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to not imagine a mindset that thinks it is ok to tell a total stranger they'd be best having their arm amputated ?

(29 Posts)
CMOTdibbler Sat 18-Jun-11 20:17:44

Since my arm got fecked up, I've had to get used to random people wanting to know what I did, how, what is being done about it, and why it won't get better. This includes shop assistants, people in cafes, random people in the queue for the ladies...

But the other day I was repacking my bag at a security checkpoint, and they guy started telling me I'd be better off 'doing a soldier' (whilst making a sawing motion at his arm). I couldn't quite believe it tbh. I know its a useless arm, but you don't just say that to people do you ?

I know the random comments are just people empathising in a non useful way, but this was a new level

Cheeseandbiscuits Sat 18-Jun-11 20:20:19

How rude! What an incredibly unhelpful comment!

Pumpernickel10 Sat 18-Jun-11 20:20:39

Hope you told him where to feck off! What a stupid thing to say to you. Hope it gets better soon smile

babybarrister Sat 18-Jun-11 20:21:52

maybe he had some sort of detailed experience/knowledge that he wished to share but is just totally insensitive?! hope your arm improves in any event

CMOTdibbler Sat 18-Jun-11 20:27:09

I think the only experience that would be relevant would be actually having an elective amputation, and even then, I don't think sharing it would be appropriate in a 2 minute interaction.

It won't improve much, even with all the planned surgery/therapy after the four surgeries/11 months already, but thanks for the thoughts

ZZZenAgain Sat 18-Jun-11 20:28:32

what an idiot to say that

What happened to your arm?

CMOTdibbler Sat 18-Jun-11 20:45:24

I broke a lot of bones, killed some muscles, damaged some nerves, ripped ligaments, and generally messed it up.

HellAtWork Sat 18-Jun-11 20:53:00

Twat. CMOTdibbler Not that I think you will ever get the opportunity to say this to anyone, because I hope you never have to suffer such mindless fuckwittery again, but I would have liked to have made a sawing motion at my neck and suggest elective decapitation as the way forward for his apparent inability to use his brain.

Are you able to do physio etc to build on what strength you do have? Steroid injections? Sounds extremely fucking painful - wishing you better.

chunkythighs Sat 18-Jun-11 20:53:28

I heard once that where ever you go, you should never pack a gobshyte. Because there will always be one meeting you at your destination...... I've yet to be proven wrong wink

Sorry about your arm op (and your interaction with the gobshyte)

Chundle Sat 18-Jun-11 21:03:33

You should have replied that perhaps he would be better off having his Tongue amputated then he would be unable to make such useless and hurtful comments - what a wanker!

Triggles Sat 18-Jun-11 21:22:43

I think you should've offered a comment along the lines of "perhaps you should just have a lobotomy then.. it's obvious you're not actually USING your brain!" hmm

MumblingRagDoll Sat 18-Jun-11 21:25:26

Some people are idiotic! I once had an eye operation and as I was walking out of the hospital with a big dressing on one eye...a man said "You should have ducked" and laughd...I laughed...but imagine if I had just had my eye removed???????????? It would have been terrible!

Salmotrutta Sat 18-Jun-11 21:30:11

shock shock - why would anyone ever think it was OK to comment like that????

claricestar Sat 18-Jun-11 21:34:00

some bloke said "cheer up it might never happen" to my mum and aunt outside the hospital where my grandad was dying. Fancy saying that outside a hospital! some people are first class plonkers

DeWe Sat 18-Jun-11 21:39:06

If he has knowledge (my daughter has congenital amputation defect) then you do get some people who have a "useless" arm choosing to amputate because you can then use a prosthesis. Was pretty stupid way of saying it though. Dd does get sick of being asked about her hand whenever she meets anyone new, although she's had a few funny moments when her prosthsis has fallen off, or someone has helpfully tried to help her find her hand out of her coat sleeve. Cue embarrassed faces.

CMOTdibbler Sat 18-Jun-11 21:54:26

Wish I'd said something more than 'not an option' to him, but brain wasn't fully engaged, and I was concentrating on getting everything packed up.

Amputation wouldn't be an option (did have a brief talk with my surgeon about it ) due to my nerve damage as it would be super high risk for phantom pain.

MumblingRagDoll Sat 18-Jun-11 21:56:42

Bugger them! An arm which is there and which you want is not useless! It serves a valid purpose.

confuddledDOTcom Sat 18-Jun-11 23:48:42

I've had similar comments about being on crutches although not as bad as that one!

I hate that I seem to be public property now, people ask and say things they'd never normally dream of! Worst is when I'm pregnant and I get the "you're pregnant not disabled" line - really? Wow no one told me it was a miracle cure! Then after pregnancy people telling me I should be better by now as it's x days postnatal. I was in the queue for a TV show that was being filmed locally and one of the runners noticed I was on crutches and asked if I was OK. Dad pointed out I was also 7 months pregnant. She asked if I was sure I was OK then walked off. The lady in front turned around and said "I thought you were going to be allowed to queue jump. You're not the only one pregnant you know!" She was in her 60s so not talking about herself. I'd said I was fine so not like I was trying to queue jump. An ambulance crew turned up seconds later and took me to the front of the queue, the runner said she couldn't leave me there.

Everyone demands to know what I've done to myself. I haven't and I don't particularly want to explain my medical history with every stranger who demands to know! I think I could write a book of stupid comments, fancy adding some comments of your own?

hester Sun 19-Jun-11 00:00:34

shock

That is feckin unbelievable.

Salmotrutta Sun 19-Jun-11 00:11:47

My parents used to line us all up when we were going out visiting/shopping/day-tripping and warn us sternly "Don't make remarks about other folk!!"
We had it drummed into us never to comment on physical appearances or attributes - if we ever did have the temerity to announce anything we faced their wrath when we got home as they considered it the height of rudeness to make comments like this.
That has stayed with me ever since and I am utterly bamboozled at the number of people who think it is OK to make comments nowadays! sad

diggingintheribs Sun 19-Jun-11 00:15:39

DS (4) is already primed on not mentioning peoples physical appearance. he still gawps sometimes or asks but he normally waits until we are away and then asks.

the guy you saw - clearly has zero empathy

DS has a visible birthmark and as a baby it was quite red - a few people asked me 'what's wrong with him'. Made me cross!

Salmotrutta Sun 19-Jun-11 00:21:22

They were ignorant gits diggingtheribs. What the heck is up with people who think it's OK to say this crap?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 19-Jun-11 00:24:31

YABU to expect sensible conversation from an an airport (?) security guard

CMOTdibbler Sun 19-Jun-11 15:51:57

TBF Cogito, most of them are dead helpful (I travel a lot for work) and tell other travellers to have a bit of patience with me.

Just been to buy diesel, and the cashier would not leave it alone - my muttered 'I had an accident and lost the use of it' wasn't enough for her, oh no.

thumbwitch Sun 19-Jun-11 15:54:00

Smacking him in the face with it would have demonstrated it still had some uses, hey CMOTD! wink

Sorry that it's causing you more than just painful problems. sad

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