this week.

Hulababy · 19/06/2011 19:27

There are some English based private schools that take boarders from Y1 - that would be 5yo. Most are from age 7y up. Not seen any from 4y yet though.

Grabaspoon · 19/06/2011 19:30

I work for a SP in the army and could understand that this may be an option re childcare for the child. Short notice exercises lasting anything from 2 nights to 3 weeks, working long days 7.30-6.30, deployments, working nights on guard duty. If the parent doesn't have relatives close by/who can help then surely this is the better way of ensuring care/continuity of education instead of being shipped off to gp's every coupld of weeks. It would be sad but understandable.

Hulababy · 19/06/2011 19:30

Boarding schools: www.ukboardingschools.com/

mightybright · 19/06/2011 19:36

She said that the mother had no option, it was her job and she needed to work, I was a bit too to take much of what she said it

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everlong · 19/06/2011 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bubblecoral · 19/06/2011 19:39

Of course the Mother had an option. Working in the military is surely not the only thing she could possible do for work. But perhaps she care more about her job than her very young child. Sad, but happens.

mightybright · 19/06/2011 19:39

that was meant to read 'what she said in '

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meditrina · 19/06/2011 19:40

As there are no UK boarding schools which take 4 year olds, there must be a misunderstanding. Perhaps she has a childminder who will do overnights?

meditrina · 19/06/2011 19:41

I think the military is a red herring here - they pay fees only for over-8s.

mightybright · 19/06/2011 19:42

bubblecoral - Well I would have though so, I know I wouldn't be able to do it but I really don't know the ins and outs of her situation.

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mightybright · 19/06/2011 19:43

No she had to go away for work, not just nights. I'm not sure what she does, something in the navy though.

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Grabaspoon · 19/06/2011 19:44

Remember the military offers other perks ie a house, a steady job, and more or less school holidays off - xmas/easter/august so is probably a good career for a SP. She may not be able to afford childcare/mortgage etc in a civillian job / she may be half way through her agreed sign up.

Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's wrong.

GingerWrath · 19/06/2011 19:44

If you are in the military you have to give a lot of notice to resign, I had to give 18 months so maybe she is stuck?

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