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to expect adults at the playground to keep their snurking about SN in check?

(28 Posts)
TartyMcFarty Sat 18-Jun-11 19:38:48

Dropped in to the playground with DD on our way back from town today. While pushing her on the baby swings, I realised that a group of parents were staring at and in fits if laughter about a woman with SN who was on one of the bigger swings. She was blissed out, not in anyone's way as there were spare swings. These parents reminded me of the mean kids at school who couldn't let any kind of difference pass without mercilessly taking the piss.

Maybe I should've openly challenged it but I didn't. I just glared, got DD out of the swing and moved to a different part of the playground. I wish I'd said something.

AIBU to feel that DD will come across enough ignorant prejudices in kids her own age, and that adults have a responsibility to keep their stupid snurking and bullying ways out of the playground? angry

shaz298 Sat 18-Jun-11 19:41:38

YANBU to want that at all. I too am mum of a child with special needs. However I think what we want/expect and what we are likely to get are two different things.

Unfortunately people anre people the whole world over and that means some are lovely, kind, caring and sensitive to others and some are downright rotten, and then you have al the folks in the middlle..........sad but true. x

smudgethepuppydog Sat 18-Jun-11 19:43:34

YANBU at all but it is an attitude we encounter all too often sadly, people still feel uncomfortable around those with disabilities and laugh all too often.

applechutney Sat 18-Jun-11 19:44:42

Gosh tarty, I find it really shocking that a group of parents would behave that way!

angry sad

veritythebrave Sat 18-Jun-11 19:45:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat Sat 18-Jun-11 19:48:55


Yeuch! Hated this at school, hate it even more from adults.

Riveninside Sat 18-Jun-11 19:50:48

Tossers. It breaks my heart ignorant adults like this will titter about dd.

TartyMcFarty Sat 18-Jun-11 19:53:00

On the plus side, that lady did look so happy on the swing smile

MrsDaffodill Sat 18-Jun-11 19:54:10

veritythebrave "just because they grow up doesnt mean some people stop being bullies and become nice people....". Too true. I met the girl who bullied me at school much later in life. She was proud that she had done it, smirking and laughing about it. Nutter.

Andrewofgg Sat 18-Jun-11 19:55:12

YANBU but you are not being realistic. People are . . what they are.

drivemecrazy63 Sat 18-Jun-11 20:01:41

YANBU like verity said once a bully always a bully and some people never grow up they are lucky they were not born with SN and just as well their not parents of a vunerable dc with SN isnt it ,they enrage me too .

blackeyedsusan Sat 18-Jun-11 20:05:57

some people are just plain nasty...

280169 Sat 18-Jun-11 20:06:03

i dont swear often but these type of people really fuck me off .there but for the grace of god, it could be any one of us or our family in that position.I absolutelky hate such ignorance.

How can we change with idiots like this.

Peachy Sat 18-Jun-11 20:08:03

280 I only wish I knew, but IME it is getting worse not better.

moondog Sat 18-Jun-11 20:08:20

While open mockery is deeply unpleasant it is important to separate surprise and bemusement at an unusual situation from aggression and hostility.

SauvignonBlanche Sat 18-Jun-11 20:12:35

I guess if the OP thought this lady was being laughed with rather than at they wouldn't have posted.

jugglingmug Sat 18-Jun-11 20:13:38

moondog I agree about aggression but I think we should all be hostile towards this behaviour, and disgusted.

crazycatlady Sat 18-Jun-11 20:15:33

YANBU. I am sure that if it had been an adult without SN having a go on the swing they may have inwardly thought it a little strange but wouldn't have laughed. Laughing at people who aren't in on the joke like that is just awful.

Ivortheengine8 Sat 18-Jun-11 20:17:05

Sorry pregnancy brain here but what is SN?

crazycatlady Sat 18-Jun-11 20:20:03

SN is short for special needs

TartyMcFarty Sat 18-Jun-11 20:23:40

moondog it really went beyond suprise and bemusement to pointing and laughing (of the doubled-up variety), and for the whole time I was there.

I guess one of the ways we could at least try to stop it is by having the guts to challenge it, rather than just walking away in disgust, as I did. sad

Ivortheengine8 Sat 18-Jun-11 20:26:37

Thanks Crazy.
Absolutely pathetic. I know it happens because my brother has a child with cerebal palsy and he has told me. People are so cruel. To think that adults can be so immature and insensitive is beyond me. What on earth will they teach their children about things like this?

Ivortheengine8 Sat 18-Jun-11 20:29:20

I agree with moondog on that, I think I might have smiled at her myself, but 'Laughing at' and 'Smiling at' is different. I think the OP must have heard them laughing,

moondog Sat 18-Jun-11 20:44:26

No Tarty, then in that case, it's beyond the pale and may they hang their heads in shame.

MissBetsyTrotwood Sat 18-Jun-11 20:58:33

DS2 has SN (hearing loss and a severe balance disorder meaning he staggers and weaves around when he walks) and at the playground I have both overheard and had directed at me hilarious comments about not letting him booze. It is fucking obvious that a child of his age must have a disability to be walking in the way he does but for some reason these parents think it's a giggle.

I just say 'He has special needs.' and walk off. It's not funny. I don't feel like making a joke of it. He has this disability for the rest of his life. I don't feel strong enough to confront them at the moment without totally, utterly losing it and I don't want to do that in front of my children.

What a bunch of arseholes.

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